A few days ago, I did some introspective work and came to the conclusion that I am in a waiting zone. I have arrived at a point in my life that I have been seeking for a very long time. A time where I can follow my own desire to begin some serious Spiritual study. But what exactly do I want to study? What in particular do I want to deeply explore? I have no idea.
I’ve actually been in this drifting mode since the start of Covid when I began to move away from social media. I used to spend hours on Face Book every day – with the International Koalition of Krones, my groups and pages and self-help courses and, as I pulled right back, I also berated myself for abandoning my media presence.
It was time to sit back and have a good look into why I needed to build a media presence and discovered that constantly sharing things with the public – even in the belief that I was helping others, was nothing more than an addiction, and my Ego. The work I want to do is for me. For my knowledge and growth – at least, initially. To do this work, I do not need to perform a song-and-dance routine for the world. I need quiet time, and this is my time of quietness.
What to study? That is the big question. In my life I have explored many things which have become passions, and almost all of which I have ended up teaching: ballet, fitness, writing, belly dancing, weaving – but I know that this time I need to dig into the knowledge desired by my soul. I know that part of my soul journey is to gain knowledge and information that I can take forward into other incarnations and not necessarily knowledge that I will teach. The imperative to begin that learning is strong, yet I am still in this waiting-zone.
Right now I am exploring Taoism – and finding it fascinating. I am learning Tai Chi. I’m also reading other great Teachers such as Neville Goddard, Manly P. Hall and Ram Dass but so far the topic that excites me and will guide me into the depth of knowledge I desire to gain, has eluded me.
I did that introspective digging into Self I mentioned earlier, to gain greater clarity of where I currently am: physically, mentally and emotionally, then I entered into meditation to seek the spiritual depths to this knowledge. In that meditation, my guides brought this forward.
Sometimes you have to drift with the winds of change.
Pushing against the storm is not productive.
Be aware of the currents.
This message tells me that drifting with the winds of change (and I am definitely within a process of change) is exactly what I need to do right now. Drift, and I should not allow frustration at being without definite direction to grow, although to be honest, currently, that frustration is very mild, and I’m rather enjoying the drifting process.
This message was also interesting because it reminded me of a very important lesson I had learned 5 years ago when it was essential that I move to a new town and I really didn’t want to. I fought hard not to go, yet it turned out the be one of the very best things in my life at that time. Sometimes you need to accept that you might be ready to change the world, but the Universe has to get things ready first.
What am I going to study? Not a clue yet. I’ll just keep cruising until it socks me between the eyes and I feel that excitement, that Knowing, that this is where I am meant to dive deep. I know that will happen. At the right time. And in the meantime I am loving discovering the wisdom and knowledge of the ancient (and not so ancient) Teachers that is there for those who wish to discover it.
Auri'An's Journey 