A few months ago, my spiritual Teacher asked me a question:
Who are you without your wounds?Essence Ka tha’ras
The wounds she was asking about were the things that have happened in my life that have had a negative effect on me. Childhood events that have coloured my point of view of me! Trauma, PTSD and a whole gamut more!
For the past eight years, I have been working to understand me from a spiritual perspective, after all, despite two breakdowns and daily severe panic attacks, I seemed to have fallen through every crack there is when it comes to mental health care.
I’ve always felt like an alien in this world; an outsider who didn’t fully participate but simply watched and observed. Someone who only seemed able to fully BE when I stood up on a stage to teach.
And so I have been delving into the shadow work. Looking into that dark mirror and working out how to change things for the better.
Actually I have been changing things for a long time, but most of that work was simply preparation. Like seeds planted, I needed to wait until I was ready to take the deep dive – and before I could even do that, I had to know why I felt so alien in my own skin.
I think best by writing – so I wrote. And this is why I have been so quiet on this blog. I ended up writing a book about this journey which was finally published yesterday. I didn’t write it in the hope that I would sell a million copies and gain fame and fortune; I wrote it simply for me. And if anyone reads the book and gains inspiration to seek out those parts of themselves that they do not want to carry through the rest of their lives, then that is a beautiful bonus.
I discovered a lot about me and how I live in this world. I already knew that I have total multi-sensory aphantasia, but in my research I learned that I am also autistic and have Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM). I also have anauralia and prosopagnosia. Together, I simply call these things my ‘wonky wiring.’
If you are at all curious, you can find out more by seeking out the book on Amazon. It’s available in paperback and e-book formats.
This is a link to the Australian page: https://amzn.asia/d/18mGWp3
This is a link to the US page: https://a.co/d/7Uw7VBP
Or just search the title: Hidden in a Dark Place.
I really do thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you found it interesting, please hit Like and Subscribe so that you don’t miss future posts.