Broken Families

Things happen in life that are wrong.  Families argue, drift apart or explode in arguments and drama.  It doesn’t matter the reason – the story. What matters is that unless people can come together and talk openly and honestly, the story will not change.  At least, not for the better.

The stories we tell ourselves about our lives and our interactions with other people are simply our perspective, and our perspective will be unbalanced if we don’t have the other side of the story.  The same tale told from another person’s perspective is very likely to be different.  Families are frequently destroyed because people cannot or will not see any perspective other than their own.  And the destruction can span generations.

Unreasonable expectations

I know a person who, was deeply in love and wanted, eventually to marry his girlfriend.  He knew he was too young at 17 and that he had mountains to climb first and so they planned and prepared.  He was a committed, organised person and he knew exactly what he wanted his world to look like, but his parents decided to move to another country and were insistent that the young man abandon all his plans, and his fiancé, and go with them. 

The family argued.  The parents forbade their son to remain in the country where his life was laid out.  He had a place at university, a girlfriend he knew was a soul mate and even the opportunity of work once university was completed.  He didn’t want to give up his planned and hoped for future for the unknown, without his girlfriend, and in a new country.

The parents did everything in their power to make him go with them.  They told all their extended family not to give their son a place to stay.  They thought that without a home he would be forced to accompany them.

The son stood his ground; emancipated himself from his family. 

They didn’t listen – so they couldn’t understand

The parents didn’t take time to listen to why their son wanted to remain and just tried to bull-doze him into complying without ever explaining why.  The son, overwhelmed and distressed by his parents’ apparent disregard for what he wanted to do, walked away from his parents and his brothers and sisters.   Neither party stopped to really talk about what was in their hearts.  None of them truly listened and, as a result, there was little hope of moving forward with love and understanding.  They were each trying to impose their own desires on the other.

The parents eventually grew old and died.  The son too died, and now younger generations are left with a wound that they do not understand because they were not part of the original story. 

This rift started over 50 years ago has now reached down to affect the fourth generation.  This is a Ancestral Karmic Imbalance.  It takes different forms with each generation, but the original Energy is there – and it can be equally destructive. 

It can be righted by simply, and openly, by listening to the story – from every perspective – and then allowing the healing to take place.

Better still, when faced with a question, look at all sides and listen to all the stories. Be prepared to allow that your way may not be the best way or the only way.

Truth – Who’s Right?

Truth is relative. It depends on where you are looking from and in today’s society it’s almost impossible to understand what is truth and what has been manipulated. It’s made even harder by so much that is fabrication, containing just enough truth to make it plausible, to even suck people in and send them chasing down into a rabbit-hole of addictive illusion.

I recently hosted an open mic discussion at one of the world’s top 10 UFO Festivals and one of the things we explored was Truth. We discussed how people on the right side of the room would have a different perspective/view/truth to those on the left, – not only because of the physical perspective of where they are in the room, but because what was being said was being filtered through their human Self – those beliefs and experiences that they each held. It was an interesting conversation, especially as the main topic was people’s experiences with UFOs and we all know that this topic brings a whole gamut of thoughts, emotions and beliefs.

Today, I was looking through a book of short stories I am slowly writing (very slowly, been at it for a few years on and off!) and found this tale. I hope you enjoy it – a light-hearted look at the perspective of truth.

Once upon  time there was a beautiful princess (Maddy) who met her prince (Fred) in the way that fairy tales often portray – she was captured by a wicked witch and held to ransom but was eventually rescued by her prince and woken with a kiss.  You all know the story.  If you were anything like me you probably grew up on such tales. But fairy tales usually stop there – with the princess and prince falling in love, marrying and living happily ever after.

Or so these tales would have us believe.  And just what is “happily ever after” in the grand scheme of things, anyway?

The reality is that the princess and the prince are human.  They live human lives – although one can imagine them being quite comfortably off and not having to deal too much with how to pay the electricity bill, they will still get annoyed with each other, have arguments about how many hours the prince is spending riding around the countryside imbibing at all the hostelries and then saying the wrong thing when the princess asks if she’s getting fat. 

Anyway, our two were having a ding-dong and both of them believed they were right.  It was the fight of a life-time and was starting to affect how the kingdom was being run, so they decided to call in the court counsellor to sort out who was telling the Truth.

Basically Maddy was complaining that Fred never listened to her and Fred was complaining that she never shut up.

Fred obviously wasn’t deaf because he knew that Maddy was always going-on at him.  Maddy felt she had to keep on repeating the same-old, same-old stuff because Fred never answered her.  I’m sure that 98% of married people in our current reality can relate to this. 

The counsellor listened to both sides of the story.  First with Fred and then with Maddy.  Then she listened to both of them together, and a week later the whole Court gathered in the ballroom to hear who was telling the truth.  Of course, it’s really obvious to everyone who isn’t personally involved – they are both telling the truth.  As they see it.

Truth is tricky like that.  The opposite of truth is a lie and neither Maddy nor Fred were lying.  Fred really didn’t hear what Maddy was saying because he’d close down his hearing as soon as he heard a certain frequency to Maddy’s voice.  And Maddy really did keep going on and on and on because she wanted reassurance that she was still important to Fred.  There really isn’t two sides to this story, rather, there’s two different versions of the truth – except both Fred and Maddy were too involved to realise they were actually both on the same side!!!

Some truths simply ARE.  You just have to step back and take a more open look at the situation.

Back in the ballroom, the fairy counsellor (because, of course, this is a fairy tale so it has to have a fairy in it and both Fred and Maddy feel too old to have fairy godmothers anymore) lay down her decision.

Both Maddy and Fred are telling the truth but obviously there is conflict.  Therefore, she decreed, for 23 hours a day Maddy would be unable to say anything to Fred more than once.  And Fred would not be able to close off his hearing until after that one thing was spoken.  Maddy could know that she has passed the information to Fred and that he heard it.  If he failed to act upon that information and ended up missing an important function or wore the wrong clothes – that would be his fault and his alone and he’d have to deal with any fall-out like a grown up human being.  And just to keep things in balance, if either of them ignored the other for no good reason they would both grow donkey ears!

And for that one hour every day that this spell didn’t apply, the only words they could say to each other were “I Love You”. 

And once a week Maddy and Fred were to meet with the fairy counsellor to discuss who had the truth of the matter.  Once they had worked out the answer (that it’s possible to both be right whilst both being very wrong); when Maddy no longer felt the need to nag because Fred didn’t listen to her; when Fred actually listened to what Maddy said and understood the value of someone caring so much that they wanted him to have the best information he could to get through his day without embarrassment and when Maddy understood that Fred didn’t need micro-managing as if he were one of their many children, the ‘punishment’ would cease.

Of course, it took a while until Maddy and Fred worked things out and during that time the court had a whale of a time watching the pair walking around with donkey ears!

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