There have been times in my life that the phrase ‘What if..’ has become a kind of mantra and I would find myself repeating it over and over again. What if I’d never met so-and-so? What if I hadn’t fluffed that interview? What if I’d actually caught that train? What if I’d accepted that dinner date?
The questions might be different subjects, but all the questions are basically the same: how would my life be better if I’d made different choices?
Even though the what if’s have ruled my life from time to time, in reality they do not help one little bit. Sometimes they build up regrets for choices we may now think were bad, although at the time they felt right. Regrets do not help when we have got ourselves into sticky situations. Sometimes we have to say OK, I stuffed up. How do I fix it? The what ifs can hold you back. Saying instead: OK, What Now, will help you move forward.
Sometimes the what ifs come forward from a different perspective. You made a choice that turned out to be great and life is looking so good but the what ifs sneak in and upset your contentment by whispering in your mind, “What if you hadn’t done…..? Life would be so bad.” And that can lead you down a spiral that spoils the enjoyment of your great choice.
There is no doubt about it: if you find yourself saying those two tiny words about a decision you have already made…. STOP. It’s won’t change anything!!
If you find yourself saying those words about a choice you have YET to make… great. Run through all the scenarios you can think of – the good, the weird and crazy, and the bad. They can help you make a conscious choice that you can life with. And there are no what ifs, because you solved them all first.
Why do we fear people who are different to us? Why do we get uncomfortable when we have to venture outside our comfort zone?
As always, I am just verbally rambling, exploring ideas and opinions and have absolutely no scientific basis for these points of view, but to me it seems fairly obvious that this fear that is endemic in humans to the point where we barely recognise it as fear, is a species survival mechanism. Or rather, it used to be. Now I think Ego gets in on the game far too often.
You can kind of understand the fear by imagining yourself as ancient Homo sapiens, sitting with your family in a nice warm, dry, cozy cave with a fire that drives away the darkness. Outside it might be raining but you are dry and protected. Hunting was good and you are are warm, well-fed, and feeling relaxed with your clan.
Then a stranger hurtles into your space. He looks very different with a short, powerful-looking body, bandy legs, over-hanging brow ridges and a low pushed-back forehead, and you immediately sense a threat. Even more so because of his very different-looking but obvious humanness. You need to protect your clan, your fire, your home.
That threat would have triggered your Fight or Flight response and your body would be flooded with hormones getting you all ready for a fight for survival. Maybe you win that fight but then, afterwards, every time you see a Neanderthal you feel that threat. You teach the children of your clan to fear that threat – and they, in turn, will teach their children. And that seems right, so you decide to go get rid of the threat and you take the attack to those others. It’s not warfare – it’s about me and my survival.
Now imagine that survival reaction being replicated through a thousand different situations over millennia. Constantly being reinforced. It makes it seem pretty natural for humans to come together into groups of people who think, act and maybe even look alike. There is comfort and safety in being with people who look and think the same as us.
But we consider ourselves as knowledgeable, intelligent beings; aware of the hows and the whys of living on this planet. We know how genetics have played a role in why most people with red hair and green eyes will be found in Ireland, Scotland, and the North of England, and rarely anywhere else. We know that the colour of someone’s skin is the result of where their ancestry was based on Earth. We also know that all these wonderful differences allow us to be diverse within the uniformity of being human. We know that the entirety of humans on Earth can be traced back to a single woman – Mitochondrial Eve. We are all brothers and sisters, yet we fear each other.
We fear those with different skin tones. We fear those with different ideas. We fear those who come from a culture or belief system other than ours. And I have no idea why this aspect of being a human from planet Earth has developed so strongly and has become so much the norm that we don’t seem to be able to grow past it.
We need to learn to understand that ‘my way’ is not the only way. ‘My beliefs’ are not the only ones to hold merit. When we stepped onto that path it was led through the out-of-control Ego of strong individuals, and this has also travelled through the psyche of humans for millennia. It’s in-built. There will be strong people with strong ideas and we will follow them for the protection we think they offer. We fear that which is different to ourselves and our ego puffs itself up and tells us that we have every right to be top-dog.
We will not, ever, be able to say that we are Citizens of Earth until we can get past our fears and our egos and break down the barriers of that fear of each other that was first built when our species was barely human.
This is a little peek into how my mind works. Obviously, I’ve never been in anyone else’s mind (who has) so I can’t compare, but I’m pretty sure that it’s not ‘normal’. Especially when a simple statement happens to attract my attention.
Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.
Eckhart Tole
This statement appeared in a Facebook meme and made me stop in my tracks. The owner of the page had invited members to share information about one way that they don’t take life too seriously. A simple enough question but it triggered my wonky wiring to take a deeper look. I’ve only been diagnosed about a year and I am still exploring what being autistic means. I feel that if I can understand more, then I can avoid the misunderstandings that have caused difficulties in my life.
‘Too seriously’
I am autistic. I have a very literal way of processing information. I also have anauralia – no inner voice. I process information best through typing or talking aloud. Life is always serious. Or rather, it is not frivolous. I have no understanding of ‘too seriously.’ Something is either serious or it’s not.
I have to admit to being really puzzled about this. There are times when my life has been fun and there are times when I have faced suicidal ideation, but my life, the same as most other people, has fallen somewhere on the bell curve between those two points. “Too serious” would have to fall off that curve.
My mind dug deeper into this. If something is too serious there would have to be a better adjective: horrendous maybe. Disastrous would also be good. There is a nuance here that I can only almost grasp. I know that the question is not being asked in a literal way, and I know that it is meant only figuratively, but I just can’t grasp what is being meant.
The word too is a very confusing word for this brain of mine. People say: “You are too literal.” – well yes. I am either literal or I’m asleep.
“You are taking what I said too literally.” – well yes. You said something that was not funny, vague, or whimsical, so why would I not take it literally.
To my mind the word ‘too’ is really what is causing the confusion. To me it is accusatory. If something you do is too much then you have stepped over societal boundaries of accepted behaviour. And if that is the case, you have gone beyond what is normal human interaction.
Too serious means beyond serious, but the initial question asked doesn’t mean that. It actually means less than serious, and I know this because the question contains the phrase ‘don’t take life too seriously.’ So we have a double negative making a positive situation. But is ‘too’ a negative word? Not normally. It’s an inclusive word. Maybe a neuro-typical mind can explain this but my mind just focuses in and then gets caught up like a big ball of knotted string!
Does all this make sense? Probably not… except you have actually read to this point. Does it matter? Probably not… except: as a suggestion – if you are talking with an autistic person, be careful in how you frame questions. The most innocuous words can send our brains off in strange directions.
And mainly this is a glimpse into the convoluted working of my mind… all typed out. If I vocally worked this way through things that attract my attention (and I do try that) all that happens is that the listener gets even more confused than me as I verbally wobble through ideas, then discard them, pick them up again with a different perspective and end up tied up in knots with no clearer understanding.
It is really not at all surprising that misunderstandings happen. And sometimes it’s better to simply let things go. It’s all as clear as mud anyway!
I have a number of neuro-divergent traits and one of them is so newly recognised that even its name appears to be up for grabs. It was first introduced to me as ‘anauralia’ and there are a number of scientific papers to support that name, but there are also papers recommending that it be called ‘anendophasia’. There could be some differences – I don’t know, I’m no scientist so I’m going to stick with ‘anauralia’.
So what is this? “No inner voice” is one way of describing it. For me, I simply say that I prefer not to think inside my head. It’s easier for me to think by typing or talking.
It appears to be linked to aphantasia, and especially with those who have multi-sensory aphantasia who are not only unable to visualise in their mind, but also can’t recreate the smell of their favourite food; the taste of ice cream, what it feels like to stroke an animal or even to hear the voice of loved ones or a favourite song inside their heads. With anauralia, we can’t even hear our own voice in our heads.
I do actually ‘think’ inside my head, but I don’t hear anything; I don’t necessarily understand my thoughts in the terms of words. I sometimes sub-vocalise my thoughts, but frequently I think of thinking as a subliminal process. It’ll either happen without any conscious input from me (which is great when I need to write because I just sit on the concept, whatever that may be, and when the time is right, the words just flow and all I have to do is go back and do a little bit of editing!) or I talk aloud which can be confusing if it’s in the middle of a conversation with someone because even the rubbish stuff I need to discard gets verbalised!
When I read of the Buddhist understanding about thoughts I became a little confused.
Thoughts have no birthplace. They pop out of nowhere.
This I can understand. I’m sure that everyone (including those of us with anauralia) have experienced the weird and wonderful stuff that seem to just materialise out of nowhere. It’s my default mode!!
Thoughts are nevertheless unceasing.
This one was a little confusing for me. My mind is silent. And I have learned, especially when meditating, that I have a kind of ‘off switch’ that can take that silence a step deeper. It’s like turning off the subliminal aspect.
I’ve heard of people who have minds that never stop; that always have an inner monologue rolling along inside their heads. This is so alien to me! No wonder people have difficulty when learning to meditate. Or going to sleep!
They appear but are not solid.
This is the aspect of thoughts that makes the most sense to me. Thoughts are not real. They are suppositions based on knowledge, experience, fear, worry, expectations and hopes. You cannot take thoughts out of your head and put them on the kitchen bench to examine them. Even if I do, kind-of, do that by typing my thoughts, they are still just ideas put onto a computer screen. You cannot hold thoughts in your hands.
There is nothing solid to react to.
So, if they pop out of nowhere and they have no literal existence that you can hold in your hands, why do we get so worked up about some of them? Why do we give them such power over ourselves? Especially the ‘What if” kind of thought?
I’ve been caught in that “What if…” loop no end of times – even with only a subliminal thinking process. My journal has days, weeks, months and even years where I am processing the What Ifs. It’s where many fears are birthed.
I don’t think there are any answers here. It’s just thoughts about thoughts, which can be really confusing. They can be so HEAVY!! Yet they are ephemeral. There is nothing solid to grasp.
Ahhh… Just food for thought. I’m off to flick that off-switch in my subliminal thought processes. See you next week….
A few days ago my town held its monthly market and I had a stall selling my books and doing Oracle card readings. It was super busy and although it was so much fun, the practical side of erecting and then dismantling everything: unpacking and then repacking tents, tables, chairs, stock etc. (especially in the rain) was exhausting.
It took me a couple of days to dry everything out and get back into some sort of physical and emotional balance and today, when I saw the sun was shining I decided to go for a ride on my trusty rusty tricycle.
It was beautiful. There is a path which runs from the end of the street I live on right through some melaleuca and mangrove wetlands and then continues for kilometres along the edge of the Coral Sea. As I cycled through the wetlands there was not another soul to be seen and I couldn’t help but feel my spirits lift and my heart to soar with the beauty of this muddy area. I yelled to the shrubs and trees, at the top of my voice. “Thank you! Thank you for all you do the protect this shoreline from erosion. Thank you for providing places of safety for the creatures that live in your roots, your branches and your leaves.”
As I left that area and moved into the more populated parts of this tiny town I could feel the smile on my face. My smile did not want to leave my face and so I smiled at every person I met and wished them ‘good morning’. And every single person smiled back.
In each of those people, brain chemicals are being released when they smile. These elevate your mood, make you feel good right through your body, and even reduce physical pain. Responding to a smile with a smile is like taking happy pills – and no nasty side-effects!
When we talk of how we need to make changes in the collective lives of humans; how we need to resolve the problems of politics and hunger and illness; when we talk of how we need a more equitable distribution of wealth; of climate change and equality between the sexes, we talk, we yell, we sometimes fight but little actually gets done to make these major changes happen in a form that is stable. We make great forward strides in one area only to discover that something else is falling apart! It’s as if humans are in Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn mode. How do we move away from these responses we currently live within?
Sometimes we have to get right down to basics. And the most uplifting, beautiful, energising yet basic thing that one human can show to another is a smile.
What if we just smile at everyone?
It won’t fix everything, but it is a place to start and it’s an activity that everyone can take part in.
It’s essential for life – and things can definitely get a bit dodgy if we stop doing it for any length of time.
This morning, as I write this, I was reading the comments on a Facebook post about staying calm during times of stress, and of course, I had to add my opinion about how breathwork really helps – if you can remember to focus when you are under stress.
Breathing is a part of the autonomous nervous system just like your digestive system, your liver function, and your beating heart. That means that you don’t have to remember to keep taking a breath because your body is perfectly capable of doing that without you needing to be consciously directing every breath – but it is also the only aspect of the autonomous nervous system that you can consciously control. In fact, it is essential that you are able to take control of your breathing at certain times: for example: when you have your head under water.
When you are dropped into the Fright or Flight Response your breathing can be affected in either way: it can cause you to stop breathing so you don’t drown; or it can speed up your breathing so that your body is well oxygenated ready for your reaction. And this is what happens when someone does or says something that throws you right out of balance – your breathing speeds up, your body gets ready to react without any conscious thought and anything to do with your logical mind goes flying out the window.
All this reminded me of some work I did a few years ago in our local State School. I introduced mindful breathing to the teachers and the kids. It was awesome. The whole school came together in the morning and practiced the Starfish Breathing technique and the teachers also included it at the start of each lesson. It was noticeable how quickly the classroom settled down to their work and if a kid got into trouble, the teacher led them through the technique before asking them what the story was.
It gave them both, teacher and student, a breathing space.
As adults, we talk about taking three deep breaths before we jump in and before we perhaps say something that is not going to go down too well in response to another persons actions or comments. But how often do we remember to do this during that time when we are all worked up? I teach this, yet if something upsets me, I drop into autistic overwhelm and all thoughts of taking three deep breaths fly right out the window.
Three deep breaths. Not only do those breaths introduce a time space to allow sanity to regain its foothold, but it allows your physical self to start to get back into balance before you do something, or say something silly. When you are in the fight or flight response, your breathing increases, your heart races exactly as if you are in danger – and it doesn’t matter if it is your best friend saying something really insulting or if it is a sabre-toothed tiger in the supermarket! Those three deep breaths tell your brain that you are safe. If there really was a sabre-toothed tiger in the supermarket you would not be breathing slowly would you? So, because you are consciously breathing slowly and deeply, your brain knows that everything must be OK, even if your mind hasn’t yet caught up. Same applies to your friend being insulting, or a kid in the classroom playing up. If you can bring your breathing down to a calm, deep rhythm, you have not only given your emotions time to get off the boil, but you have given your mind and your body time to stop, assess the situation and plan your action steps.
Being able to do this when you are under pressure is a bit like playing a musical instrument – you absolutely must put in the practice if you want it to work.
There are certain words I try not to use. I’m not always successful, because sometimes they are exactly the words you need to say. Like when you stub your toe or bang your funny bone: it’s not in the least bit funny and the only word that will suffice has four letters beginning with “F”and is yelled at the top of your voice several times!
I’m 68 and grew up in an era where many women didn’t even know the meaning of such words, and most men would not dream of using them in front of a lady. I recall my parents’ response when I used the word ‘bugger’. I was dragged off to the kitchen and my mouth was washed out with soap and then my dad told me exactly what that word means. It was way too graphic for my young and innocent mind, and some 50-odd years later when that was the key word in an Australian TV advertisement I was still shocked!
Some of the other words I try not to use may seem a lot more innocent on the surface, but to me they are words of deep meaning that have been trivialised by modern society. Words like Love and Hate are pretty obvious. For me, saying something like “I love that song,” or “I love the taste of avocado,” bears absolutely no resemblance to telling your partner, your parents, or your child that you love them.
Hate is another such word. It is a powerful, very low-frequency word yet we use it in such a throw-away manner: “I hate these shoes,” or “I hate the rain.” I prefer to keep such words tucked away out of sight or sound until I really do need to express that. So far I have never found anything that is worthy of such all-encompassing passion.
I’m in the process of getting my fourth book ready for publishing and, not for the first time when I am editing, I’ve recognised my roots in the North of England and Australia. I have a major habit of starting sentences with So, But and And. And when I am talking, my speech is peppered with “Yeah, but”.
It was really interesting to discover that the most negative word in the English language (or so Mr Google tells me) isn’t something like bad swear words, or strong descriptive words like ‘hate’, it’s that simple little three-lettered word we all use all day long… ‘but’.
Yes, the most negative word we have is ‘but’. Almost every time we use it, we are taking something potentially positive and hopeful, and essentially pulling the rug out from under it. For example:
I’m trying to get tickets for such-and-such a show, but they are selling like hot-cakes.
I hope I can fit into that dress, I really love it, but I know I’m probably the wrong body shape.
I really want that promotion at work, but I know that the person in charge doesn’t like me.
We hope for something, we wish for something, we work towards something and then we limit ourselves with that tiny little word: but.
We know that everything is energy, including our words and our thoughts, and we are taught that we should be careful of the words we use that can pull our energy frequency down and undermine our growth. When we think of such things, we tend to think of those harsher words such as ‘hate,’ and the various swear words that are so common nowadays as being the carriers of low-frequency energy… and then we discover that one of the most simple of words is probably doing more to put you in a negative energy than almost any of the swear words we use so freely.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article called “Cycles” where I mentioned that I could feel the rising energy of a return of one of my cycles – one that was set to be a humdinger at the same intensity of what I call my “Initial Spiritual Awakening.” These particular cycles in my life occur at regular intervals and every single time they are dramatic, traumatic, and life-changing. And I wasn’t wrong – it was all these things.
There wasn’t any one thing that tripped me over into a huge meltdown, it was, rather, the combination of a whole heap of intense and emotionally traumatic events that together brought right to the front, all my deep-seated fears.
There was a lot involved: potentially my lease would not be renewed and I’d not have anywhere to go (that is a major insecurity/fear for me); my housemate moving out had left me without transport in a town where there is no public transport, and the full financial load of the rent. And I am waiting for some pretty serious surgery that should help reduce the chronic pain I have lived with for decades. That was just the tip of the iceberg. I was also at a crisis point in my spiritual journey. Did I even want to continue or should I just pull my head in and forget the whole lot. Yes, I got so bad I was planning how to leave this life. This is also a part of this tough cycle, and is never something I would seriously consider – it’s more of a guideline of how much I am struggling.
BUT I had support. My spiritual teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras, was there with me. She lives on the other side of the world to me, but with the awesomeness of technology, she talked with me for hours; sat with me through my tears, and helped me find a path through to the other side. This person who I know primarily as a voice in my head (courtesy of Bluetooth), was my anchor to reality.
The whole thing was over in a few days, and those days felt like years. But, for the first time in decades of these cycles, I had understood that I was heading towards that meltdown, and this was also the first time where I knew that I am autistic – and that these things happen. Autistic people get majorly overwhelmed, but this time I learned that the world will not end even if it feels like it will.
Like many of the hard things in life, when we have a better understanding, we actually are able to draw upon the tools that can help us. This was the first time I have been able to do that. Previously the fallout of such a meltdown could last months, simply because I didn’t know how to clamber out the other side.
Now, a few weeks out the other end of that event, I can look back and see what has transpired, and there is so much abundance. My lease has been renewed and I find that I can afford to have this house just to myself – which is something I have been seeking for a long time. I have so many friends who have come forward with offers to help with transport or anything else I might need. My surgery is scheduled, but not for another year which gives me time to focus on getting into much better health.
I seriously considered not studying any further on my spiritual journey and just staying where I am, but there is a driving force I recognise that tells me that I need to carry on – but perhaps a bit slower and with a change of focus. That is all coming into place.
So why do I tell you all this personal stuff? Because it is good to remember that however dark the world may seem at times, the darkness can be pushed back with light. Light, for me, is represented by Hope, Acceptance, Belief, Compassion, Love; and as I look around myself, in the aftermath of my personal storm, I see all these things, and they are all aspects of Peace.
The hard times are just as important as the easier times. Without them we would not understand just how many blessings we actually hold.
We talk of love making the world go around. We talk of our world being a much better place of peace and understanding if only we could love each other. To these thoughts I agree – but I also disagree.
I’ve been talking with my Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras, about love. She has been contemplating this and has come to the realisation that we humans think that love is an emotion. It’s something we feel. It’s something that we expect to feel in our lives. But, as Essence has realised, love is not an emotion, it’s not just something that we feel in our hearts but rather it is an action. Love is not shown by the rapid beating of our hearts and our sexuality, it is shown in very practical ways – by helping others, by being there for others. It is the the things that we DO for each other that are the true measure of love. Humans right now are mainly focused on the feelings we seek or even evoke rather than focusing on the things we can DO that shows our care and understanding. Love is the hug; the making a phone call and saying Hi, how are you? I’m here if you need to talk. Love is making sure that the car has fuel in it when your partner has a long trip the next day. Love is making sure that the family is fed and has clean clothes. Love is trudging out to a job you hate, so that you know that your family has a roof over their heads and food in the fridge.
Love truly is the source of human life on this planet – but not the overly romanticised emotions that we have come to understand as love, but in the myriad little actions we do each and every day. It’s taken me about 40 years to understand what my first husband meant when I was very upset at what appeared to be a distinct lack of caring from him. I accused him of not loving me or our daughter. He’d not ever bought me flowers. His answer caused me so much anger. He said, “Of course I love you – I do the ironing don’t I?” I was seeking the hearts and roses that commercialism has taught us for decades is how love is shown.
Last year I spent some time in therapy. Emotionally, I have been in a rocky boat for many years and I finally got into a position where I could consult a professional for assistance. I was shocked when her testing showed that I had no understanding of emotions other than fear. How could that be when all I seem to do is burst into tears. I’m filled with emotions. I’m drowning in emotions. Surely that is showing that I know what some emotions at least look like? But no, apparently I have locked down my emotions so very tightly and when I cry it is like a pressure release valve. Without that I am likely to blow like Vesuvius. That is something to be fearful of, for sure! It’s also something I came so very close to doing just yesterday.
Now with Essence’s initial contemplation and my personal follow-through, I am starting to understand that it’s not that I don’t understand that emotion called Love, it’s that we humans have the wrong idea of what love is. To use Essence’s words “Love is not an emotion. It is an action.”
So how did we get here? In the same way that so many people travel nowadays – on the back of consumerism. We truly believe that love is best expressed with displays of sunsets and roses, with unasked-for gifts and intimate dinners.
We all need to take time to evaluate what we think love is and maybe start the journey to a different understanding. You may find that you are very happy with how love expresses itself in your life, but for me, that different understanding has shown me a way to heal many of the hurts in my life.
And all through this ramble, I have only talked of love of others or by others. What about love of Self? We so often forget to show ourselves that love.
Here is a challenge for this week. Find a task that you do every day. An ordinary task like taking a shower or cooking a meal and instead of just doing the task, think of it as an expression of love. Love for you and those around you.
There are many people who tell us that time is a human construct. I absolutely agree – except I am convinced that, just occasionally, Time choses to tease us!
You can pretty much guarantee that when you are working to a deadline, that time will run waaayyyy faster than normal. And sometimes, when life is really boring, and you just want to get to that point in your day when you can sit down, put your feet up and go to sleep, Time plods forward as if it is wearing heavy lead boots.
The times that I find absolutely fascinating are those time-slips that are just too weird to be real. Like the time you hop in the car and you know the journey takes you 40 minutes on a good clear road because you do it every week. You glance at the clock and it tells you it’s 2.00pm and you set off – and arrive at your destination a 2.23pm. WHAT!!! How did that happen? And you worry that maybe you were abducted by aliens and brought back further along the road than you should have been. I know how weird that is. It happens frequently to me. In fact, I even make a game of it now.
Of course, I am absolutely no expert and you may have a much better handle on this than me, but I am pretty sure that ancient humans must have broken up their lives into the seasons, night and day, hungry and not hungry. I’ve heard it said that the most important inventions ever were fire and the wheel. I think that time has been omitted from that list because we never really give a thought to how it came about that someone first conceived of the idea and then invented a way to measure time; and how these really incredibly intelligent ancients managed to work it all out without computers!
The earliest clock ever found was from the 14th century BCE and is attributed to the ancient Egyptians – or the Babylonians. Or maybe the Chinese. It appears that the jury is out, but.. WOW. How much work would it have taken to work everything out and then build a water clock (or mercury in the case of the Chinese) that keeps track of all your maths?
Apparently the Babylonians used a counting system ranged in measurements of 60 which is why we work on a system where the hours are split into divisions of 60 minutes and 60 seconds. And, we are still using that system three and a half thousands years later! So it’s not all that surprising to realise just how much it rules our lives.
The current average lifespan is 29,000 days and as I write this I have lived 25,064 days on this earth which means that the clock is ticking and time is now not only slippery but it appears as if I might be on the home-straight! But this gives me a perspective on time that almost all of us will come across at some point, especially as we get older. Time really is a matter of perspective.
Just think: when you were 5 years old, 5 years represented your entire life. When you were 10 years old, looking back over 5 years represented half your life.
When we get to 50, looking back on the previous 5 years is only a fraction of our time here on Earth and if we get to the ripe old age of 100 years or more, then 5 years is a mere blip! Time definitely does speed up as we get older, especially when we look at how much time has passed in our lives.
When people say that time is ‘just a human construction’, I get the feeling that they are implying that there is something not quite right about how humans observe time. After all, the flora and fauna of this planet seem to get along quite well without observing this. Except they do. They know light and dark, hungry and not hungry, and they observe the seasons. Just like humans did before we invented the three things that made the biggest difference in our future as a species: Fire, the Wheel and Time.
Auri'An's Journey 