“How can we justify being focused on spiritual and philosophical pursuits when there is so much pain and suffering in the world?“
This is a question asked by my Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras.
I love her questions. They usually come when I’ve just got up in the morning and am still stumbling around trying to sort out my first cup of coffee. I swear, I am not human until after two cups of coffee, so when Essence greets me with questions such as this, it can be a bit of a shock to the system! This question arrived at a more civilised time, so I was able to crank up the brain cells….
This is the lesson I learned when I had my first mental breakdown in the early 1980’s Life had always been stressful; I was a young mum who was also suffering from PTSD although it was another 20 years before that was diagnosed. My husband watched the BBC News all day, and the only topic of conversation on the TV station was the various wars, famine, murders, IRA, Cold War and all the other terrors of that era. It was too much.
At that time there was really only two methods of treating a breakdown – hospitalisation with electric-shock therapy or some really vicious drugs. Either way, I would not be in a position to look after my baby and seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist was only for rich folk. I was incredibly lucky in that my doctor was very forward thinking; and he was a neighbour. What actually happened was that for about a year, he gave up his lunch time for an off-the-books appointment with me. What he taught me, not only saved my sanity, but probably my life.
He asked me if I was going to physically do something about the world problems that were causing me such distress. Was I planning to travel to Cambodia to assist the people who were struggling after surviving the Pol Pot regime? Was I going to actually take food to the places around the world where children were starving? Could I, personally, do anything about the IRA presence in my home town?
My answer was no. I had a baby and a family to look after, and I could barely find the energy to leave my own house.
This doctor was the first person to teach me Compassion with Detachment, although he didn’t use those words. In more recent years, Essence reminded me of this – during the time I was recovering from my 2nd breakdown – and my Dark Night Of The Soul.
He made a recommendation. He suggested that I think about the world 150 years ago. It would have been the 1830’s and most people had no idea what was happening in the next village, and certainly no knowledge of what was happening on the other side of the world. My choice was to actually leave everything I knew and loved and go DO something – take Physical Action Steps – to rectify the world problems as I saw them, or I could focus on my local area, physically and emotionally, where I COULD, actually, do something to help.
This was the place I dwelled for the next 40 years – until Covid. Many people, me included at times, would have considered my choice as hiding my head in the sand. Many would think me very ignorant because I had no idea what was going on in the world. I had no idea who was Prime Minister or even which political party was holding sway. My quiet, small, voice was not going to make a difference, so my worrying myself sick over these things would only result in my being physically, emotionally and mentally even more hurt.
Thich Nhat Hanh summed it up beautifully
I am aware of what is going on in the world, but if I allow it within me, I will become sick. If I am sick I am of no assistance to others.
Thich Nhat Hanh
What I now know is that my choice was an Energy choice. I could devote a whole heap of Energy into fields where I had no ability to make a difference – and in the course of that, I would drain myself of any ability to do anything helpful in any arena. Or I could focus my Energy on where I COULD make a difference. In my case, it was my local community and my own physical and mental health.
At that time, I was in my Dark Night of the Soul. Now, today, the entire Collective Consciousness of Humanity is in its Dark Night of the Soul– and we are heading towards a peak in those Energies.
I am now realistic – and, hopefully, wiser. There are things I can do, and things I can’t. I, as an individual cannot fix the world any more now than I could in the 1980’s. But I can work in my local community, I can focus on my spiritual, physical and mental health. I can, as an individual, stand in the Energy of being aware, of bearing witness, of doing what I AM able to do, where I am able to do it. I choose not to make lots of public noise on social media, not because I think it’s wrong to make a noise, but because it’s simply not something – at this point in time – that I, as an individual, can do much about.
We have to grow, we have to come together and we have to be absolutely sure of our Collective way forward. Right now we are none of those things.
Right now we are in a cycle that has been repeated for as long as humans hold memory.
Is this going to be the last time we pass through this cycle? I don’t know – but I doubt it.
All my life, for as long as I can remember, I have been overwhelmed. For most of my life I believed it was because of my upbringing which was in a time when children could be seen, but most definitely were not to be heard. It was confusing. Adults and other children around me, made me feel befuddled. They made me fearful; they over-powered me with their very presence, with the noise that they made. They were too active – too strong and I didn’t understand that it wasn’t their physical voice, or activity, or muscular strength that overpowered me – it was far stranger than that. Some people could over-power me simply by looking at me and make me devolve into tear-filled mess.
The noise that humans make hurts me. Even now – in certain situations. Not physically, it’s more of a mental disturbance. It’s hard to describe, and as a child I had no means of reference to say that this pain which hurt my body and this pain which hurt my soul were any different. I had no guidance to know that it wasn’t always physical noise that hurt. Now I know that it is the chaotic, jumbled Energy noise that so many people put out, that can hurt so much.
Like many others, I had no-one to guide me, so I learnt avoidance. I already knew how to disappear into the walls so that I couldn’t be seen but I also learned how to disappear into story books, how to travel to different realms. My own way to describe it was to “go visit the Elephants”. Basically I would leave my body and go where I felt safe. On the open savannah with the elephants. I would walk in their footsteps. I have a guide, Emily, who is a big, blue, matriachal elephant. I even have a painting of her on my wall. She makes me feel safe.
I learned how not to be there even when my physical body was. It was the only way I had at that time to control my environment. When I got a bit older, I used food to control my environment. I was anorexic.
That tentative control was violently ripped from me one day when I was caught up in riots. Now I understand that it wasn’t just the physical noise and violence of those riots, but the Energy of anger, fear, death; of dominance, destruction and hatred. That Energy whirled around in a maelstrom of violence that I couldn’t handle. For over 20 years after that event, I lived in fear of everything outside my front door. I had zero control of everything that happened outside my front door. It took that long for me to be diagnosed with PTSD.
Time moved on, I learned how to deal with the panic attacks that happened every day and especially whenever I went into a place where there were lots of people. My need to escape the pain I felt was so great that I would become violent. I’ve been thrown out of more that one McDonalds for going to thump someone who was simply talking loudly!
Time moved on, I learned coping strategies and life continued – and was even fulfilling at times. Then, totally out of the blue, in the midst of a time when other dramas were playing out, I was accused of something I hadn’t done, something I hadn’t even been involved with and I was threatened with jail time. My world was already very delicately poised, but with this threat it totally collapsed. This was in August 2014.
In October 2014, I had what I call my Initial Spiritual Awakening Experience. And in June the following year Essence Ka tha’ras came into my life. There have been many times when I have stated that she saved my sanity and I am deadly serious about that. Finally someone was able to explain to me what was happening.
At 60 years of age I found out about Empathy. Of course I knew about empathy as opposed to sympathy, but I didn’t know that empathy could also be an amalgam of our senses; a deeper sense. A response to the energies swirling about in the world around us. I didn’t know that people are empathic in this way of sensing the energies around them. I found out that I am Empathic – and that every other human on this planet has that ability to some degree or other. If they are open to it – it’s a matter of sensitivity. Most importantly, I learned that it overwhelms when you are not in control. And I, most definitely, was not in control. I finally discovered that all this pain and noise and overwhelm is because I am very sensitive to the energy of what is around me.
Essence taught me that I can learn to take control.
That has probably been the most important part of my journey through this lifetime. You really can’t learn to control how you perceive and receive the energy around you, until you learn about how Energy works and how to work with Energy. You can’t just flick a switch – you have to learn about it.
The very first thing I needed to learn was how to stop seeing all this Energetic swirling as something to be feared. Essence taught me that if I could learn to take control, instead of it controlling me, that this knowledge of the energy of the world around me could become my greatest gift for helping others. I am driven to help others; and this could be an amazing tool but I had to change my mindset, my beliefs. I’d had 60 years of fear and hiding from something that could be my greatest asset – but it wasn’t something that was going to be learned overnight.
Essence got the ball rolling, but eventually my guides directed me to attend a weekly meditation circle in the town where I lived. The people there were lovely. Committed, helpful, caring – but the Energies they moved in were already too low a frequency for me to feel comfortable in and I wasn’t sufficiently experienced to be able to move through different frequencies without being affected. I know that sounds like Ego – Hey, my frequency is higher than yours – but that is very definitely not the case. It was simply that they worked in fields that operated in different frequencies than those I was starting to work in. I went there to learn skills I needed – primarily I needed to learn to trust what I Know. To trust the Energy I was able to read. How did I do this, I learned the art of psychometry.
I was pretty hopeless with reading Energy off personal items such as jewellery, they feel inert to me, but my teacher would put a photograph in an envelope or face-down on the table and I would hover my hand over it, I wouldn’t touch it and I would attempt to ‘read’ the Energy I felt about whatever was in that photo that I couldn’t see. I had to push myself out of my comfort zone and learn to say what came into my Knowing without doubting and second-guessing it. Sometimes the things students would come out with when we did these exercises were hilarious or even ridiculous, but no-one ever made anyone else feel stupid. We were all just having a go and I learned to relax and say whatever popped into my mind. And surprisingly that information was uncannily accurate.
It was a good class. Fun. Great people. And every single week for about 18 months, I left that class, got home and vomited. Every single week after attending that class, I would spend hours throwing up.
Now, to be fair, I do have a number of food intolerances and vomiting isn’t really unusual for me when I eat certain natural food chemicals and so, week after week I thought it was something I was eating. Until I was invited to visit the local Spiritual Church.
I went into that church and immediately felt that really familiar draining of my Energy that I describe as ‘pain’. This was a place of very low frequency and I was in a position of starting to be able to recognise and understand it. When I had to rush out of that church in order to vomit, I knew exactly why I had been throwing up for the previous 18 months. However lovely the people were in the class I had been attending, the Energy they were working in was too low for the frequencies I was learning to move within and when I mentioned this with my psychometry teacher, she confirmed that she too had recognised that I would soon be leaving to follow my own path. This is a good way of understanding that you really can’t separate the physical from the spiritual.
During most of this time, I had lived in an apartment building with the most horrible, swirling, chaotic energy. Next door was an even bigger apartment building that held energies that were even more intense. It came to a point, when I had to move out. I was the fourth successive manager of that building to have had a mental breakdown. That’s how bad the Energy was there. I amicably separated from my husband and moved to a town several hours away, but on the 1st January 2018 I found myself back in that building after getting a call for help in running the resort.
Despite already having several years of learning to recognise and understand how to read the Energy and, at a basic level, how to work with it, I found myself just 8 days later, on the beach seeking a passive way to leave this life. That’s how badly I was being affected by that energy of those buildings in just 8 short days. I went into meditation and beseeched the Universe to either take me or to show me how to bring balance into my life.
Balance is what I got. I fell off the sea wall. I had to be rescued by the fire service; had two stays in hospital and 4 1/2 hours of surgery pinning my leg back together. When I came out of hospital I had to go back to that place of swirling, painful energy which had only become worse. I had to spend 9 weeks in bed with my leg stuck in the air. And I had to recognise that Energy and not allow it to take control of me once again. I had to learn to choose how I worked with it.
During those 9 weeks I was severely tested. I don’t need to go into the details, but it was bad; it was hard. And it was here that I came to understand that me being in control of the way I perceive and work with the energies around me, or of allowing these energies to control me as they had whilst I was younger was all about choice. Choice and discernment. I had the ability to choose how I saw, felt and reacted to the energies around me and in order to make that choice I had to be able to discern what was beneficial and what was not. And believe me, not only then but in the three years since that accident, I have been severely challenged.
Does this mean that I am now fully in control of my Empathic abilities. Nope. I think I will be learning and growing in this area for a long time yet. What has happened is that I am learning to use that energy in the way that Essence told me I would be able to do. I now view this ability as the true gift it is. I use it to see my world as it is and not so much as it is presented. I use it when I have a client – either for Reiki or drum healing or as a counsellor. I use it within meditation for the benefit of the entire collective – and it’s impossible not to work with energy when working with Essence.
One of the first things she taught me is that Everything is Energy, Frequency, Vibration. It took me a while to get a really good handle on understanding that – but I think I’m pretty much getting there!
Thank you. Thank you for listening. I hope the sharing of my journey helps you to better understand your journey and not to be overwhelmed by the fears of uncontrolled empathy.
Gy’ Shé em Flip the heaviness and Shine your Bling
Don’t forget to Like and to Subscribe so that you don’t miss future posts. Thank you for reading.
The International Koalition of Krones (IKoK) is an international group of Spiritually Awakened Wise Women whose goal is to assist the Collective in it’s continued Spiritual Awakening & Consciousness Expansion Journey during this time on Earth referred to as “The Great Awakening”
The Founder of the IKoK, Essence Ka tha’ras, is, amongst many other things, a Master Metatronic Numerologist. If you wish to explore her work, and the work of the IKoK, there are links below.
There are also You Tube and Soundcloud links to the full IKoK Chat if you wish to know more about the work we do.
Words contain Power. Power that is beyond anything that you might realise. At least, not without thinking deeply about the words that you use, and the words that others use around you. How they affect you – and how they affect those others that you speak with – or to.
There. Straight away, there, is an good example of what I mean. I said, “The others that you speak with or to.” Have a think about it. When you bump into someone and have a chat, then you mention that chat to another person or just review it in your mind later on, how do you describe that conversation? I could say, “I spoke with Essence yesterday” or I could say “I spoke to Essence yesterday.” Just have a think of the difference that is made by that tiny, often unthinking choice of words. You may not even have noticed the difference.
When I speak WITH Essence – we are talking pretty much on an equal footing, we are engaging each other in conversation.
Yet in this scenario, when I speak TO Essence – I would be not only taking control of the conversation – I would be taking Energy away from her because there is an inference that I am talking down to her in some way. Diminishing her. Of course, I never would consider myself in any way superior to Essence (she is my teacher, my mentor, my Spiritual Sister and, above all, my friend), but that diminishing of the Self of the person you are talking TO is a big potential for harm.
Think about it. If one of your co-workers was speaking TO you in this manner, always talking TO you and not WITH you, it wouldn’t take long before you would feel really disempowered, and if it kept on, you would end up feeling fearful, bullied. You’d loose the Joy in your work.
Now, I must say that CONTEXT also plays a big role in this. For example, Essence does talk TO me occasionally. She is my teacher, and she occasionally kicks my butt when I get too big for my britches, or I’m being particularly dense about something. She does this because I asked her to. I asked her to haul me back when I wander off track. Teacher to Student. It’s not a power-play, it’s a lesson that is given respectfully; I know the context and the Energy of the conversation and I am not being disempowered in anyway. With Essence, it’s quite the opposite. She doesn’t cause me Energetic Harm.
And this is what I want to talk about.
I’ve been living in a situation where the words that a neighbour uses has caused me Energetic Harm. It was not done on purpose, nothing at all was meant to diminish me or even make me feel uncomfortable, but after several months I reached the point where my Energy was seeping out of me like someone had turned on the tap. I was feeling drained.
My neighbour is a lovely person. A great person who would give everything she has, to help another person in need. She doesn’t have much herself, but I’ve seen her in action. She is a good person. She’s not on a conscious spiritual path – but she lives the best life she can. Except for her speech.
She’s a naturally vocal person and I am not. Loud noises are a trigger for my PTSD and she has a super loud voice. She spends a lot of time on her balcony, on the phone to various friends and I cannot help but hear her private conversations. I don’t want to but her voice carries as clear as if she is standing next to me so I constantly feel as if I am intruding. And it’s not just the volume of her voice, it’s the cadence – she mainly sounds angry. Even when she’s not, the cadence is as if she is arguing with someone, or being defensive. And every 2nd word begins, probably with very little realisation, with an F.
Have I said something to her? Have I communicated how I feel about this? Not really, not in plain language because she has the right to be who she is. I am the one who is sensitive to loud noise. I am the one who doesn’t want to hear another person’s life laid out on the table for all to listen to. I am the one who feels battered by the constant swearing and who reads into her syntax and cadence the energy of anger and discord. She is just a person who communicates in a certain way and doesn’t realise that from my perspective it feels like I’m being bludgeoned.
The reason I am sharing this is because I wanted to highlight how we can have an effect on others without realising it simply by the way we use the power of our voice and the words we use.
And words carry Energy.
Yes, we all know. This is a bit of a soap-box issue for me – I’ve written in my blog a few times on this topic, Way back in June I spoke on an IKoK Chat about it and I’ve given a few lectures on how you can shoot yourself in the foot by the words that you use, but each time I have been talking about you – about how your language use affects YOU. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken on how your language use, the way that you communicate, can affect others. But now I’d like you to think about exactly that.
We live in a world that depends upon communication, and as anyone who is aware of the Energy of such things will know, the vast majority of that communication at the moment is fear based. And right now, when it has become so tricky to know if what you are being told is true, or not, it becomes even more essential to be discerning about who you talk with, or even to, And who you listen to.
Making it even harder is the fact that so much mis-information carries a basis of truth – but a truth that has been twisted, embroidered, expanded until it bears little resemblance to the initial truth. That kernel of truth running through that misleads good hearted people into falling down the rabbit hole into anger and fear and despair. This is the communication that the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is dealing with. This is the communication style that has brought us to such a low point in this reality.
We talk, we use words, we communicate about coming together as One. As working for the benefit of all. And we use words, and syntax and cadence that says something entirely different. The microcosm – my neighbour, a good soul who works to aid people yet still, in certain circumstance and unknowingly, causes Energetic Harm. The macrocosm – Face Book, News media, the person you bumped into in the street. And possibly, probably, you or me.
So what can we do about it?
Previously, I’ve shared information about what to do so that your speech doesn’t affect your Energy and really, this is pretty much the same but with a focus on how your speech patterns affect others.
I’d recommend first listening to yourself. Record yourself on your phone and see what comes up. Do you talk with others or do you talk to others? Does that change depending on the context? Do you encourage conversation that brings everyone in on an even level? Do you listen respectfully when someone says something you disagree with or do you try to show them that your knowledge is better? Do you interrupt a whole lot? This is mirror work that we must all do – and not just once. It’s an ongoing process. Clear Communication is the base work of the Conscious Evolution of Humanity.
I’ve been doing this mirror work and I’ve discovered that some of my habits could be construed as annoying to others. I have a tendency to laugh in phone conversations but by doing this Mirror work, by LISTENING to myself, I’ve realised that that laughter is something I started to do many years ago to cover up my fears. It happens with any phone conversation I have with any person, and it happens because a valuable form of information is removed for me – basically I can’t read face and body expressions which is something I learned as a very small child in order to be able to work out if a situation is fearful or not. Those situations no longer apply but the cover-up laughter still remains. It’s something I can now work on. The mirror work is on self, but with the intention of bringing a new level of open communication with everyone around me.
I am a single thread in the weaving of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity. If I can improve my communication skills by being aware of the effects on others of my word choices and the way I deliver my message, I can have an affect on all other threads in that weaving.
If we can each learn to communicate and interact with each other in a way that is more considered, respectful and less likely to cause Energetic Harm, we will be taking a step forward on the road of the Controlled Conscious Evolution of our Collective.
DID YOU KNOW: People living in areas with high levels of daytime noise had a 36% higher risk of being diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, and a 30% increased risk of Alzheimer’s disease than those living in quieter neighbourhoods.
This blog is from the International Koalition of Krones Bi-monthly Chat of 23rd October 2020. You can watch the full chat at: https://youtu.be/daflEFbrP-w and also have the opportunity to take part in an amazing and powerful meditation.