Symphony of Sorrowful Songs

I saw a post on Facebook asking people “what kept you alive when nothing seem able to save you”.  That post triggered a memory of me, in my office, not long after my husband had passed on, sitting at the computer, headphones on and the volume really loud so that I didn’t have to listen to, or deal with, any of the crap going on around me. 

Symphony of Sorrowful Songs by Gorecki was one of only two things that kept me on this earth when my husband died.  It starts so softly and gently that you don’t really hear anything for the first 2 minutes, and then it just builds and builds.

I’ve you’ve not listened to this, the title may be enough to make you wonder why, when you are feeling at the absolute bottom of the dung hill would you want to wallow in deep, dark music?  Those who turn to music to help them get through the hard times will understand – the music you listen to can be a reflection of the emotions you have rolling through you when are either unable to fully express those emotions, or have pushed them down so deep that you can’t express them.  It’s like doing mirror work; delving deep knowing that once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. 

When you find that one track and you keep playing it over and over again, you may start to recognise the beauty and grace in the flow of the melody and you find that even though the music almost always brings tears, they are cleansing.  This was my ‘bling’ in one of the dark times of my life.  I literally wallowed in this music for several months.  It became like a drug, and without it I could not exist.  It seemed to be the only thing around me that reflected back the emotions I tried to hide from the world and that often threatened to drown me.

Symphony of Sorrowful songs by Gorecki is like a sunrise over the ocean.  Living in the darkness is not comfortable.  It can be scary, especially when the future is unknown, but like the sunrise, this music guides you through your personal dark nights and shows you a promise of peace.

Sunrise from my garden – Auri’An

As you listen, there is the quiet expectation of the time before the first hint of light becomes visible.  The darkest place.  It’s quiet.  So quiet and deep that you barely register the sound, but bit by bit like the pre-dawn glow of the sunrise, the music starts to infiltrate, it starts to make itself known to your awareness.

It’s heavy, dark, and it feels like a very familiar reflection of the darkness and struggle in your own heart.  But like that sunrise, it keeps coming on in waves that bring the inevitable lifting of the darkness.  As the waves of music swell, for a moment you recognise the emotion that you hold under tight control, so that to others, you show not the sadness that is your constant companion, but rather your hard-won strength, and that even though you may be struggling right now, you will survive this.   It is a recognition of how you get through your day – the heaviness pushed to the background and overlaid with something lighter that allows you to do what you need to do in order to simply exist. 

And still this music climbs, bringing the Energy from your Root Chakra, through Sacral, Solar Plexus and coming up to your Heart Chakra, bringing the promise of eventual Peace.  Your heart rate starts to slow and, as with the sound of the ocean waves, you allow the music to wash over you, relaxing physical tension, washing away the false-front you hold like a shield against the world, and allowing a release of emotion.

Then the sun peaks over the horizon – a moment of stillness, before the Soprano voice joins in and so perfectly expresses what is in your heart, building and building until you feel almost overwhelmed.  The waves of Energy keep climbing and you recognise the cycles that occur in life: the humdrum repetitions that sometimes provide a lifeline; the almost-too intense times when you simply don’t know what to do and you just exist through the tempest; the quieter times where you can pause and take a breath.  These cycles?  They are Life.    The sun is risen.

In writing this, I sat and listened to this music for the first time in years.  Those life cycles have moved on and although there has been much drama, pain and loss, there has also been much joy and love and laughter.  Life has been lived.  I still feel the sunrise in this music and as it builds and grows it takes me to different heights.  I have a different starting-point – I’m no longer in the well of despair and am not listening from the dark depths of grief.  I still feel it in my Heart Chakra, but this is where it starts, not where it grows to.  That promise of peace has been realised and I am now feeling deeper into the emotion of the composer.  I don’t know his story, but this piece was written from the heart.  And it is beautiful.

This is a link to this album. I’d love to hear your thoughts…..

Making Changes

Photo: Oscar Keys – Unsplash

There is a lot of conversation going on about sexual abuse.  It is a topic that has been swept under the carpet for millennia.  There are good men in this world, so I am told, and I personally know quite a few, but men can be considered “good men” and still denigrate women.  Men can abuse, rape, beat and control women and still be considered a “good man” in a world that is still dominated by Patriarchy.

It almost seems ridiculous that women in this 21st Century still need to be careful of what they wear; who cannot walk down the street after dark by themselves; who can’t take a stroll through the park; who have to let people know where they are going and call them when they get there in order to ensure their safety.  We are still in a world where a woman walking down a street during the day has to deal with a minefield of avoidance – catcalls, whistles, comments, men following, walking too close, ‘accidently’ touching inappropriately.  And men thinking it’s OK, women thinking it’s normal – to be expected. Normal. 

We live in a culture where men blame the woman’s choice of clothes for their actions.  Do men really not understand just how pitiful that argument is?  Really?  You guys are so unable to control your Self?  I’m sorry.  That one just doesn’t hold up any more.  And neither do any of the other excuses.

I recently learned of sexual abuse happening very close to home.  A number of women have recently told me of abuse in their lives.  Emotional abuse, sexual abuse, rape.  Even though I haven’t escaped this, it still rocked my world.  I started to talk a little more openly about it with my friends.  I don’t think I have a single woman friend who has not been abused in some manner.  The official figure is that 1 in 3 women is sexually abused.  That figure is a million times too high, but only covers physical sexual abuse. What about the rest? In my corner of the world – a modern First World country – every single woman I know has suffered sexual abuse of some kind.  It’s just not good enough.

So what is happening on an Energetic level?  Why is this coming to the surface right now?  In this case, the Energy is very strong and several of my friends have been affected over the last few months.  I am starting to see many, many more people finding that experiences from their past are re-surfacing.  In some cases it’s experiences of their ancestors’ lives that are being discovered and affecting the the lives of those living today. 

In late 2019 I was told that each individual’s Karma, of a specific Energy, was going to start to come up to be cleared and that it was essential that we started to work on this.  I was told that if we ignored this call it was likely that it would be brought up-front-and-forward and unable to be avoided.  This is one of those things. 

What is this Karmic Imbalance that needs so desperately to be cleared?  I’ve mentioned it before – it’s the 17/8 ATKI.  Atlantean Technology Karmic Imbalance.  This is the Energy that brought down Rome, that is building to bring down the USA.  The Priesthood of Atlantis misused their power.  They appropriated wealth; mis-used technology that could have brought benefit to their society; messed with human DNA…..   does this sound familiar?

So how do we deal with this?  We start with each individual

So many people – especially those who call themselves Lightworkers or Starseeds – fell into the trap in the last year or so, of thinking change could happen by making a lot of noise.  Much Energy was put into the world, under the guise of raising awareness, of recognising the many things that are wrong in our society.  Racism and sexual abuse of all kinds are only two such topics.  Anger and fear grew.  Violence took to the streets. 

Not Ever has violence and war and bloodshed, fear and anger, ever brought Peace to the world.  If these things brought about Peace, Compassion, Love, Understanding and Acceptance we’d have been living in our Golden Age for a long time already. 

Krone Auri’An

This is how change really starts. With the lone voice of a boy – a young man standing up to give a speech at his school. With a new generation quietly and effectively refusing to follow the same path as their older generation. Nothing is going to change whilst the abusive culture is still ‘acceptable,’ ‘normal.’  We need to educate our young people to see that there is a different way.

Will it happen quickly that way? No. It won’t, although we can get thereeventually if we stop making noise and trying to do it all right now.  In this lifetime.

We can get there if we teach our young ones that Respect above all else is important. We can get there if we can understand and work towards a generational change.  There is a reason that many indigenous cultures talk about Seven Generations.  We need to work on this in a way that teaches our young ones what is not acceptable – and what is.

Please watch this speech given by a young man at one of Brisbane’s prestigious private schools. I believe he is someone worth watching. 

This is how we start.

Gy’ Shé em

Krone Auri’An

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Truly Committed?

Photo: Christian Bueher. Unsplash

I feel like I’m stepping out on a slightly different path.  One filled with Possibilities and Probabilities and The Unknown in a whopping huge barrel-load of OMG-What-Have-I-Let-Myself-Into now!

I know what my Sacred Contractual Work is for this lifetime (and beyond) and I also know that I am at the very beginning of that work.  Knowing what your Sacred Contractual Work is, doesn’t mean that you are going to step right into it.  It doesn’t mean that you are actually even going to fully know, or understand, what it will entail.

I’m currently riding through a sort of settling-in period and I have been for a few years.  It’s a time of getting a better handle on what it’s all about.  A learning more about me, where I’ve come from; the choices that I’ve made that have lead me here.  It’s about understanding the world around me from a different perspective,  thinking about the world I would like to inhabit and the knowledge I will need to build that world; to live there and above all how do this work. However it develops. Whenever it develops.  If it develops.  Because I also know that although it may happen in this lifetime – it may just as easily not.  I’m planting seeds.  I’m Trusting that it WILL all work out as it’s meant to.  Even though there is no guarantee.

I’ve spoken before about my Sacred Contractual Work and how, within the Dragon’s Gate in 2016, I was so upset because I’d been so sure that I was ‘going home’ and discovered that I wasn’t.  At that time, even though I was very upset, I made a commitment.  In many ways this was like signing a legal Contract and even though I didn’t actually realise that for a couple of years because I was too wrapped up in being upset about not going home – my Higher Self recognised that this was the right path for me to follow. 

By that time I’d already made two major commitments.  When I talk about MAJOR commitments, I’m talking about making a commitment way beyond what is asked of most people.  We all make commitments – to our partner, to family, to work etc. and those commitments can last all your current life and be very important – or not.  These commitments can come to an end or even be broken.  But my path is asking that I make a deeper, more intense commitment to my work. 

The first was the one that totally changed my life when had what I call my Initial Awakening Experience where I’d spent 3 ½ hours in the middle of the night, sitting in the rain, in the mud, in the middle of a field, literally experiencing that absolute feeling that we all strive for – that feeling of being ONE.  Being Gaia.  Being the AUM of the Universe.  Being the trees, the grass and the wind.  And feeling the pain carried by all on this planet – especially the pain of our Mother, Gaia.  I emerged from that experience with my life forever changed.  I had made a Major Commitment to work to reduce that pain. 

A little less than a year later Essence put out a post asking if anyone recognised themselves as First Wave Blue Ray Indigo.  She was talking about me.  She was talking TO me.  Yes, many people felt that call, but I Knew it was spoken directly to ME.  It was a life-line and a few months later I became one of the admins of that Face Book group and I started my journey with Essence as my teacher.

 As I gradually began to learn and to find my path, I found myself making another Major Commitment.  One to the Work that Essence is here to do.  My belief in that Work is absolute.  My Commitment to aiding with that Work wherever I am able is not something I would ever even consider putting to one side.  Yes, we may at some point travel in different directions, but I believe in the work that Essence is here to do – and believe me there have been many times when I’ve questioned the stuff she comes out with and thought that Essence has really lost it – only to have something come along that proves without a shadow of doubt that this is work is real.

And so, in this lifetime so far, I have made three major commitments.  I have committed to following a spiritual path; to aiding Essence in her Sacred Work and in following my own Sacred Work.  And none of these commitments are mutually exclusive. The commitments were all made at different times, were not always recognised as commitments but they weave together in a way that I only truly started to see and understand in the last 6 months or so.  These commitments are connected, they are an integral part of the tapestry of my reality.  You’ll see the weavings – they are right there if you look.  My work contains threads from Essences work.  I have little doubt that some of my threads are woven into Essences tapestry.  And the same with Ko Ba Ja’s.  These interweavings are what forms the Group Collective Conscious Mind that we Krones work within.

Not everyone will be called upon to make such major commitments.  Very few I suspect.  Such deeper work is not something that everyone, as an individual, is meant to do. And that is fine.  Exactly as it should be.  Perfect.  But we – the Collective Consciousness of Humanity – ARE being asked to explore and understand our Commitment.  And that means that you, as an individual thread forming part of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity, needs to decide on your level of Commitment. 

And why do we need to decide right now?  Just look around you.  Almost everything that you see that is painful and wrong is the result of the Energy of the 17/8 ATKI rising up to be released.  Governments and corporations around the world, making decisions that further their personal agendas rather than for the good of the Collective Consciousness of this planet.  Of Earth herself. Not just humans.  This is the Energy of the 17/8 ATKI.  We’ve talked about this for a few years and now we are getting to see it in action. 

For years we’ve gone with the Love and Light, we’ve sat on our energetic butts and followed what we are being told whether that’s from our law-makers, our teachers or the billboards on the side of bus!  We don’t think of ourselves as sheeple, but we, as a Collective, don’t think FOR ourselves either.  Together.  As a Collective.  We haven’t made that commitment to change anything at a fundamental level.  We’ve blindly accepted that we live in a male-dominated society – even as we tell ourselves that the Divine Feminine is rising.  It’s what we know.  It’s been that way for the last 6,000 years.  We are programmed, genetically imprinted.  And it needs to change.

Now – I’m NOT asking that you go out and join in with the protests that are happening all over this world.  Unless that’s where you are drawn.  I’m NOT asking that you become militant in the need to change things – to my mind, that is a very masculine, traditional way of doing it and is, long term, not likely to succeed in any major way.  Peace has never been the result or aim of violence.   Remember – everything is Energy.  Frequency.  You cannot create a frequency of peace from a frequency of war. And I’m not asking that you put yourself on the front line unless that is where you feel your purpose is. 

What I AM asking, is for you to think about your commitment – to whatever.  Are you really committed to building a better place for our children’s children – as I spoke of in a previous chat – to the 7th generation and beyond.  Or are you happier, more comfortable, just watching everything unfold and maybe discussing stuff with friends or posting on Face Book?

There is no judgement here.  This is Personal, Individual work that we are all being called upon to do in order for the Collective to start to really know its Self.  We need to look at Self with honesty and open-mindedness and not to judge yourself or anyone else if you discover that you don’t hold any major commitments.  To be quite honest, most people won’t.

You are a single thread that forms the tapestry of all humans on this planet and your thread is important.  If you look at any tapestry, you’ll find that there are threads in there that form the big picture – the background, there are threads that form the detail – the 5 dancers. There is no one thread in there that is more important than another.  In weaving, they are the weft.

Now think about the warp of the tapestry.  These are the threads that run up and down the fabric and form the basis that the other threads, the weft, weave through.  On a tightly woven tapestry, you don’t see those warp threads at all – not even if you look at the back of the work – but they are the threads that anchor the whole thing together.  Without these the picture could not be formed.  These are the threads representative of the silent majority.  These are the threads that hold the whole thing together and creates our reality.  These represent those who work within the Power of Silence.  Those many, many people who simply get on with their daily life being the best person they can be.  Silence is a powerful tool.  Potentially the most powerful tool. 

We all have our place and our job.  I am asking that you work out what your part is in this tapestry at this point in linear time.  Are you one of those oh so essential silent majority?  Could you be one of the visible support workers – one of those threads that form the solid background?  Or are you one of those shining, bright threads that jumps out and says “I have information.  I hold knowledge that can bring your reality to a bright place.”

I AM asking that you sit down quietly, jot things down on a notepad, meditate, talk with your Guides and Higher Self – whatever way feels right, and work out what you are most committed to.  It may be that you are most committed to your family.  I suspect that will be right at the top of most people’s commitments.  It may be your work or your health or pretty much anything, but whatever you feel the strongest commitment to, I’d like you to then take the next step.  Ask yourself how important is that commitment to you.  Don’t just think “Oh It’s very important”  I want you to think deeper than that.  I want you to think about how far you will go to protect those you are committed to.  How much work are you willing to do and what kind of work.   How far are you willing to hold that commitment?  Will you do the work you need to do to protect your unborn descendants? 

Once you have worked out your level of Commitment, then you can look at the HOW you can move forward.  What form will that work take to uphold that commitment.  This, my friends, I can’t help you with.  It’s something only YOU can know.  The ‘how’ of it.  This is the bit that is often Spirit guided.  You just need to recognise the guidance and choose to take up the work.

And whatever that commitment level, whatever way you choose to work with that commitment you have the opportunity to be doing your part towards making this reality into a place of peace and beauty.  Think about how your work helps others – maybe, like that warp thread, in a way that is unseen.  For example a school teacher allows a parent to go out to work and earn money that will help the family live in a better way.  A garbage collector is a valuable and active part of maintaining the health of the community.

I made my initial commitment to work towards reducing the pain that is felt on this planet.  I’m not an up-front warrior, my best tools are my mind and my skills with words.  Essence became my teacher to guide me in the deeper knowledge and understanding I need.  She helps me to understand why it’s sometimes necessary to move in what appears to be the wrong direction.  Why sometimes you feel as if you are stagnating.  My commitment to Essence and her work is a part of that initial commitment of mine.  By learning and understanding I can best do the work of helping to reduce the pain of this planet.  And my commitment to my Sacred Contractual Work? – well, that’s just another step in the process. 

Making a major commitment is not something to be undertaken lightly.  It’s not something you can pull on and off like a pair of socks.  It sometimes involves losing friends, family, parts of yourself that you’ve been carrying for eons.  Sometimes (often) it can mean getting out of bed in the middle of the night because you are being called and the other members of your ‘team’ work in a different time zone!  But if you are someone who can make that commitment – well, the world, your world,  doesn’t necessarily become a better place, it can even get to be a bit more difficult, a lot more difficult at times, but when you make that commitment – and uphold it however hard it becomes – then, then you KNOW why you are here.  At least, you get to see some of the picture.

Right now, the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is being tested.  The 17/8 ATKI is a huge challenge that has been brewing for millennia.  This is a long game that won’t be resolved in this lifetime.  How committed are you to doing the Energetic Work we need to do?  Is your Spiritual Journey full and deep, or is it a surface thing.  Are you prepared to do the work even when you know that the results most likely won’t be seen in your lifetime? That this is a long-game.  Remember – I thought I was going home when I went into that Dragon’s Gate in 2016 and I was totally devastated to find out that I wasn’t.  I had been thinking of the short game. The human view of working in this one lifetime.  Once I recognised, understood and accepted that this will not be my only or my last lifetime, once I recognised the long-game, I was able to relax and allow things to unfurl in their own time.  To Trust that it will all be right in the end.  And that if it’s not all right – it’s not the end.

There’s no wrong answer.  No judgement.  You are just being called to recognise as an individual thread of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity, your commitment to humanity, to this planet and especially to your Spiritual Journey through this lifetime reality and beyond.    

Gy’ Shé em

Auri’An

This is a transcription of the message given by Krone Auri’An in the bi-monthly Zoom Chat held by the International Koalition of Krones. You can find the full recording here: https://youtu.be/ONUImq4nPis

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