Tag: Shadow Work

Wonky Wiring

A few months ago, my spiritual Teacher asked me a question: 

Who are you without your wounds?

Essence Ka tha’ras

The wounds she was asking about were the things that have happened in my life that have had a negative effect on me.  Childhood events that have coloured my point of view of me!  Trauma, PTSD and a whole gamut more!

For the past eight years, I have been working to understand me from a spiritual perspective, after all, despite two breakdowns and daily severe panic attacks, I seemed to have fallen through every crack there is when it comes to mental health care.

I’ve always felt like an alien in this world; an outsider who didn’t fully participate but simply watched and observed.  Someone who only seemed able to fully BE when I stood up on a stage to teach.

And so I have been delving into the shadow work.  Looking into that dark mirror and working out how to change things for the better.

Actually I have been changing things for a long time, but most of that work was simply preparation.  Like seeds planted, I needed to wait until I was ready to take the deep dive – and before I could even do that, I had to know why I felt so alien in my own skin.

I think best by writing – so I wrote.  And this is why I have been so quiet on this blog.  I ended up writing a book about this journey which was finally published yesterday.  I didn’t write it in the hope that I would sell a million copies and gain fame and fortune; I wrote it simply for me.  And if anyone reads the book and gains inspiration to seek out those parts of themselves that they do not want to carry through the rest of their lives, then that is a beautiful bonus.

I discovered a lot about me and how I live in this world.  I already knew that I have total multi-sensory aphantasia, but in my research I learned that I am also autistic and have Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM).  I also have anauralia and prosopagnosia.  Together, I simply call these things my ‘wonky wiring.’

If you are at all curious, you can find out more by seeking out the book on Amazon.  It’s available in paperback and e-book formats. 

This is a link to the Australian page: https://amzn.asia/d/18mGWp3

This is a link to the US page: https://a.co/d/7Uw7VBP

Or just search the title:  Hidden in a Dark Place.

I really do thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you found it interesting, please hit Like and Subscribe so that you don’t miss future posts.

Drama and Ego

I’m no expert, but it seems to me that in times of war you have to stop and review what’s been going on, what you believe will happen, what you want to see happen and what is likely to actually happen.  This is what I have been doing over the last few weeks.

I’m not a regular writer in this blog.  I have a tendency to do my other stuff until something happens and I just have to write about it – and if that need to write gets as far as actually publishing, well that is just awesome!  I had intended to become a tad more disciplined this year – at least I had until the Universe stepped in with other plans.

So far it’s been a year of drama.  And really?  I’ve had quite enough drama in my life to be quite happily bored for a time.  We know that there is massive amounts of drama in the world but I’m talking personal drama on top of all that Covid crap. It’s been full on and has felt like a major war with massive salvos being shot across my equanimity. 

It should have been no surprise.  I’d had plenty of warning from my Spiritual Sister and Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras.  I knew that the Collective Consciousness of Humanity was heading towards a Collective Dark Night of the Soul and that it won’t peak at its worst point until September 2022.  I also know (because I work closely with her and have seen her predictions come into reality so many times that any doubt just doesn’t exist) that this is only the first stage of that DNOTS and that things are likely to get a whole lot rockier.

So what on Earth made me think that I would escape?  Was it because I have just come out of my own DNOTS?  It took me over 5 years to pull that one off, so I have all the experience in the world about working and living in that place.  I definitely thought I could use that to help others as they fall into their own personal dark place.  Could I possibly have thought that I was immune because during my DNOTS I also studied and gained my skills and qualifications as an Holistic Counsellor? 

Who knows?  What I do know is that in thinking I could avoid this I had donned my own face mask – right over my eyes.  I recognised this. This was the work of Ego. 

Ego is super-sneaky.  Ego leads you to believe that you are helping to sort out the problems of Self and/or the world.  Ego makes you think you are bullet-proof and, believe me, that doesn’t help one little bit when trying to survive in our current society. 

It’s not really surprising that Ego has shown up for me as a micro aspect of the macro (the Collective Consciousness of Humanity).  Ego is currently having a field-day with our world leaders.  And not just the leaders of our society.  You only have to turn on the TV to see it glowing in the faces of many people as they scream and yell and destroy all the while thinking that this violence is going to change things for the better.  Idiots.

What they are doing is giving Ego a bigger platform in their lives.  They are making it all about Me Me Me whilst believing that it is about Us Us Us.  And the arena that it is most easily seen is in that of what is rapidly becoming one of the worlds fastest growing religions – yes a religion, complete with warped dogma – the so-called New Age Belief System.  But I digress.  I’ll talk about that one on another blog.

So.  In my personal war I have spent time reviewing.  I have spent time looking into the darkest aspects of me and my ego.  I have been doing Shadow Work.  We, the IKoK – International Koalition of Krones – have been saying for a while that the Collective will have to do this Shadow Work.  That if they don’t they will be forced into it by circumstance.  I learn by experience and I am having my personal experience of being made to look deeply through all the drama in my life in a way I just can’t avoid.

And all I can say right now is that if the entire Collective Consciousness of Humanity has to do the same, has to dig as deep as I have, has to face its fears and its demons, it’s going to be messy.  But I also want to hold up a ray of light.  Only a few days ago I believed I was falling deeply into that dark well of despair that I know so well having lived in it for many years, but I am still here.  Occasionally teetering on the edge for sure but all that experience and study and training has held me in good stead.  I recognised what was happening and I chose to survive.  I chose to survive because I believe, so very strongly, that I can help.  Even if it is only with one person.  I can help that one person make a difference in their life.

And that isn’t ego.  It’s Krone Wisdom.  The wisdom that is grown out of knowledge and experience and shared with all who seek it and respect it.

Gy’ Shé em

I AM Krone

Krone Auri’An

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