I’m no expert, but it seems to me that in times of war you have to stop and review what’s been going on, what you believe will happen, what you want to see happen and what is likely to actually happen. This is what I have been doing over the last few weeks.
I’m not a regular writer in this blog. I have a tendency to do my other stuff until something happens and I just have to write about it – and if that need to write gets as far as actually publishing, well that is just awesome! I had intended to become a tad more disciplined this year – at least I had until the Universe stepped in with other plans.
So far it’s been a year of drama. And really? I’ve had quite enough drama in my life to be quite happily bored for a time. We know that there is massive amounts of drama in the world but I’m talking personal drama on top of all that Covid crap. It’s been full on and has felt like a major war with massive salvos being shot across my equanimity.
It should have been no surprise. I’d had plenty of warning from my Spiritual Sister and Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras. I knew that the Collective Consciousness of Humanity was heading towards a Collective Dark Night of the Soul and that it won’t peak at its worst point until September 2022. I also know (because I work closely with her and have seen her predictions come into reality so many times that any doubt just doesn’t exist) that this is only the first stage of that DNOTS and that things are likely to get a whole lot rockier.
So what on Earth made me think that I would escape? Was it because I have just come out of my own DNOTS? It took me over 5 years to pull that one off, so I have all the experience in the world about working and living in that place. I definitely thought I could use that to help others as they fall into their own personal dark place. Could I possibly have thought that I was immune because during my DNOTS I also studied and gained my skills and qualifications as an Holistic Counsellor?
Who knows? What I do know is that in thinking I could avoid this I had donned my own face mask – right over my eyes. I recognised this. This was the work of Ego.
Ego is super-sneaky. Ego leads you to believe that you are helping to sort out the problems of Self and/or the world. Ego makes you think you are bullet-proof and, believe me, that doesn’t help one little bit when trying to survive in our current society.
It’s not really surprising that Ego has shown up for me as a micro aspect of the macro (the Collective Consciousness of Humanity). Ego is currently having a field-day with our world leaders. And not just the leaders of our society. You only have to turn on the TV to see it glowing in the faces of many people as they scream and yell and destroy all the while thinking that this violence is going to change things for the better. Idiots.
What they are doing is giving Ego a bigger platform in their lives. They are making it all about Me Me Me whilst believing that it is about Us Us Us. And the arena that it is most easily seen is in that of what is rapidly becoming one of the worlds fastest growing religions – yes a religion, complete with warped dogma – the so-called New Age Belief System. But I digress. I’ll talk about that one on another blog.
So. In my personal war I have spent time reviewing. I have spent time looking into the darkest aspects of me and my ego. I have been doing Shadow Work. We, the IKoK – International Koalition of Krones – have been saying for a while that the Collective will have to do this Shadow Work. That if they don’t they will be forced into it by circumstance. I learn by experience and I am having my personal experience of being made to look deeply through all the drama in my life in a way I just can’t avoid.
And all I can say right now is that if the entire Collective Consciousness of Humanity has to do the same, has to dig as deep as I have, has to face its fears and its demons, it’s going to be messy. But I also want to hold up a ray of light. Only a few days ago I believed I was falling deeply into that dark well of despair that I know so well having lived in it for many years, but I am still here. Occasionally teetering on the edge for sure but all that experience and study and training has held me in good stead. I recognised what was happening and I chose to survive. I chose to survive because I believe, so very strongly, that I can help. Even if it is only with one person. I can help that one person make a difference in their life.
And that isn’t ego. It’s Krone Wisdom. The wisdom that is grown out of knowledge and experience and shared with all who seek it and respect it.
Words contain Power. Power that is beyond anything that you might realise. At least, not without thinking deeply about the words that you use, and the words that others use around you. How they affect you – and how they affect those others that you speak with – or to.
There. Straight away, there, is an good example of what I mean. I said, “The others that you speak with or to.” Have a think about it. When you bump into someone and have a chat, then you mention that chat to another person or just review it in your mind later on, how do you describe that conversation? I could say, “I spoke with Essence yesterday” or I could say “I spoke to Essence yesterday.” Just have a think of the difference that is made by that tiny, often unthinking choice of words. You may not even have noticed the difference.
When I speak WITH Essence – we are talking pretty much on an equal footing, we are engaging each other in conversation.
Yet in this scenario, when I speak TO Essence – I would be not only taking control of the conversation – I would be taking Energy away from her because there is an inference that I am talking down to her in some way. Diminishing her. Of course, I never would consider myself in any way superior to Essence (she is my teacher, my mentor, my Spiritual Sister and, above all, my friend), but that diminishing of the Self of the person you are talking TO is a big potential for harm.
Think about it. If one of your co-workers was speaking TO you in this manner, always talking TO you and not WITH you, it wouldn’t take long before you would feel really disempowered, and if it kept on, you would end up feeling fearful, bullied. You’d loose the Joy in your work.
Now, I must say that CONTEXT also plays a big role in this. For example, Essence does talk TO me occasionally. She is my teacher, and she occasionally kicks my butt when I get too big for my britches, or I’m being particularly dense about something. She does this because I asked her to. I asked her to haul me back when I wander off track. Teacher to Student. It’s not a power-play, it’s a lesson that is given respectfully; I know the context and the Energy of the conversation and I am not being disempowered in anyway. With Essence, it’s quite the opposite. She doesn’t cause me Energetic Harm.
And this is what I want to talk about.
I’ve been living in a situation where the words that a neighbour uses has caused me Energetic Harm. It was not done on purpose, nothing at all was meant to diminish me or even make me feel uncomfortable, but after several months I reached the point where my Energy was seeping out of me like someone had turned on the tap. I was feeling drained.
My neighbour is a lovely person. A great person who would give everything she has, to help another person in need. She doesn’t have much herself, but I’ve seen her in action. She is a good person. She’s not on a conscious spiritual path – but she lives the best life she can. Except for her speech.
She’s a naturally vocal person and I am not. Loud noises are a trigger for my PTSD and she has a super loud voice. She spends a lot of time on her balcony, on the phone to various friends and I cannot help but hear her private conversations. I don’t want to but her voice carries as clear as if she is standing next to me so I constantly feel as if I am intruding. And it’s not just the volume of her voice, it’s the cadence – she mainly sounds angry. Even when she’s not, the cadence is as if she is arguing with someone, or being defensive. And every 2nd word begins, probably with very little realisation, with an F.
Have I said something to her? Have I communicated how I feel about this? Not really, not in plain language because she has the right to be who she is. I am the one who is sensitive to loud noise. I am the one who doesn’t want to hear another person’s life laid out on the table for all to listen to. I am the one who feels battered by the constant swearing and who reads into her syntax and cadence the energy of anger and discord. She is just a person who communicates in a certain way and doesn’t realise that from my perspective it feels like I’m being bludgeoned.
The reason I am sharing this is because I wanted to highlight how we can have an effect on others without realising it simply by the way we use the power of our voice and the words we use.
And words carry Energy.
Yes, we all know. This is a bit of a soap-box issue for me – I’ve written in my blog a few times on this topic, Way back in June I spoke on an IKoK Chat about it and I’ve given a few lectures on how you can shoot yourself in the foot by the words that you use, but each time I have been talking about you – about how your language use affects YOU. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken on how your language use, the way that you communicate, can affect others. But now I’d like you to think about exactly that.
We live in a world that depends upon communication, and as anyone who is aware of the Energy of such things will know, the vast majority of that communication at the moment is fear based. And right now, when it has become so tricky to know if what you are being told is true, or not, it becomes even more essential to be discerning about who you talk with, or even to, And who you listen to.
Making it even harder is the fact that so much mis-information carries a basis of truth – but a truth that has been twisted, embroidered, expanded until it bears little resemblance to the initial truth. That kernel of truth running through that misleads good hearted people into falling down the rabbit hole into anger and fear and despair. This is the communication that the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is dealing with. This is the communication style that has brought us to such a low point in this reality.
We talk, we use words, we communicate about coming together as One. As working for the benefit of all. And we use words, and syntax and cadence that says something entirely different. The microcosm – my neighbour, a good soul who works to aid people yet still, in certain circumstance and unknowingly, causes Energetic Harm. The macrocosm – Face Book, News media, the person you bumped into in the street. And possibly, probably, you or me.
So what can we do about it?
Previously, I’ve shared information about what to do so that your speech doesn’t affect your Energy and really, this is pretty much the same but with a focus on how your speech patterns affect others.
I’d recommend first listening to yourself. Record yourself on your phone and see what comes up. Do you talk with others or do you talk to others? Does that change depending on the context? Do you encourage conversation that brings everyone in on an even level? Do you listen respectfully when someone says something you disagree with or do you try to show them that your knowledge is better? Do you interrupt a whole lot? This is mirror work that we must all do – and not just once. It’s an ongoing process. Clear Communication is the base work of the Conscious Evolution of Humanity.
I’ve been doing this mirror work and I’ve discovered that some of my habits could be construed as annoying to others. I have a tendency to laugh in phone conversations but by doing this Mirror work, by LISTENING to myself, I’ve realised that that laughter is something I started to do many years ago to cover up my fears. It happens with any phone conversation I have with any person, and it happens because a valuable form of information is removed for me – basically I can’t read face and body expressions which is something I learned as a very small child in order to be able to work out if a situation is fearful or not. Those situations no longer apply but the cover-up laughter still remains. It’s something I can now work on. The mirror work is on self, but with the intention of bringing a new level of open communication with everyone around me.
I am a single thread in the weaving of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity. If I can improve my communication skills by being aware of the effects on others of my word choices and the way I deliver my message, I can have an affect on all other threads in that weaving.
If we can each learn to communicate and interact with each other in a way that is more considered, respectful and less likely to cause Energetic Harm, we will be taking a step forward on the road of the Controlled Conscious Evolution of our Collective.
DID YOU KNOW: People living in areas with high levels of daytime noise had a 36% higher risk of being diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, and a 30% increased risk of Alzheimer’s disease than those living in quieter neighbourhoods.
This blog is from the International Koalition of Krones Bi-monthly Chat of 23rd October 2020. You can watch the full chat at: https://youtu.be/daflEFbrP-w and also have the opportunity to take part in an amazing and powerful meditation.
I feel like I’m stepping out on a slightly different path. One filled with Possibilities and Probabilities and The Unknown in a whopping huge barrel-load of OMG-What-Have-I-Let-Myself-Into now!
I know what my Sacred Contractual Work is for this lifetime (and beyond) and I also know that I am at the very beginning of that work. Knowing what your Sacred Contractual Work is, doesn’t mean that you are going to step right into it. It doesn’t mean that you are actually even going to fully know, or understand, what it will entail.
I’m currently riding through a sort of settling-in period and I have been for a few years. It’s a time of getting a better handle on what it’s all about. A learning more about me, where I’ve come from; the choices that I’ve made that have lead me here. It’s about understanding the world around me from a different perspective, thinking about the world I would like to inhabit and the knowledge I will need to build that world; to live there and above all how do this work. However it develops. Whenever it develops. If it develops. Because I also know that although it may happen in this lifetime – it may just as easily not. I’m planting seeds. I’m Trusting that it WILL all work out as it’s meant to. Even though there is no guarantee.
I’ve spoken before about my Sacred Contractual Work and how, within the Dragon’s Gate in 2016, I was so upset because I’d been so sure that I was ‘going home’ and discovered that I wasn’t. At that time, even though I was very upset, I made a commitment. In many ways this was like signing a legal Contract and even though I didn’t actually realise that for a couple of years because I was too wrapped up in being upset about not going home – my Higher Self recognised that this was the right path for me to follow.
By that time I’d already made two major commitments. When I talk about MAJOR commitments, I’m talking about making a commitment way beyond what is asked of most people. We all make commitments – to our partner, to family, to work etc. and those commitments can last all your current life and be very important – or not. These commitments can come to an end or even be broken. But my path is asking that I make a deeper, more intense commitment to my work.
The first was the one that totally changed my life when had what I call my Initial Awakening Experience where I’d spent 3 ½ hours in the middle of the night, sitting in the rain, in the mud, in the middle of a field, literally experiencing that absolute feeling that we all strive for – that feeling of being ONE. Being Gaia. Being the AUM of the Universe. Being the trees, the grass and the wind. And feeling the pain carried by all on this planet – especially the pain of our Mother, Gaia. I emerged from that experience with my life forever changed. I had made a Major Commitment to work to reduce that pain.
A little less than a year later Essence put out a post asking if anyone recognised themselves as First Wave Blue Ray Indigo. She was talking about me. She was talking TO me. Yes, many people felt that call, but I Knew it was spoken directly to ME. It was a life-line and a few months later I became one of the admins of that Face Book group and I started my journey with Essence as my teacher.
As I gradually began to learn and to find my path, I found myself making another Major Commitment. One to the Work that Essence is here to do. My belief in that Work is absolute. My Commitment to aiding with that Work wherever I am able is not something I would ever even consider putting to one side. Yes, we may at some point travel in different directions, but I believe in the work that Essence is here to do – and believe me there have been many times when I’ve questioned the stuff she comes out with and thought that Essence has really lost it – only to have something come along that proves without a shadow of doubt that this is work is real.
And so, in this lifetime so far, I have made three major commitments. I have committed to following a spiritual path; to aiding Essence in her Sacred Work and in following my own Sacred Work. And none of these commitments are mutually exclusive. The commitments were all made at different times, were not always recognised as commitments but they weave together in a way that I only truly started to see and understand in the last 6 months or so. These commitments are connected, they are an integral part of the tapestry of my reality. You’ll see the weavings – they are right there if you look. My work contains threads from Essences work. I have little doubt that some of my threads are woven into Essences tapestry. And the same with Ko Ba Ja’s. These interweavings are what forms the Group Collective Conscious Mind that we Krones work within.
Not everyone will be called upon to make such major commitments. Very few I suspect. Such deeper work is not something that everyone, as an individual, is meant to do. And that is fine. Exactly as it should be. Perfect. But we – the Collective Consciousness of Humanity – ARE being asked to explore and understand our Commitment. And that means that you, as an individual thread forming part of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity, needs to decide on your level of Commitment.
And why do we need to decide right now? Just look around you. Almost everything that you see that is painful and wrong is the result of the Energy of the 17/8 ATKI rising up to be released. Governments and corporations around the world, making decisions that further their personal agendas rather than for the good of the Collective Consciousness of this planet. Of Earth herself. Not just humans. This is the Energy of the 17/8 ATKI. We’ve talked about this for a few years and now we are getting to see it in action.
For years we’ve gone with the Love and Light, we’ve sat on our energetic butts and followed what we are being told whether that’s from our law-makers, our teachers or the billboards on the side of bus! We don’t think of ourselves as sheeple, but we, as a Collective, don’t think FOR ourselves either. Together. As a Collective. We haven’t made that commitment to change anything at a fundamental level. We’ve blindly accepted that we live in a male-dominated society – even as we tell ourselves that the Divine Feminine is rising. It’s what we know. It’s been that way for the last 6,000 years. We are programmed, genetically imprinted. And it needs to change.
Now – I’m NOT asking that you go out and join in with the protests that are happening all over this world. Unless that’s where you are drawn. I’m NOT asking that you become militant in the need to change things – to my mind, that is a very masculine, traditional way of doing it and is, long term, not likely to succeed in any major way. Peace has never been the result or aim of violence. Remember – everything is Energy. Frequency. You cannot create a frequency of peace from a frequency of war. And I’m not asking that you put yourself on the front line unless that is where you feel your purpose is.
What I AM asking, is for you to think about your commitment – to whatever. Are you really committed to building a better place for our children’s children – as I spoke of in a previous chat – to the 7th generation and beyond. Or are you happier, more comfortable, just watching everything unfold and maybe discussing stuff with friends or posting on Face Book?
There is no judgement here. This is Personal, Individual work that we are all being called upon to do in order for the Collective to start to really know its Self. We need to look at Self with honesty and open-mindedness and not to judge yourself or anyone else if you discover that you don’t hold any major commitments. To be quite honest, most people won’t.
You are a single thread that forms the tapestry of all humans on this planet and your thread is important. If you look at any tapestry, you’ll find that there are threads in there that form the big picture – the background, there are threads that form the detail – the 5 dancers. There is no one thread in there that is more important than another. In weaving, they are the weft.
Now think about the warp of the tapestry. These are the threads that run up and down the fabric and form the basis that the other threads, the weft, weave through. On a tightly woven tapestry, you don’t see those warp threads at all – not even if you look at the back of the work – but they are the threads that anchor the whole thing together. Without these the picture could not be formed. These are the threads representative of the silent majority. These are the threads that hold the whole thing together and creates our reality. These represent those who work within the Power of Silence. Those many, many people who simply get on with their daily life being the best person they can be. Silence is a powerful tool. Potentially the most powerful tool.
We all have our place and our job. I am asking that you work out what your part is in this tapestry at this point in linear time. Are you one of those oh so essential silent majority? Could you be one of the visible support workers – one of those threads that form the solid background? Or are you one of those shining, bright threads that jumps out and says “I have information. I hold knowledge that can bring your reality to a bright place.”
I AM asking that you sit down quietly, jot things down on a notepad, meditate, talk with your Guides and Higher Self – whatever way feels right, and work out what you are most committed to. It may be that you are most committed to your family. I suspect that will be right at the top of most people’s commitments. It may be your work or your health or pretty much anything, but whatever you feel the strongest commitment to, I’d like you to then take the next step. Ask yourself how important is that commitment to you. Don’t just think “Oh It’s very important” I want you to think deeper than that. I want you to think about how far you will go to protect those you are committed to. How much work are you willing to do and what kind of work. How far are you willing to hold that commitment? Will you do the work you need to do to protect your unborn descendants?
Once you have worked out your level of Commitment, then you can look at the HOW you can move forward. What form will that work take to uphold that commitment. This, my friends, I can’t help you with. It’s something only YOU can know. The ‘how’ of it. This is the bit that is often Spirit guided. You just need to recognise the guidance and choose to take up the work.
And whatever that commitment level, whatever way you choose to work with that commitment you have the opportunity to be doing your part towards making this reality into a place of peace and beauty. Think about how your work helps others – maybe, like that warp thread, in a way that is unseen. For example a school teacher allows a parent to go out to work and earn money that will help the family live in a better way. A garbage collector is a valuable and active part of maintaining the health of the community.
I made my initial commitment to work towards reducing the pain that is felt on this planet. I’m not an up-front warrior, my best tools are my mind and my skills with words. Essence became my teacher to guide me in the deeper knowledge and understanding I need. She helps me to understand why it’s sometimes necessary to move in what appears to be the wrong direction. Why sometimes you feel as if you are stagnating. My commitment to Essence and her work is a part of that initial commitment of mine. By learning and understanding I can best do the work of helping to reduce the pain of this planet. And my commitment to my Sacred Contractual Work? – well, that’s just another step in the process.
Making a major commitment is not something to be undertaken lightly. It’s not something you can pull on and off like a pair of socks. It sometimes involves losing friends, family, parts of yourself that you’ve been carrying for eons. Sometimes (often) it can mean getting out of bed in the middle of the night because you are being called and the other members of your ‘team’ work in a different time zone! But if you are someone who can make that commitment – well, the world, your world, doesn’t necessarily become a better place, it can even get to be a bit more difficult, a lot more difficult at times, but when you make that commitment – and uphold it however hard it becomes – then, then you KNOW why you are here. At least, you get to see some of the picture.
Right now, the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is being tested. The 17/8 ATKI is a huge challenge that has been brewing for millennia. This is a long game that won’t be resolved in this lifetime. How committed are you to doing the Energetic Work we need to do? Is your Spiritual Journey full and deep, or is it a surface thing. Are you prepared to do the work even when you know that the results most likely won’t be seen in your lifetime? That this is a long-game. Remember – I thought I was going home when I went into that Dragon’s Gate in 2016 and I was totally devastated to find out that I wasn’t. I had been thinking of the short game. The human view of working in this one lifetime. Once I recognised, understood and accepted that this will not be my only or my last lifetime, once I recognised the long-game, I was able to relax and allow things to unfurl in their own time. To Trust that it will all be right in the end. And that if it’s not all right – it’s not the end.
There’s no wrong answer. No judgement. You are just being called to recognise as an individual thread of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity, your commitment to humanity, to this planet and especially to your Spiritual Journey through this lifetime reality and beyond.
Gy’ Shé em
This is a transcription of the message given by Krone Auri’An in the bi-monthly Zoom Chat held by the International Koalition of Krones. You can find the full recording here: https://youtu.be/ONUImq4nPis
Every week I make a recording for the International Koalition of Krones, and either as stand-alone or as a part of our IKoK bi-monthly Zoom Chats, I share a message from the Animal Kingdom. I’d like to share this one with you. You can find links to my work with the IKoK on my website www.aurian.blog
Today I am talking about a Collective Consciousness where the individuals really know about working together. They are industrious, determined, and strong. With stamina and patience, together they can build or bring down things that are far greater than they each could as individuals. They work together for the good of all members of their community. If one gets inured others will tend to it, carry his load. They work diligently. They understand that they have to put in the hard yakka if they want to succeed. And believe me, they want to succeed and they are successful. They are the second most prolific creature on this planet.
They have one goal – the ongoing survival and success of their community. They are social creatures and they know that all things will come with hard work, time and conviction and that they can overcome any obstacle if they all work for that one goal. So they do. They all work for that one goal – survival of their species.
What animal could I be talking about? Human? We certainly have all these attributes – except one. We too are strong, most of us will work hard at what we need to do to survive as individuals and family groups. A lot of us will help others who are in need. We can overcome amazingly hard challenges and we are also social creatures, however, the biggest difference between us and the animals I am talking about, other than physical form, is the one major step that we humans have not yet fully gained in our evolution – we don’t work together for the survival of our species. We don’t work together for the survival of our home.
The Collective Consciousness of Humanity has almost 8 billion individuals.
The Collective Consciousness of these creatures has an estimated quadrillion individuals. That is one million trillion. Way too many zeros for me! They, not us, could be considered the rulers of this planet. We humans do not even feature in their society. We are not on their radar. They have no idea that we are here. They inhabit every continent except Antartica. I am talking about Ants.
I think it’s fair to say that there are very few humans on this planet who do not really dislike ants. Some folk may have a fascination about how their societies work, but generally we hate them and we fear them. They invade our homes. They can EAT our homes! They get into our kitchen cupboards, our pets drinking bowls, our beds for goodness sake! They swarm, they try to set up new colonies in the wall behind your sofa – and we wage war on them. I’ve talked with the other Krones about this, we are all capture-and-release people, but ants and cockroaches? Well there’s no capture and release for these creatures – they are killed!!! Swatted. Sprayed with Tea-Tree oil, boiling water poured over their nest, our homes surrounded with a moat of diatomaceous earth…..
Yet, other than their physical form, in many ways they actually epitomise what we, humans, are aiming for. We talk about aiming for Oneness. For everyone to understand that they are each a small part of something that is far bigger than us. That we are all connected. That if something hurts our planet, our trees, our oceans, our family, we too – every one of us – are hurt. All of us. Including, ultimately, those that do the harm.
Other than our physical form we have so many thing in common with ants. So many similarities and this, I believe, is why we really do not like them. They could easily have been the dominant species of this planet if they were bigger. We won that race because we have opposable thumbs and because we don’t follow that path of Oneness – that society that has only one mind. We don’t subscribe to the hive mind. It is our ability to think individually that allowed us to become dominant. Though I suspect that ants would challenge that thought if we could communicate with them!
That ability to think individually is our greatest gift and our greatest burden. I’m pretty sure that ants don’t have “Eureka” moments; I suspect that an individual ant couldn’t think up something as complicated as a motor car. Or Electricity. Or the wheel. It’s probably just as well because if they could – we, humans, probably wouldn’t be here now. And I think – just my personal opinion – that it is this very ancient threat to our species that makes us hate them so much; the potential of similarity in everything other than physical form makes them too alike, too close to us for comfort.
Ants’ message is to remind us that we are stronger than we think.
That if we can come together in common cause, then with hard work, time and conviction we will achieve our goals.
We can turn dreams into reality.
Individually we are small – together we are stronger than we could possibly imagine.
All things are connected – but humans have that added ability to think individually.
We need to learn to think individually and act as one for the survival of our species.
It’s time to stop thinking about the small things; these will resolve themselves if we focus on that one thing we all desire – to build the best possible future for our species.
I grew up in the UK. In a time where the entire world always seemed to fighting. In my home town we had to deal with the IRA; with a very militant Green Peace and, because we had two nuclear power stations in the area and our main industry was the building of nuclear submarines, my town was on the Cold War strike list. Those Big Red Buttons – one in the USA and one in Russia – could fire armed warheads straight at my town if the people who ran those countries decided to have a hissy fit. At 17 years old, I had to take a course so that I could recognise letter bombs because I was working in a lawyers office and it wasn’t a far stretch of the imagination that we would receive such a thing – and I opened the mail. It sometimes happened that I’d go into the town and find the chalked outlines of people lying on the street as if they had been killed. It was just a demonstration, but it was a powerful one. This was life. At least nobody in my home town were being shot at.
Media were very vigilant in their reporting of every act of warfare, torture, famine, racial riots. Fake news wasn’t needed – there was plenty of drama to build fear without that.
For me, that eventually brought me to a point where, in my mid 20’s, I couldn’t handle the Energy of it any more and I had my first mental breakdown. I had an amazing doctor, one who listened when I said I couldn’t be hospitalised because I had a baby to look after. Instead he gave me his lunch hours and let me talk; gave me coping tools. I learned how to cope with life. I did it by burying my head in the sand and refusing to watch the world. I have refused to watch the world for 40 years. Until this year.
Now I watch our young people also being forced to live through trauma. But this is trauma of such a different kind. In my day you knew the direction that death was likely to come from. You lived it. It was ‘normal’ and you just got on with life. You played out with your friends, you went to school, you got into trouble, you left school at 15 and went straight into your first job….. You lived life with that shadow hanging over you. You and every other person you knew and you were able to deal with it because you were in the same boat as everyone else. You were together in a situation that you had no way to control. You were TOGETHER.
Our kids though? They have that shadow hanging over them but for them the direction the fear is coming from is far less solid. The fear and anger and trauma of my young life damaged me. I’ve struggled emotionally all my life – rolling from one drama to the next, usually in tears – and I wasn’t isolated behind a mask. I wasn’t separated from everyone else by 6ft. I wasn’t taught to fear everyone. How are our children going to cope with the trauma of the isolation and separation they are having to face right now?
I watch the news nowadays. It’s been a baptism of fire after 40 years of not watching any form of news. I think this avoidance has given me an unique view of what is happening. I’m observing but I’m not caught up in the fervour. I see the politicising of what is basically a bad strain of the flu. I cannot think of it as anything other. I am a survivor of Bird Flu. I was probably one of the first people in Australia to get the Bird Flu – it was in 2004, a year before that pandemic was fully felt and there was no restrictions put upon me. It took me about 6 months to get to the point where I wasn’t coughing my guts up at the slightest exertion. It has the same symptoms as Covid-19; it’s passed on in the same way – through air-borne droplets from coughs and sneezes. And it carried a 68% mortality rate. Only 32 people out of every 100 that caught Bird Flu lived to tell the tale. This is the event that resulted in the guidelines being written for dealing with a pandemic – those very ones that governments around the world are ignoring or twisting to their own point of view. The ones that say we don’t need to wear masks, or quarantine, or close down borders or totally trash the economic balance of the world.
But the point of all this rambling is our children. How are they being helped through these times. I watch the news. Remember, it’s something that is new to me. I see adults who are angry. I see adults who are fearful. I see adults yelling for this or that or the other. I see adults killing each other. I see adults accusing other adults of the most heinous acts of depravity. I see adults exerting power over the lives of others. I see this as videos on social media – where the kids could also potentially see them. I see adults complaining that they are only allowed out for one hour of exercise. I see adults complaining that they can’t go for a drive if they want to, that they can’t go to the beach, or to the pub, or to work, or that they have lost their work. I see adults talking about themselves and other adults.
I see news-readers bravely telling us of the politicians and others with self-inflated egos using the fear that has been generated to bolster their own agendas. Here in Australia we wobble on the edge of dictatorship, where we are not allowed to leave the country or travel interstate; where a pregnant mum can be arrested in front of her children for posting on Facebook that she would like to see a peaceful demonstration. Where a young lady is not allowed to go to her father’s funeral or comfort her 11 year old sister.
But tell me – where are the adults who are advocating in the public media for the children? I know they must be there, working for the children, but their voice is drowned out by the adults talking about adults. The education department in my state have put out guidelines to teachers. I volunteer at my local school and I see first-hand how our teachers are doing an amazing job, they are doing their best to help the kids – but they are not mental-health professionals. There should be a huge blast of very visible resources for helping our children.
I don’t see a focus on the care of our children on the news programmes I watch. Maybe I’m watching the wrong ones. Our children are hidden behind the fear of the adults. They are being poisoned by the fear and anger of adults. They are being poisoned by their imprisonment and separation caused by the adult fear of something that kills a very small percentage of people. To save one life, we damage thousands.
Eventually these children are going to have to take on the reins of government, of corporate venture. They are going to be the ones who will guide us into the future of humanity and we are damaging them. We are causing untold trauma to our young people, and like me, when I was younger, most of them will have no way to express it. They probably don’t even recognise the damage. I know I didn’t. It becomes normalised, and it’s frightening to think that our children will think it normal to remain separate to others, to fear others. Our children being isolated from other children is not a future I want to envisage – but I can’t help but see it. It took me until I reached my 60’s to fully understand and work my way through the fears of my childhood.
We keep saying that we’re working for a better future. But we focus on the wrong things. I see people becoming angry and fearful about the illusions spread by cultish groups, fears, for example, of children being taken by those using Blackmagic; being tortured for some enzyme that supposedly can extend life; being kidnapped, raped in unbelievable numbers. I’m not saying that children are not being kidnapped and abused, what I am saying is are you protecting your own children – or are they being exposed this? I know that such a thing would have terrified me as a child if I’d happened to overhear my parents talking of such things.
Our children, and their children and their children’s children ARE our future. And we don’t even recognise how much we are hurting them, damaging them mentally, emotionally and socially with our adult fears and our anger. Is it really surprising that suicide rates in young people is rising?
I know of a people who don’t only consider their children’s welfare – or their children’s children even – every decision, every interaction considers, as a priority, the welfare of the children of these people to the 7th generation.
Why, when it is so clear to see that THIS, our children to the 7th generation, is the future of humanity; why can’t we make that same consideration? We’ve been focused on NOW for too long. Focusing on Now isn’t necessarily wrong, but we need to make sure that the Now we focus on is from the perspective of how it will affect the next 7 generations – 200 years.
What is our future going to look like in 200 years down this current timeline? When that 7th generation are coming into their power. What are future historians going to say about this point in history? Those future historians are your children’s children.
YOU are your children’s ancestor. YOU are creating the world they will be living in.
I thank you for your patience – I needed to lay the background down for you over the last few posts so that you know that digging yourself out of that dark hole of depression, anxiety and stress is not only about what is going on in your head – it’s also about what is going on in your body!
Last issue I let you into a little bit of my life – which has been filled with stress, anxiety and depression issues. I got out of that dark hole. There’s still a lot of stress in my life but now I can deal with it without getting overwhelmed. And this is what I want to show you.
For me I had to start from a very dark place. In chronic pain, unable to walk more than 4-5 steps, depressed, a whole heap of physical problems ranging from severe food intolerances, migraine, chronic fatigue. I was popping pills by the bucket-load. That was what first changed. With the guidance of my doctor (yes, I had a lot of arguments with her about this, and I would NEVER advocate stopping prescribed meds – there are very good reasons why some medication shouldn’t be stopped) I slowly cut down on meds. It took me two years but eventually I was medication free. I was controlling my pain through meditation. I didn’t realise I was meditating – I was simply breathing through the pain.
I started pushing my physical activity. I started walking to the door and back. A few days later I made it to the lift and back. In small increments over a 4 month period I eventually was able to walk about 1km. Belly dancing was next on my list of activities. Yes – using belly dance as a therapy is how I ended up teaching it here in Cardwell! Eventually I was running a small holiday apartment complex, cleaning, making beds and the mum of two very huge Newfoundland dogs. Dancing, working, cycling, walking the dogs – it seemed I lived an active life. I’ll never been in that top 5% of fittest people again and I still live my life in chronic pain – but you know what? I can walk. How cool is that!!!
So what can you do to start this journey. The first and the hardest step is to decide that you are going to get your life back. You need to decide that you are in charge of your physical and your emotional well being.
I’m an Holistic Counsellor. That means that I don’t get you to dig into the painful past unless you want to go there. I am far more concerned with how you feel RIGHT NOW – and how we can work together to make it better. So if you have problems with stress, anxiety, depression, chronic pain – you now have a choice. This is your first step toward either recovering or remaining as you are.
WARNING – this is where I get tough.
It’s a hard choice and you need to be super clear and honest with yourself. You have to work out if you are actually comfortable where you are. I know that on the face of it, it sounds silly, but lots of people are actually happy being unhappy! It’s what they know; it’s what they are comfortable with. Some part of your body doesn’t work or you feel depressed – you go give those problems to the doctor and if you are lucky you’ll get some pills to pop.
Is this you? Or do you want to take charge of your own health – physical and emotional? Are you prepared to do the work needed to turn things around? It’s not hard work and it doesn’t required lots of sweat! But it does require your determination to succeed.
So that is your homework this week. Make a decision. The first, and I believe, the hardest step to your recovery is making this decision and to decide you have the determination to carry it through. The rewards are huge!
In the next post I’ll start to give you some of the tools that will help you once you have made that so important decision that you ARE going to get back your zest; that you DO want to live a fuller and happier and more fulfilled life.
Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….
Over the last 4 posts, we’ve had a good look at what happens in your body when you go into overwhelm. You know that feeling, it’s when everything gets on top of you and you just want to burst into tears and hibernate somewhere until it all goes away. Doesn’t matter if its work, kids, school, finances, partner issues, illness, chronic pain or a sabre toothed tiger popping up in the supermarket. Your body reacts exactly the same – it hops into the Fight or Flight Response at warp speed plus.
If you want to know more about the Fight or Flight Response (FFR) follow the links below to my previous articles on this topic
Last issue we touched upon some of the ways we actually keep ourselves in that Fight or Flight Response (FFR) situation and in this issue I want to look at how that constant low-grade FFR affects your health.
Actually it’s easy. Pretty much every thing you have a health issue with can be directed back to your lifestyle with a big emphasis on the amount of stress you deal with.
I know someone who has been in that Stress Response (FFR) pretty much all her life. It has badly affected her health, and I am going to give you the short version of those problems – and the way she climbed out of that cycle. I know this person very well indeed. It’s me. I tell you this not for sympathy, but rather to show you that you can be in the lowest place and still climb out if you are prepared to put in the work.
I was emotionally abused as a child, but it was so insidious I didn’t even realise it was abuse until a few years ago.
I lived in a town on the Cold War strike list. The threat of a nuclear bomb landing on my home town was very real. We lived in the shadow of nuclear power stations; built nuclear submarines. The IRA and Greenpeace activists were a constant worry.
I was a classical ballet dancer – with all the demands and stresses of that profession.
In 1980 I found myself on the floor of a shopping mall in the UK in the middle of racial riots. Noise, shrieks, glass windows crashing to the floor, youths trying to kill each other, missiles being thrown. It took another 20 years before I was diagnosed with PTSD. I had full-scale panic attacks almost every day as I pushed myself to live as close to a normal life as possible.
I’m an Empath and the world news of that era – war, famine, torture were constant on the news – I couldn’t handle it and had a breakdown.
My husband was diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer. I nursed him at home. During this time there was also problems with money, threats to have our house taken off us and so much more.
I collapsed, paralysed for several hours on the bathroom floor. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I had been an elite athlete; I trained with Olympic athletes and ranked in the top 5% fittest people on Earth. Now I couldn’t walk across the room.
Recently, there’s been really tough financial situations; another breakdown; relationship issues….. the list is ongoing.
I say that I have lived my life in constant fear. To a certain extent this is true, but there were also joys and love and laughter.
One day my doctor told me I needed to stop working and start using a wheelchair. That is when I turned my life around. A wheelchair was not for me.
This seems long winded, but believe me it is the short version!
So what did I do to get myself out of this stressful, anxiety-laden life? That first step is the hardest – I recognised that I needed to stop living in fear and do something about where I’d ended up. I had to work it out myself as I had no help. It’s absolutely not a quick fix. This work takes strength and determination. And it starts with the breathing exercise I gave you in the very first post in this series! But MAN it is worth the effort.
More next time – I’ve run out of space!
Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….
In the last edition I talked about the cascade of events that happens when the Sympathetic Nervous System kicks in with Fight or Flight Response – how it’s like stomping on the accelerator of your car. I also mentioned how the Parasympathetic Nervous System cuts in to help calm everything down once the danger, or perceived danger, has passed.
What I want to talk about today is what happens when we keep getting triggered and the parasympathetic nervous system doesn’t get a chance to apply the brake!
Basically, the sh*^ hits the fan! If, for whatever reason, we don’t realise that there really isn’t anything dangerous going on, something called the HPA Axis kicks in. The Hypothalamus get back into the picture and notifies the Pituitary gland which lets the Adrenals know they need to release cortisol into our system. That means we keep our foot on the gas pedal and our body stays ramped up for action. And it pretty much stays that way until we can work out that the danger is passed. When the all-clear happens, the adrenals stop producing cortisol and as that fades away we can relax again.
In modern day society, we are not likely to meet a sabre-toothed tiger. Our FFR is far more likely to be the result of someone’s dodgy driving and even that can be fairly short term. If FFR is something that happens every now and then and only lasts about 15 minutes – there’s no real problem, but we LIVE in FFR. We rarely, if ever, allow that cortisol to fade away and fully relax. Our FFR triggers are so commonplace that we accept them as a way of life – money worries, kids, spouse, the electricity bill, the boss getting on our case, being unemployed, menopause, empty nest, retiring, chronic pain. The list is on-going. I’m sure you can think up some more. And, even more disturbing we voluntarily put ourselves in FFR through the things we watch on TV – movies, news – and the bun-fights we get into on social media. Then, when you include the pressure we put on each other and ourselves to conform to a certain ideal…. Too tall / too short; too thin / too fat; growing older, struggling with diets and disliking the view in the mirror. We have been programmed to live in the FFR. For sure, it’s a mild version but it is still scary in it’s implications for our health.
And that my friends is the next topic before we really look at what we can do about it.
Are you still breathing? Three deep breaths remember ❤
Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….
This is the first in a series that Auri’An is writing for her local newspaper – “Coral Sea Sun”
Maybe today was a bad day. Maybe the kids wouldn’t stop fighting, the
dog threw up on the couch, and the washing machine flooded the kitchen. Maybe today was a day you really just wanted
to go back to bed and wish it would all go away. Maybe today you just wanted to curl up in a
ball and cry.
We all have those days. I’m sure you recognise that, even if your bad
stuff is different. That feeling of
being overwhelmed, of everyone looking to you to sort it out but seeming to not
care that you just don’t want to do it any more. That you need a break.
There are many ways that help you deal
with it, get through it, and actually come out the other end still sane, and
over the next few issues I’ll start to help you through some of these
ways. There’s nothing really hard, or
flash or fancy about it. You don’t need to buy heaps of self-help books; you
just need to know that you need some help and be determined to once again find
your happy self.
One of the very easiest ways to get
through this type of day – those days where everything seems to go wrong – is
something that you have been doing most of your life, well, all your life
actually – breathe.
But not just simply breathing in air
and letting it escape again, you need to do this consciously:
You stop whatever you are doing.
You let your shoulders relax.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath in and then just
sort of huff it out in one big, noisy swoosh.
Then, take another breath. This time suck in as much air as you
can. Feel your chest expanding, your shoulders
lifting and when you think you can’t take in any more – do just that…. Another little bit of air. You can do it….
Then, as slowly as you can let it out.
And when you think you’ve fully breathed out – go some more! You’ll feel your shoulders pressing down,
your tummy pushing upwards to squish your lungs.
You’ll automatically take another deep
breath – let this one out with a swoosh again and then you just get on with
whatever you had to do.
There’s many things that happen in the
body when you take a couple of deep breaths, but there’s not really enough room
to go through them here, but basically you are giving your body time to adjust
and settle down from the Fight or Flight response all those overwhelming things
put you into.
I’ll tell you more about Fight or
Flight next week.
Auri’An Lay lives in Cardwell, Queensland and is the Founder of
Ki’An Healing and Helping You. She is a
Meditation Therapist and Holistic Counsellor, Spiritual Teacher/Healer, Energy
Healer, Belly Dance teacher…….