Broken Families

Things happen in life that are wrong.  Families argue, drift apart or explode in arguments and drama.  It doesn’t matter the reason – the story. What matters is that unless people can come together and talk openly and honestly, the story will not change.  At least, not for the better.

The stories we tell ourselves about our lives and our interactions with other people are simply our perspective, and our perspective will be unbalanced if we don’t have the other side of the story.  The same tale told from another person’s perspective is very likely to be different.  Families are frequently destroyed because people cannot or will not see any perspective other than their own.  And the destruction can span generations.

Unreasonable expectations

I know a person who, was deeply in love and wanted, eventually to marry his girlfriend.  He knew he was too young at 17 and that he had mountains to climb first and so they planned and prepared.  He was a committed, organised person and he knew exactly what he wanted his world to look like, but his parents decided to move to another country and were insistent that the young man abandon all his plans, and his fiancé, and go with them. 

The family argued.  The parents forbade their son to remain in the country where his life was laid out.  He had a place at university, a girlfriend he knew was a soul mate and even the opportunity of work once university was completed.  He didn’t want to give up his planned and hoped for future for the unknown, without his girlfriend, and in a new country.

The parents did everything in their power to make him go with them.  They told all their extended family not to give their son a place to stay.  They thought that without a home he would be forced to accompany them.

The son stood his ground; emancipated himself from his family. 

They didn’t listen – so they couldn’t understand

The parents didn’t take time to listen to why their son wanted to remain and just tried to bull-doze him into complying without ever explaining why.  The son, overwhelmed and distressed by his parents’ apparent disregard for what he wanted to do, walked away from his parents and his brothers and sisters.   Neither party stopped to really talk about what was in their hearts.  None of them truly listened and, as a result, there was little hope of moving forward with love and understanding.  They were each trying to impose their own desires on the other.

The parents eventually grew old and died.  The son too died, and now younger generations are left with a wound that they do not understand because they were not part of the original story. 

This rift started over 50 years ago has now reached down to affect the fourth generation.  This is a Ancestral Karmic Imbalance.  It takes different forms with each generation, but the original Energy is there – and it can be equally destructive. 

It can be righted by simply, and openly, by listening to the story – from every perspective – and then allowing the healing to take place.

Better still, when faced with a question, look at all sides and listen to all the stories. Be prepared to allow that your way may not be the best way or the only way.

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Drifting…

A few days ago, I did some introspective work and came to the conclusion that I am in a waiting zone.  I have arrived at a point in my life that I have been seeking for a very long time.  A time where I can follow my own desire to begin some serious Spiritual study.  But what exactly do I want to study? What in particular do I want to deeply explore? I have no idea.

I’ve actually been in this drifting mode since the start of Covid when I began to move away from social media.  I used to spend hours on Face Book every day – with the International Koalition of Krones, my groups and pages and self-help courses and, as I pulled right back, I also berated myself for abandoning my media presence.  

It was time to sit back and have a good look into why I needed to build a media presence and discovered that constantly sharing things with the public – even in the belief that I was helping others, was nothing more than an addiction, and my Ego.  The work I want to do is for me. For my knowledge and growth – at least, initially. To do this work, I do not need to perform a song-and-dance routine for the world. I need quiet time, and this is my time of quietness.

What to study?  That is the big question.  In my life I have explored many things which have become passions, and almost all of which I have ended up teaching: ballet, fitness, writing, belly dancing, weaving – but I know that this time I need to dig into the knowledge desired by my soul.  I know that part of my soul journey is to gain knowledge and information that I can take forward into other incarnations and not necessarily knowledge that I will teach.  The imperative to begin that learning is strong, yet I am still in this waiting-zone.

Right now I am exploring Taoism – and finding it fascinating.  I am learning Tai Chi.  I’m also reading other great Teachers such as Neville Goddard, Manly P. Hall and Ram Dass but so far the topic that excites me and will guide me into the depth of knowledge I desire to gain, has eluded me. 

I did that introspective digging into Self I mentioned earlier, to gain greater clarity of where I currently am: physically, mentally and emotionally, then I entered into meditation to seek the spiritual depths to this knowledge.  In that meditation, my guides brought this forward.

Sometimes you have to drift with the winds of change.

Pushing against the storm is not productive.

Be aware of the currents.

This message tells me that drifting with the winds of change (and I am definitely within a process of change) is exactly what I need to do right now.  Drift, and I should not allow frustration at being without definite direction to grow, although to be honest, currently, that frustration is very mild, and I’m rather enjoying the drifting process.

This message was also interesting because it reminded me of a very important lesson I had learned 5 years ago when it was essential that I move to a new town and I really didn’t want to.  I fought hard not to go, yet it turned out the be one of the very best things in my life at that time.  Sometimes you need to accept that you might be ready to change the world, but the Universe has to get things ready first.

What am I going to study?  Not a clue yet.  I’ll just keep cruising until it socks me between the eyes and I feel that excitement, that Knowing, that this is where I am meant to dive deep. I know that will happen. At the right time. And in the meantime I am loving discovering the wisdom and knowledge of the ancient (and not so ancient) Teachers that is there for those who wish to discover it.

Thank you for reading. If you found this of interest, please hit Like and don’t forget to Subscribe so that you don’t miss future posts.

Spider

When we see a spider – especially a big one – most of us will jump into freak-out mode.  There is something that just so ALIEN about the spider and all those legs… 

This spider is Florence. She came to live with me for a few weeks in 2019. She’s a Golden Orb Spider and is about the size of a medium saucepan.

I had a visit from Spider a few days ago.  A middle-sized Huntsman spider, about the size of the palm of my hand.  I was using the toilet at the time and she ran up the wall right next to me.  I can tell you, that was a tense moment!

Spider is about creation and right now this is something we, individually and collectively, really need to delve into.  Spider is reminding us that we are – each of us – a single thread in a massive weaving that forms all the Collective Consciousnesses of this planet and beyond.  This massive weaving is formed of the beliefs, the dreams, and the desires, of each part of the weaving.  It is formed from the words, thoughts and actions of people just like you.  You are creating this weaving, and as the Mistress of complicated, intricate weaving, Spider is the perfect animal ally to help us straighten out any knotted threads

Spider builds her web then she sits patiently, either on her web, or just off to the side where she can’t be easily seen, and she waits for her hard work to bring her a reward.  For her, it’s usually dinner, but what is the reward that you seek? 

Working with Spider Energy requires that you look deep into your Self and look at the Reward you most desire.  Look into the dark and scary places, the complicated and knotty places; and the bright and sparkly places and the places of abundance.  Look at what you believe about yourself, about the world around you and at the entire global society that you are a part of.  Look at things you want to achieve, ideas you want to bring to life, and ask yourself – especially if you have held onto these things for a long time yet not done anything about them – are these the rewards I want for the lifetime I am living here?  Do I want something different from my life?  Do I have beliefs that I have been hanging on to – on any subject – even when they appear to be going nowhere?  What do I want to create that will be how I am remembered when my time here is past?

Spider knows how to sit in silence.  How to be patient and give herself time to achieve her goals.  She understands that nothing is achieved if the hard work is not done first. 

She weaves with a tiny, thin, gossamer thread that she makes herself from her body. And she understands intuitively what is the right way to weave her threads together.   She knows that if she takes the right action steps, she can build her web into a solid and strong structure that will allow her to reap her reward.

We humans, also weave with a tiny, thin, gossamer thread of Belief, that we make, not with our bodies, but with our minds.  It is our Beliefs that build the structures we depend upon.  We need to know that the Beliefs are not out-dated, worn away by mis-use or lack of care or attention – because if they are, we will never build our society into a strong and solid structure that will allow us to reap our rewards.

Review what you have done so far and what you believe about YOU and the things you want to achieve.  Look deeply, and see what is the reward you seek in every interaction you have.  Is it Recognition, Praise, Acknowledgement?  Is it to know that you have made a difference?

Whatever it is – Create the life you want to live, but never forget that you must do the work in order to reap the reward.

Focus

How can we justify being focused on spiritual and philosophical pursuits when there is so much pain and suffering in the world?

This is a question asked by my Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras.

I love her questions. They usually come when I’ve just got up in the morning and am still stumbling around trying to sort out my first cup of coffee. I swear, I am not human until after two cups of coffee, so when Essence greets me with questions such as this, it can be a bit of a shock to the system! This question arrived at a more civilised time, so I was able to crank up the brain cells….

This is the lesson I learned when I had my first mental breakdown in the early 1980’s  Life had always been stressful; I was a young mum who was also suffering from PTSD although it was another 20 years before that was diagnosed.  My husband watched the BBC News all day, and the only topic of conversation on the TV station was the various wars, famine, murders, IRA, Cold War and all the other terrors of that era.  It was too much.

At that time there was really only two methods of treating a breakdown – hospitalisation with electric-shock therapy or some really vicious drugs.  Either way, I would not be in a position to look after my baby and seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist was only for rich folk.  I was incredibly lucky in that my doctor was very forward thinking; and he was a neighbour.  What actually happened was that for about a year, he gave up his lunch time for an off-the-books appointment with me.  What he taught me, not only saved my sanity, but probably my life.

He asked me if I was going to physically do something about the world problems that were causing me such distress.  Was I planning to travel to Cambodia to assist the people who were struggling after surviving the Pol Pot regime?  Was I going to actually take food to the places around the world where children were starving?  Could I, personally, do anything about the IRA presence in my home town?

My answer was no.  I had a baby and a family to look after, and I could barely find the energy to leave my own house.

This doctor was the first person to teach me Compassion with Detachment, although he didn’t use those words.  In more recent years, Essence reminded me of this – during the time I was recovering from my 2nd breakdown – and my Dark Night Of The Soul.

He made a recommendation.  He suggested that I think about the world 150 years ago.  It would have been the 1830’s and most people had no idea what was happening in the next village, and certainly no knowledge of what was happening on the other side of the world.  My choice was to actually leave everything I knew and loved and go DO something – take Physical Action Steps – to rectify the world problems as I saw them, or I could focus on my local area, physically and emotionally, where I COULD, actually, do something to help.

This was the place I dwelled for the next 40 years – until Covid. Many people, me included at times, would have considered my choice as hiding my head in the sand. Many would think me very ignorant because I had no idea what was going on in the world. I had no idea who was Prime Minister or even which political party was holding sway. My quiet, small, voice was not going to make a difference, so my worrying myself sick over these things would only result in my being physically, emotionally and mentally even more hurt.

Thich Nhat Hanh summed it up beautifully

I am aware of what is going on in the world, but if I allow it within me, I will become sick.  If I am sick I am of no assistance to others.

Thich Nhat Hanh

What I now know is that my choice was an Energy choice.  I could devote a whole heap of Energy into fields where I had no ability to make a difference – and in the course of that, I would drain myself of any ability to do anything helpful in any arena.  Or I could focus my Energy on where I COULD make a difference.  In my case, it was my local community and my own physical and mental health.

At that time, I was in my Dark Night of the Soul.  Now, today, the entire Collective Consciousness of Humanity is in its Dark Night of the Soul– and we are heading towards a peak in those Energies.

I am now realistic – and, hopefully, wiser.  There are things I can do, and things I can’t.  I, as an individual cannot fix the world any more now than I could in the 1980’s.  But I can work in my local community, I can focus on my spiritual, physical and mental health.  I can, as an individual, stand in the Energy of being aware, of bearing witness, of doing what I AM able to do, where I am able to do it.  I choose not to make lots of public noise on social media, not because I think it’s wrong to make a noise, but because it’s simply not something – at this point in time – that I, as an individual, can do much about. 

We have to grow, we have to come together and we have to be absolutely sure of our Collective way forward.  Right now we are none of those things. 

Right now we are in a cycle that has been repeated for as long as humans hold memory. 

Is this going to be the last time we pass through this cycle?  I don’t know – but I doubt it.

So where do you want to focus your Energy?

Pelican

Pelican came calling a couple of years ago with information for humanity as a whole – and for us as individual aspects of that Collective.  We should be aware that when Pelican comes into our lives, we really need to have a good look at what should be reviewed in our personal life, and in our opinions about what is happening in the world around us. 

Pelican floats along, looking as if it is effortless, but under the water she is working.  Paddling.  It’s not a frantic work.  She looks confident and serene.  When she spots a fish she simply tips in her bill and scoops it up.   In our human world that means working in the NOW for what you want the future to look like, for the abundance you know should be available for everyone, for the Love and Serenity of a peaceful society; but storms do sometimes happen and if you hit those darker patches of water, you can get sucked in, becoming emotionally attached to the darkness that can be projected.  To get out of those darker waters, you need to work hard.   And you need the assistance of family.

Pelican encourages us to go deep into Self.  Often, by looking deeply at what you believe is happening in your world, and at your physical, emotional and spiritual health, you will most likely find that something in your life is out of whack; off kilter.  Something has a sense of ‘wrongness’ about it.

Pelican encourages us to observe with intent, and with patience, so that we can discover a deeper understanding of Self and a knowledge of where balance is needed.  To do this, explore your current life, where you stand in your beliefs, and feel into where in your body – which chakras – the emotions reside.  By being aware this way, you can work out what needs to be reviewed and probably in what manner.  For example, if something you do every day causes you pain in your throat, you can be pretty sure that you need to look deeper.   It may be that something about that task is uncomfortable, but you feel you can’t talk about it. Be aware that this work is not just for you as an individual, although that’s very important, but also for you as an integral part of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity.

Remember – the past is in the past and cannot be changed.  The way to travel forward is together, as family, and we should remember that to maintain unity within family, we need Trust, Dependability, Loyalty, Generosity, Humility and, occasionally, Sacrifice. 

The future you envisage when you look around you, can be achieved for the benefit of all with co-operation and an understanding that we can’t travel alone.  We need a support system.  We need family.

Pelican is about family.  The three that visited me were two adults and a youngster.  Pelican is about social responsibility, teamwork, generosity, friendliness.  With your family around you – and that can be your physical or your spiritual family – there is no need to sacrifice yourself in always helping others.  In always being the one to step up and sort things out.  Allow others to help you out.  To make things easier. 

I had three Pelicans visit with this message.  The Metatronic Numerology I AM Keyword Phrase for the number 3 is: I AM Joyful Creation.

We need to be looking towards creating the future we want with Joy in our hearts.  At the moment there are many people – Starseeds/Lightworkers included – who seem to have forgotten this.  The basic Law of Attraction.  The Energy you put out is what you will get back.  If you focus on the darker side of what is happening in the world, the darker energy is what will be there in abundance.  I’m talking about the fear, the anger, the distrust and confusion.  Even if your intention is good, that focus provides energy to the darker aspect. 

Learn to flip the narrative.  Seek the good.  Create the Joy.   Don’t feed the darkness.   Seek the Balance in doing the work you feel you need to do, but don’t put so much of your Energy into projects that suck you dry.  If the work you are doing is not joyously creative – look at how you can make it so.  And if it cannot be flipped then have a good look at where that heavy Energy is pointing.

When Pelican chooses to fly, she simply releases any fish in her bill and with a bit of a run, up she goes. There is something serene and magical about Pelican skimming over the water and landing with barely a splash to float, seemingly unworried about anything.  We need to emulate her by releasing what weighs us down.

Learn to accept the help of family and other members of your society.  Learn to relax – taking a step back helps you to see the bigger picture.  Release your Ego – this can often be the weight that stops you from working harmoniously with others.  And stops you from flying.

Think about Pelican, when you need to understand when you can safely float along and when you need to review what is holding you down. Especially, when you want to fly!

Cycles and Bridges

WordPress (the host for this site) has raised a challenge for bloggists to incorporate the theme of ‘bridge’ into their work.  @WordPrompt  Here are my thoughts….

When you think of a bridge, most people reading this would think of a structure that gets you over an obstacle such as a river, a train-track or a road.  Me?  I think in terms of Energy – the Energy of our planet and the Collective Consciousness of Humanity.  Specifically, I am thinking of where the Collective is currently standing on that bridge between worlds.  We are at the start of the bridge, right at the beginning of our journey from our Past and into our Future, and every step forward is a new step into whichever future we are choosing.  For those who are wondering what the scenery is like on the other side – who knows?  But we are actually in the process of choosing the future of humanity right now.  That’s what all this upheaval is about.  There are plenty of other people who can go into the whys and wherefores and the politics of totalitarianism and democracy, finance, control and all the other variables that we are feeling our way through – I’ve had my head in the sand for over 40 years and am so not qualified to make a judgement.

But I do know one thing – what we are doing is deciding what the future will look like for our children, and their children.  Every choice and action we take, lays down the groundwork for the future of every Being on this planet, now and for the inconceivably long future.  Are we truly going to be able to bring about a Golden Age of love and respect in a world free of greed?  Or does it appear to you that we are heading right into the dystopian worlds portrayed by the movies we watch?

We’ve had it reasonably cushy in the ‘western’ world for a few decades and we have certain expectations of living which is probably one of the reasons that makes something like a pandemic and a war that will, quite likely, touch us personally in some way, seem so traumatic – even if it’s only in the cost of fuel or the lack of toilet paper.  Yet this era that we are moving into, one of rising costs, civil unrest, pestilence, war, death and destruction, is nothing new.  It is exactly the way the world, or rather, humans, have operated since forever. 

A few days ago, I was talking with my friend and teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras, and we had one of those amazing conversations where we really dug deep into a topic.  I love these conversations.  Essence has a way of ‘tripping’ my mind into making connections I suspect I would never have otherwise made – and once made, understood and agreed that these thoughts hold a lot of Truth, they tend to stick around.  This conversation was about cycles.  Cycles of life of the individual, of the Collective, of our society as a whole.  We discussed the cycles of our planet, our Galaxy, even our Universe.  We went deep.

The result is that we saw that all the things that are happening in the world is not something that is unusual.  What is unusual is that we have had a period before this current time where we developed a different understanding of what is considered normal life.   We got used to easy living; of having plenty; of there being a surplus.  Of expecting, mainly, to die of old age.  We have given a high value to human Life.  But, if you look back through known history, there has always been war and pestilence.  It’s a horrible thought, and something I’d prefer not to think about, but these things are normal for our race. 

Things move in cycles.  We know this.  Most of us only have to look at our own lives to see the repeating patterns.  We work at breaking free of those patterns, of transmuting our darker threads into bright lights.  But what if we are not so special after all, what if we are simply cogs in a wheel of the same-old-same-old cycles going around and around?  What if that dystopian future is part of the pattern?  Think about it. 

Think of the wars in our own living memory and just beyond: WW1 and WW2; Vietnam, Korea, the Boer War, the Crimea, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Iraq, Palestine, Africa….   The list is never-ending.  Now think of ‘pestilences’ – Covid is not so bad compared to smallpox, aids, mumps, polio, the Spanish flu and the one I personally survived – bird flu.  That one had a 68% mortality rate.  As I said – Covid is small-fry next to some of these. 

Expand again and think of all the wars and conflicts you read about in school, that you watch movies about.  Think about the Empires that have risen up and have fallen – Rome, Greece, Mongolia, China, Egypt.  Then go back further into racial memory – Atlantis, Lemuria….  Who knows if there were any civilisations before then?  I don’t, but I would not be surprised to discover that these too were simply part of the cycles of life on this planet.

There is no denying that we are a violent race and right now it’s obvious that in this very uncomfortable time in our history, we are experiencing the long drawn-out death of one ‘empire’ and on the other side of that bridge is another empire waiting to be birthed.

Currently this next ‘Empire’ looks to be anything but comfortable.  It may be that, like our racial memories tell us, not a whole lot of us will survive this transition.  We may have been well-trained to obey and find that life, where everything is controlled, is something that suits us well; we may have to drop a lot further down the spiral before we stand and say, “I don’t want my children’s future to look like this”.

Currently our galaxy is at a point of change in the Precession, and we do have the opportunity to choose which path we will take into the future.  Which bridge to cross, and the potential problem here is that whichever way the Collective chooses, we are going to be there for the next part of the Precession – somewhere around 13,000 years.  We need to choose well. 

The cycle of birth, growth, decay and death is normal.  It’s normal for individuals, Empires, planets and beyond.  What is happening is nothing new.

As Essence summed it up: 

“There’s nothing wrong.  There’s nothing to fix.  This is just the Tao”.

Essence Ka tha’ras

Choices

It is said that we are all Creators. Certainly we are the creators of the life we are living. Whether you perceive your life as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ your choices contributed to where you find yourself today. I’ve made some tough choices in the past and, in retrospect, a lot of them have not been the wise choices. In many ways my life has not been balanced, and that has shown up in the situations I have found myself in, and however much I want to blame others, in the end it comes down to the reality that the choices I made affected the life I live.

The same is true for the Collective. We put people into power around our world who are making their own choices with regards to how we all travel through these difficult times. It doesn’t matter whether you are pro-this or anti-that, we all – as in the vast majority of individuals who are each a single thread in the Collective Consciousness of Humanity – have made choices over the past 50 years, 100 years and longer, that have brought us to this point in linear time. We are responsible for the choices we make. Each choice affects the road we travel into our future, and just as the choices our grandparents and parents made affected the life we came into, so to will our choices affect those who follow after us.

I am currently in a personal period of choice – a choice to remain where I am, getting older, fatter, slower, using past injury and current aches as an excuse not to fully getting my health back on track, and not stimulating my curiosity and mental agility, or I can choose to take a different path.

The easiest choice by far is the first option. For that I need do nothing more than I am currently doing. I will be comfortable and I will probably be reasonably happy. I can sit at my computer, as I am now and type my thoughts into this blog or one of the books I am (very slowly) writing; I can spend time scrolling through social media, watching You Tube and Netflix, talking with friends and volunteering in my local community. It would be a good life. It would also be a life that would bring stagnation and, probably fairly quickly, it would bring about the ending of this part of my journey through this lifetime. Yes, it could take years for my physical death to occur, but my emotional and mental bodies would wither and die a long time before my physical body.

The second choice – a different path – is by far the harder. To find out more about where I might want to go, I needed to dig down into the choices I made in the past that have brought me to this place in life. I had to do this honestly and with a mind open sufficiently to see different ways of looking at those choices. Then I needed to choose whether those past choices are still relevant, and whether I still want to carry them with me.

For example. I have always had a strong need to help other people. At times that need has driven me to make poor choices so far as Self is concerned. That need has been something of paramount importance for the last 60+ years and that made it one of the first things to delve into. One of the things I looked into is “Why is it important to help others?” And for each answer that came to the surface, I had to ask myself, “Is that reason, really the most important thing, and what are the alternatives? What if I choose to help ME for a change?”

In facing each of the various major hang-ups of my past, facing each one and choosing whether to put them into the bag of weighty stuff to carry on my back through this last third of my current existence or whether to discard them with gratitude for the experiences and lessons they gave to me – however painful or restrictive they have been, I have been able to make my choice in how I want to create my future. And it is not by sliding comfortably into my older age.

I have chosen the second path. I believe I have chosen the harder path, but also the one that will bring with it far greater rewards. I am challenging myself with something that is pretty alien for me – doing something purely for me. For me only, and with no thought of using the knowledge and skills gained on this Journey to specifically aid anyone other than me. That concept alone is a mountain to climb.

My new path has, in fact, been in my face for over a year and it is just one thing of many that triggered my need to make a choice going forward – do I follow this and see where it leads or do I stay with what is comfortable with very little room for creativity.

Creating your future by the choices you make now is powerful stuff and is not to be undertaken lightly. And I am a Creator.

Releasing the Old….

Those who travel the Spiritual realms say that “We need to release that which no longer serves”, although in our everyday human life we are more likely to say something like “out with the old, make room for the new” but how many of us actually take the time to understand what those words mean and to actually do something about it? 

I’ve often spoken of how we talk-the-talk but don’t understand the energy of the words we use; of how we have fallen into the habit of parroting phrases that sound good to us, but as with many of these so-called “New Age” phrases, we don’t often take the time to dig deep within ourselves to find out what it actually means, on an energetic level, to do those things. 

So, what is it that no longer serves? What does it mean?  I’ve seen and heard it being used by people when they really mean “Shut up about XYZ.  It’s done.  Get over it!”   And although that’s fairly extreme I also find that it can be used as an excuse similar to when you know that you need to clean the fridge but can’t be bothered just yet.  It’s a very wide-ranging term that is open to an almost infinite range of explanations.   

In the physical world for example, it’s likely to mean sorting out your wardrobe and getting rid of stuff that doesn’t fit any more or it could be the dancing Elvis doll you bought on a whim and is now cluttering up your bookshelf – or, yes, cleaning the fridge!  In your emotional world, it could mean leaving an abusive relationship or walking away from a virulent argument.  It could be leaving behind beliefs and memories that replay in your mind causing you to fall back into self-destructive energy.  And it is this last example that is most important to those of us who are working within the Spiritual realms, because these beliefs and memories have a tendency to cycle around and around simply because we haven’t dealt with them.  They are the very things that pull us down and cause it to be hard to maintain the highest energy frequency we can. 

I, like most other people, have things that have adversely affected me my whole life.  Those who have been following me for a while are probably aware that for most of my life I have stumbled from one drama to another and that over the past few years I have been actively working to deal with the energies of these dramas.  As I have worked through various things, I have come to realise that these are the very things that have gifted me with knowledge and wisdom, caring and the desire to be of assistance to the Collective.  I have been discovering that the dramas of my life are the very things that make me into the person I am becoming. 

Here’s an example.  I used to work in the corporate world.  A large company where I held a National Management position.  I left that world over 15 years ago, yet I still feel the anger, frustration and powerlessness of every Board meeting I attended – where the old-school-mates would leave a box of tissues at my place at the table because they knew that it was so very easy to wind me up until I burst into tears.  That they were tears of anger and frustration at being misunderstood in a predominantly male world, compounded by deep disappointment in self that I reacted that way, was no matter – the game was to make me cry.   

Even though I am no longer that person, and the anger and frustration is long gone, the memory remains.  The belief that I react this way to bullies was so ingrained that I didn’t actually think of it as a belief.  It was just me.  I didn’t even realise that the other people were being bullies.   I actually carried the energy of that memory with me over the years without even realising it, because it was such a part of ME that it had become something I rarely thought of – until I released that energy just the other day within a meditation session.  I had carried one perspective of that situation for all these years – that of the emotions I felt during those horribly embarrassing meetings.  In that meditation, I came to see another perspective where I could understand that although the actual hands-on work as that National Manager was right up my street, as a PTSD sufferer, I was ill-equipped for the aspects that involved confrontation.  The “what no longer served me” that I released was not only the memory pain of being bullied, embarrassed and emotional when pushed, but with it came the realisation that at that time in my life I was in a situation that was beyond me.  I forgave my overwhelming work colleagues and, most importantly, I forgave myself. 

A few weeks ago I, and the other Krones, logged off social media for a break from the energies – for “Spiritual Maintenance.” It was a much-needed time to reset beliefs – to release that which no longer serves and to confirm commitments to the work that we do.  I had a lot of difficulty in getting back to my groups and pages – the energies seemed stagnant.  It was time for a good close look at why.  My page, The Path to Ein Teri Y’h was about a long-held dream that seemed about to move from a dream into reality when covid reared its head and so many dreams fell into dust.  I had given that group a new name, tried to stir the energies back into some form of enthusiasm but it became so very obvious that this was one of those things that no longer served.  And so I released that Facebook group and it is being archived on 31st August, and by doing that I have given myself time.  Time to work on my blog, my podcast, the work of the International Koalition of Krones, my Helping You course and more.

When you release those old, long-held beliefs not only does it give you a feeling of dropping a heavy weight, it gives you room to move, to become creative.  To grow.  It gives you space, physically, emotionally and spiritually, to spread your wings, to learn how to fly in a new world.    

Gy’ Shé em
Flip the heaviness and Shine your Bling

Don’t forget to Like and to Subscribe so that you don’t miss future posts.
Thank you for reading.


The International Koalition of Krones (IKoK) is an international group of Spiritually Awakened Wise Women whose goal is to assist the Collective in it’s continued Spiritual Awakening & Consciousness Expansion Journey during this time on Earth referred to as “The Great Awakening”

The Founder of the IKoK, Essence Ka tha’ras, is, amongst many other things, a Master Metatronic Numerologist. If you wish to explore her work, and the work of the IKoK, there are links below.

There are also You Tube and Soundcloud links to the full IKoK Chats if you wish to know more about the work we do.

Please feel free to share this blog. I only ask that you share it in it’s entirety and not just snippets. You can also share the memes on the following page: Memes and Other Stuff

Controlling Empathy

All my life, for as long as I can remember, I have been overwhelmed.  For most of my life I believed it was because of my upbringing which was in a time when children could be seen, but most definitely were not to be heard.  It was confusing.  Adults and other children around me, made me feel befuddled. They made me fearful; they over-powered me with their very presence, with the noise that they made.  They were too active – too strong and I didn’t understand that it wasn’t their physical voice, or activity, or muscular strength that overpowered me – it was far stranger than that.  Some people could over-power me simply by looking at me and make me devolve into  tear-filled mess.

The noise that humans make hurts me.  Even now – in certain situations.  Not physically, it’s more of a mental disturbance.   It’s hard to describe, and as a child I had no means of reference to say that this pain which hurt my body and this pain which hurt my soul were any different.  I had no guidance to know that it wasn’t always physical noise that hurt.  Now I know that it is the chaotic, jumbled Energy noise that so many people put out, that can hurt so much.

Like many others, I had no-one to guide me, so I learnt avoidance.  I already knew how to disappear into the walls so that I couldn’t be seen but I also learned how to disappear into story books, how to travel to different realms.  My own way to describe it was to “go visit the Elephants”.  Basically I would leave my body and go where I felt safe.  On the open savannah with the elephants.  I would walk in their footsteps.    I have a guide, Emily, who is a big, blue, matriachal elephant.  I even have a painting of her on my wall.  She makes me feel safe.

I learned how not to be there even when my physical body was.  It was the only way I had at that time to control my environment.  When I got a bit older, I used food to control my environment.  I was anorexic.

That tentative control was violently ripped from me one day when I was caught up in riots. Now I understand that it wasn’t just the physical noise and violence of those riots, but the Energy of anger, fear, death; of dominance, destruction and hatred.  That Energy whirled around in a maelstrom of violence that I couldn’t handle.  For over 20 years after that event, I lived in fear of everything outside my front door.  I had zero control of everything that happened outside my front door.  It took that long for me to be diagnosed with PTSD.

Time moved on, I learned how to deal with the panic attacks that happened every day and especially whenever I went into a place where there were lots of people.  My need to escape the pain I felt was so great that I would become violent.  I’ve been thrown out of more that one McDonalds for going to thump someone who was simply talking loudly!

Time moved on, I learned coping strategies and life continued – and was even fulfilling at times.  Then, totally out of the blue, in the midst of a time when other dramas were playing out, I was accused of something I hadn’t done, something I hadn’t even been involved with and I was threatened with jail time.  My world was already very delicately poised, but with this threat it totally collapsed.  This was in August 2014.

In October 2014, I had what I call my Initial Spiritual Awakening Experience.  And in June the following year Essence Ka tha’ras came into my life.    There have been many times when I have stated that she saved my sanity and I am deadly serious about that.  Finally someone was able to explain to me what was happening. 

At 60 years of age I found out about Empathy.  Of course I knew about empathy as opposed to sympathy, but I didn’t know that empathy could also be an amalgam of our senses; a deeper sense. A response to the energies swirling about in the world around us.  I didn’t know that people are empathic in this way of sensing the energies around them.  I found out that I am Empathic – and that every other human on this planet has that ability to some degree or other.  If they are open to it – it’s a matter of sensitivity.  Most importantly, I learned that it overwhelms when you are not in control.  And I, most definitely, was not in control.  I finally discovered that all this pain and noise and overwhelm is because I am very sensitive to the energy of what is around me. 

Essence taught me that I can learn to take control.

That has probably been the most important part of my journey through this lifetime.  You really can’t learn to control how you perceive and receive the energy around you, until you learn about how Energy works and how to work with Energy.  You can’t just flick a switch – you have to learn about it.

The very first thing I needed to learn was how to stop seeing all this Energetic swirling as something to be feared.  Essence taught me that if I could learn to take control, instead of it controlling me, that this knowledge of the energy of the world around me could become my greatest gift for helping others.  I am driven to help others; and this could be an amazing tool but I had to change my mindset, my beliefs.  I’d had 60 years of fear and hiding from something that could be my greatest asset – but it wasn’t something that was going to be learned overnight. 

Essence got the ball rolling, but eventually my guides directed me to attend a weekly meditation circle in the town where I lived.  The people there were lovely.  Committed, helpful, caring – but the Energies they moved in were already too low a frequency for me to feel comfortable in and I wasn’t sufficiently experienced to be able to move through different frequencies without being affected.  I know that sounds like Ego – Hey, my frequency is higher than yours – but that is very definitely not the case.  It was simply that they worked in fields that operated in different frequencies than those I was starting to work in. I went there to learn skills I needed – primarily I needed to learn to trust what I Know.  To trust the Energy I was able to read.  How did I do this, I learned the art of psychometry. 

I was pretty hopeless with reading Energy off personal items such as jewellery, they feel inert to me, but my teacher would put a photograph in an envelope or face-down on the table and I would hover my hand over it, I wouldn’t touch it and I would attempt to ‘read’ the Energy I felt about whatever was in that photo that I couldn’t see.  I had to push myself out of my comfort zone and learn to say what came into my Knowing without doubting and second-guessing it.  Sometimes the things students would come out with when we did these exercises were hilarious or even ridiculous, but no-one ever made anyone else feel stupid.  We were all just having a go and I learned to relax and say whatever popped into my mind.  And surprisingly that information was uncannily accurate.

It was a good class.  Fun.  Great people.  And every single week for about 18 months, I left that class, got home and vomited.  Every single week after attending that class, I would spend hours throwing up. 

Now, to be fair,  I do have a number of food intolerances and vomiting isn’t really unusual for me when I eat certain natural food chemicals and so, week after week I thought it was something I was eating.  Until I was invited to visit the local Spiritual Church. 

I went into that church and immediately felt that really familiar draining of my Energy that I describe as ‘pain’.  This was a place of very low frequency and I was in a position of starting to be able to recognise and understand it.  When I had to rush out of that church in order to vomit, I knew exactly why I had been throwing up for the previous 18 months.  However lovely the people were in the class I had been attending, the Energy they were working in was too low for the frequencies I was learning to move within and when I mentioned this with my psychometry teacher, she confirmed that she too had recognised that I would soon be leaving to follow my own path.  This is a good way of understanding that you really can’t separate the physical from the spiritual.

During most of this time, I had lived in an apartment building with the most horrible, swirling, chaotic energy.  Next door was an even bigger apartment building that held energies that were even more intense.  It came to a point, when I had to move out.  I was the fourth successive manager of that building to have had a mental breakdown.  That’s how bad the Energy was there.  I amicably separated from my husband and moved to a town several hours away, but on the 1st January 2018 I found myself back in that building after getting a call for help in running the resort.  

Despite already having several years of learning to recognise and understand how to read the Energy and, at a basic level, how to work with it, I found myself just 8 days later, on the beach seeking a passive way to leave this life.  That’s how badly I was being affected by that energy of those buildings in just 8 short days.  I went into meditation and beseeched the Universe to either take me or to show me how to bring balance into my life. 

Balance is what I got.  I fell off the sea wall.  I had to be rescued by the fire service; had two stays in hospital and 4 1/2 hours of surgery pinning my leg back together.  When I came out of hospital I had to go back to that place of swirling, painful energy which had only become worse.  I had to spend 9 weeks in bed with my leg stuck in the air.  And I had to recognise that Energy and not allow it to take control of me once again.  I had to learn to choose how I worked with it. 

During those 9 weeks I was severely tested.  I don’t need to go into the details, but it was bad; it was hard.  And it was here that I came to understand that me being in control of the way I perceive and work with the energies around me, or of allowing these energies to control me as they had whilst I was younger was all about choice.  Choice and discernment.  I had the ability to choose how I saw, felt and reacted to the energies around me and in order to make that choice I had to be able to discern what was beneficial and what was not.   And believe me, not only then but in the three years since that accident, I have been severely challenged. 

Does this mean that I am now fully in control of my Empathic abilities.  Nope.  I think I will be learning and growing in this area for a long time yet.  What has happened is that I am learning to use that energy in the way that Essence told me I would be able to do.  I now view this ability as the true gift it is.  I use it to see my world as it is and not so much as it is presented.  I use it when I have a client – either for Reiki or drum healing or as a counsellor.  I use it within meditation for the benefit of the entire collective – and it’s impossible not to work with energy when working with Essence. 

One of the first things she taught me is that Everything is Energy, Frequency, Vibration.  It took me a while to get a really good handle on understanding that – but I think I’m pretty much getting there! 

Thank you.  Thank you for listening.  I hope the sharing of my journey helps you to better understand your journey and not to be overwhelmed by the fears of uncontrolled empathy.

Gy’ Shé em
Flip the heaviness and Shine your Bling

Don’t forget to Like and to Subscribe so that you don’t miss future posts.
Thank you for reading.


The International Koalition of Krones (IKoK) is an international group of Spiritually Awakened Wise Women whose goal is to assist the Collective in it’s continued Spiritual Awakening & Consciousness Expansion Journey during this time on Earth referred to as “The Great Awakening”

The Founder of the IKoK, Essence Ka tha’ras, is, amongst many other things, a Master Metatronic Numerologist. If you wish to explore her work, and the work of the IKoK, there are links below.

There are also You Tube and Soundcloud links to the full IKoK Chat if you wish to know more about the work we do.

Please feel free to share this blog. I only ask that you share it in it’s entirety and not just snippets. You can also share the memes on the following page: Memes and Other Stuff

Autumn

Yesterday was my 66th birthday. 

Today, I woke very early, 3.00am and spoke for a couple of hours with close Facebook friends.   Sisters in Spirit.   I came away from that conversation with a feeling of being re-directed.  Or rather, of recognition of a re-direction that was already in place.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

This is my time of stepping into the Autumn of my life.  I feel the shift.  I feel it as a physical thing as I write this – a not-quite dizziness, a side stepping within the realms of the dimensions I normally travel in.  As if I am holding my breath.  There is a feeling of clarity that is overlaid with wonder and excitement – and not a little trepidation.  This moving into the Autumn of my life involves a shedding.

As trees shed their leaves, I have been shedding mine – although it wasn’t really clear until this chat with my Facebook sisters.  Dreams have changed into so much smoke and have drifted away on the crazy-making winds of Covid-induced fear.  Plans that were ripe for exploring and bringing into the world have sunk back into the ground.  Those explorations of things that were going to make a real difference in this world, feels very much as if they will never materialise again in my current lifetime.  Yet they still may.  I am not yet prepared to fully shed my dreams.  I hold hope in my heart for humanity.

I have friends who are also finding that they need to make changes and although I doubt they will ever leave my life, distance is coming into play.  A moving away as a leaf moves away on the wind of change.  Anchors in social media are becoming full of holes as the travel directions of gifted knowledge are ignored by those who are seeking their way, but not noticing the signposts. 

Moving into this third season of my life is a physical thing.  And a spiritual thing.  You really cannot separate them.  Physically, I am leaving behind the zest and energy of the spring and the summer.  There is a physical slowing down.  Spiritually, there is a pause.  A waiting time.  This is, perhaps, the greatest shift. 

I have been spending untold Energy in trying to help many people, utilising tools such as social media; bashing my head against so many pairs of closed ears and eyes.  Talking, teaching of certain things, only to find that those who appeared to be listening were not.  And then hearing the words echoed back at a later time with the warped twist of Chinese Whispers and displayed as something new.

Autumn is a season of changes.  A time of preparation and the start of the slowing down for that time of rest known as Winter.  I feel it will be a long Autumn in the seasons of my life and I can see where the refocusing is going to lie.  At least, for now.  My interest in creativity is very strong.  The potential of weaving a dream into reality is being redirected into the creation of weaving rag rugs.  The foundation of a future I wanted to build is being re-directed into an exploration of the joys and complexities of polymer clay!  This shedding doesn’t mean the end, just a re-shaping, a pulling-back into a smaller world. 

Time to stop worrying about the rest of the world.  About the Neophytes who think they are Masters and the harm they can bring about in their unknowingly feeding Energy into the very things they believe they are fighting.  The Collective Consciousness of Humanity will decide it’s own future.  I am but one small thread, a whisper in a crowd that is yelling “Me, me, me.”

It’s going to be interesting to see where this Autumn of shedding leaves will take me.  But one thing is True…   I AM Krone.  I share my thoughts – it’s up to you if you listen. 

The International Koalition of Krones (IKoK) is an international group of Spiritually Awakened Wise Women whose goal is to assist the Collective in it’s continued Spiritual Awakening & Consciousness Expansion Journey during this time on Earth referred to as “The Great Awakening”

Please feel free to share this blog. I only ask that you share it in it’s entirety and not just snippets. You can also share the memes on the following page: Memes and Other Stuff

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