Posted in 2021

Banking on Energy

First, I want to apologise if you came to this episode expecting, from the title, something wonderful about solar energy or money – that’s not what we are here about.   What I am actually here to talk about is the energy that you carry inside you and that occasionally bubbles over.  Energies such as anger, fear, frustration, love, appreciation, beauty, trust, joy.

When I started on this spiritual journey I was, like many newbies, totally swamped with information that just seemed to hit me from every side.  It’s a very confusing time, especially when, like me, you don’t come into this gradually but rather have a single event that catapults you straight into this strange world that so often feels weird and alien. 

What I want to do today is share with you a trick I learned with regard to handling energy.

I’m an extreme empath but until I was catapulted onto my spiritual path, I didn’t know that. I didn’t even know what an empath is.  I just lived a life of fear that I couldn’t understand.  My very first spiritual teacher encouraged me to go along to group meditation classes – and that is where I started to realise that I was reacting a bit differently to everyone else.

In the meditation group, we all sat on the floor in circle, and as we were guided into the meditation, I would feel a build-up of what felt like electricity that swirled from person to person, travelling around the circle in a clock-wise direction, building, becoming chaotic, until I just couldn’t handle it any more and I would start to visibly vibrate.  My hands would start first but very quickly my whole body would join in.  I’ve been told that it looked like I was having a seizure, and I know that some people actually left the group because it was just too weird – I freaked them out.  It didn’t actually worry me – I was just observing this reaction from inside of me.  I was just watching, not connected to it, until the meditation ended and that’s when it would hit me.  I could barely stand, nauseous, over-emotional, over-whelmed and I would stagger out into the street and lie on the grass verge, connecting into Earth letting all that energy sink away from me.  Sometimes I’d even vomit.  Almost always I would be crying. 

You might ask “Why did I keep going?” I actually have no answer to that except a driving need to learn.

The classes were held in a New Age shop and one day I was considering buying a Shiva Lingam stone.  It was big – about 6 inches long and it felt steady, secure and I went into the meditation holding that stone.  At the time, I knew very little about stones and crystals and the way they can assist us, but during the meditation, holding that stone, I realised that I was able to transfer all that swirling energy into the stone.  I didn’t have to absorb it, I could simply let it pass through me and into the stone.

A few months later I met a new teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras, Founder of the International Koalition of Krones (of which I am a Krone).  She became, and still is, my mentor, teacher, and very good friend and she was very instrumental in my learning how to control my empathy.  Out of control empathy is horrible, frightening, overwhelming, painful – but when you hold it in control, it is one of the most amazing gifts that Starseeds bring to this planet.

At the time, Essence ran a Facebook group called First Wave Blue Ray Indigo – the name of the spiritual generation that I belong to and in that group she shared a picture of a Mandala.  That Mandala was for members to meditate on and to share energy – feelings of love, of caring, of healing and we were able to ‘deposit’ energy into that mandala whenever we wanted – a bit like a bank.  The energy was held within that mandala for anyone to use when needed.  When feeling unwell, worried, stressed, anxious, concerned about a loved one, members could draw upon that energy for Self or to re-direct towards loved ones or where disastrous events were happening in the world.

It was the same energy storage that I had been using with my Shiva Lingam.  It was a Duh! Moment though – I hadn’t made the connection that if you keep putting energy into something, you can probably pull it back out when needed!  Just like your bank account!

And this is also where I learned one of the most important things that a newbie or a neophyte must come to understand – that Energy is just that.  Energy.  It’s not good energy or bad energy.  It’s not light or dark, negative or positive.  It is just Energy.  It’s how we use the energy that makes the difference. 

So into my stone would go this chaotic, swirling, overwhelming energy that I was picking up from those around me.  Into the stone went my fears and my angers, my troubles, my doubts, my frustrations.  Into the stone went that amazing energy-emotion of Yugen.  Into that stone went the energy of appreciation and gratitude, of joy and peace.  The stone would sit next to my work-space and when I hit one of those times where everything is just too much and you want to throw something or scream – well, you have something heavy and handy if you must throw something – although I really do not recommend that, but you also have something that you can focus on sending that frustration to.  Then you can take a deep breath; bring yourself to centre; and then draw in energy through your breath imagining it travelling through your body, energising yet calming.

I found this to be a great tool to help me get my empathic side under control.  I haven’t had to use such a tool for quite a few years now, although I do find that if I have something troubling me or am feeling overwhelmed, I reach for a stone to hold.  I prefer big stones that sit heavily in my hand, filling the palm.  I also like plain ordinary stones I found on the beach or in the garden! 

This blog is also recorded as a Podcast and in on my You Tube channel.  In those versions I have included a meditation so you can experience how his works.  There are links at the bottom so you too can go try it out.

You will need to prepare.  You need to find something you can use as a repository for this energy.  It doesn’t have to be anything special – as mentioned, I prefer to use stones that I’ve picked up out of the garden; or perhaps a piece of driftwood; pictures that I find appealing; I’ve used Essence’s Mandala and I’ve made one of my own to use.  As long as it feels right for you – it’s good to go!

So let’s do this. 

Remember – Flip the Fear, Find the Bling.

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Thank you for reading.


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Flip the Fear, Shine your Bling

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