Tag: Mirror work

Wonky Wiring

A few months ago, my spiritual Teacher asked me a question: 

Who are you without your wounds?

Essence Ka tha’ras

The wounds she was asking about were the things that have happened in my life that have had a negative effect on me.  Childhood events that have coloured my point of view of me!  Trauma, PTSD and a whole gamut more!

For the past eight years, I have been working to understand me from a spiritual perspective, after all, despite two breakdowns and daily severe panic attacks, I seemed to have fallen through every crack there is when it comes to mental health care.

I’ve always felt like an alien in this world; an outsider who didn’t fully participate but simply watched and observed.  Someone who only seemed able to fully BE when I stood up on a stage to teach.

And so I have been delving into the shadow work.  Looking into that dark mirror and working out how to change things for the better.

Actually I have been changing things for a long time, but most of that work was simply preparation.  Like seeds planted, I needed to wait until I was ready to take the deep dive – and before I could even do that, I had to know why I felt so alien in my own skin.

I think best by writing – so I wrote.  And this is why I have been so quiet on this blog.  I ended up writing a book about this journey which was finally published yesterday.  I didn’t write it in the hope that I would sell a million copies and gain fame and fortune; I wrote it simply for me.  And if anyone reads the book and gains inspiration to seek out those parts of themselves that they do not want to carry through the rest of their lives, then that is a beautiful bonus.

I discovered a lot about me and how I live in this world.  I already knew that I have total multi-sensory aphantasia, but in my research I learned that I am also autistic and have Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM).  I also have anauralia and prosopagnosia.  Together, I simply call these things my ‘wonky wiring.’

If you are at all curious, you can find out more by seeking out the book on Amazon.  It’s available in paperback and e-book formats. 

This is a link to the Australian page: https://amzn.asia/d/18mGWp3

This is a link to the US page: https://a.co/d/7Uw7VBP

Or just search the title:  Hidden in a Dark Place.

I really do thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you found it interesting, please hit Like and Subscribe so that you don’t miss future posts.

Mercury Retrograde???

I love looking at the stars. I can point out a few of the more commonly known star constellations and I even know where Betelgeuse is (although I did have to go check the spelling!); but I’m not big on astronomy or astrology. Like many people, I’ve had my natal charts done and I know I have 11 water signs in there and that this is apparently a bit unusual, but beyond that I look at the stars on a clear night to experience Yugen. Houses, squares, opposition and retrograde stuff is something I leave to those who find that information fascinating and also know what to do with it!

I don’t go into a panic when someone mentions Mercury Retrograde (a quick check showed that there’s one happening pretty soon – and that they happen frequently too) and when I saw that people were already getting into a flap because they were expecting to experience all kinds of difficulties from the upcoming retrograde, my guides sort of jumped up and down and waved a red flag at me to dig a bit deeper. Why do people think that things are going to be trickier than normal just because, from our perspective here on Earth, the planet Mercury looks as if it’s going backwards in the heavens?

The way I look at it is that these people are expecting difficult things to happen, so when they do happen, could it really be because of that apparent planetary retrograde, or is it that they are actually creating the Energy necessary for things to fall over? Think of the Law of Attraction. I still get that mental image of an “Ultimate Being” sitting on a cloud looking down at the millions of little Beings on the planet and thinking “Oh look… that person really wants to experience a difficult time, she’s forever thinking about it – let’s help her a little and drop a few tricky things in her path!”

This is another case of “You can’t separate the physical from the spiritual.” In our physical world, when people realise that another retrograde is about to happen and they get all hyped up. They start to worry about things breaking down, of losing connectivity with the rest of the world; they worry about illness and work; the kids, the parents, the weather, the dogs…. after all in Mercury Retrograde all kinds of stuff stops working or gets lost or otherwise falls over.

At least, that’s what I was taught in the very early days of my Spiritual Journey: “Keep your head in, because all kinds of horrible things can happen during Mercury Retrograde!” This was followed up with daily discussions of everything that went wrong, or could go wrong, and obviously it was all happening because of the retrograde and not at all for any other reason. Especially not because of something that person did or didn’t do. The fault was always the outside influence of the retrograde. As an example, you are taking the clean washing outside to dry in the sun when it falls on the floor because a handle on the basket broke. That’s Mercury Retrograde of course and not that the basket has been threatening to break for the past three weeks but you hadn’t got around to fixing or replacing it.

A few years back my Teacher, Mentor, Friend and Spiritual Sister, Essence Ka tha’ras described Mercury Retrograde as giving us the opportunity to run in place for a while instead of jogging down the street. Mercury, the planet, isn’t actually stopped or travelling backwards; it simply appears that way to us here on Earth. It’s all about perspective.

To me that jogging in place analogy makes sense. A planetary retrograde gives us a time to pause; to review what we are doing, where we have come from and where we are going. A breathing space where we can see exactly what are the things we need to spend some time working on – for example, in the physical world – fixing that laundry basket! And because we simply cannot separate the physical from the spiritual, it’s the ideal time to start looking at yourself.

What do you think you’ll need to work on during this upcoming Mercury retrograde? Often you’ll find it’s the very things that you worry MIGHT happen!! You have time to look in the mirror and choose – work on these things or just continue to worry about them.

OM AkarapariNama Anandaham
Krone Auri’An

Read Essence Ka tha’ras full article here

Drama and Ego

I’m no expert, but it seems to me that in times of war you have to stop and review what’s been going on, what you believe will happen, what you want to see happen and what is likely to actually happen.  This is what I have been doing over the last few weeks.

I’m not a regular writer in this blog.  I have a tendency to do my other stuff until something happens and I just have to write about it – and if that need to write gets as far as actually publishing, well that is just awesome!  I had intended to become a tad more disciplined this year – at least I had until the Universe stepped in with other plans.

So far it’s been a year of drama.  And really?  I’ve had quite enough drama in my life to be quite happily bored for a time.  We know that there is massive amounts of drama in the world but I’m talking personal drama on top of all that Covid crap. It’s been full on and has felt like a major war with massive salvos being shot across my equanimity. 

It should have been no surprise.  I’d had plenty of warning from my Spiritual Sister and Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras.  I knew that the Collective Consciousness of Humanity was heading towards a Collective Dark Night of the Soul and that it won’t peak at its worst point until September 2022.  I also know (because I work closely with her and have seen her predictions come into reality so many times that any doubt just doesn’t exist) that this is only the first stage of that DNOTS and that things are likely to get a whole lot rockier.

So what on Earth made me think that I would escape?  Was it because I have just come out of my own DNOTS?  It took me over 5 years to pull that one off, so I have all the experience in the world about working and living in that place.  I definitely thought I could use that to help others as they fall into their own personal dark place.  Could I possibly have thought that I was immune because during my DNOTS I also studied and gained my skills and qualifications as an Holistic Counsellor? 

Who knows?  What I do know is that in thinking I could avoid this I had donned my own face mask – right over my eyes.  I recognised this. This was the work of Ego. 

Ego is super-sneaky.  Ego leads you to believe that you are helping to sort out the problems of Self and/or the world.  Ego makes you think you are bullet-proof and, believe me, that doesn’t help one little bit when trying to survive in our current society. 

It’s not really surprising that Ego has shown up for me as a micro aspect of the macro (the Collective Consciousness of Humanity).  Ego is currently having a field-day with our world leaders.  And not just the leaders of our society.  You only have to turn on the TV to see it glowing in the faces of many people as they scream and yell and destroy all the while thinking that this violence is going to change things for the better.  Idiots.

What they are doing is giving Ego a bigger platform in their lives.  They are making it all about Me Me Me whilst believing that it is about Us Us Us.  And the arena that it is most easily seen is in that of what is rapidly becoming one of the worlds fastest growing religions – yes a religion, complete with warped dogma – the so-called New Age Belief System.  But I digress.  I’ll talk about that one on another blog.

So.  In my personal war I have spent time reviewing.  I have spent time looking into the darkest aspects of me and my ego.  I have been doing Shadow Work.  We, the IKoK – International Koalition of Krones – have been saying for a while that the Collective will have to do this Shadow Work.  That if they don’t they will be forced into it by circumstance.  I learn by experience and I am having my personal experience of being made to look deeply through all the drama in my life in a way I just can’t avoid.

And all I can say right now is that if the entire Collective Consciousness of Humanity has to do the same, has to dig as deep as I have, has to face its fears and its demons, it’s going to be messy.  But I also want to hold up a ray of light.  Only a few days ago I believed I was falling deeply into that dark well of despair that I know so well having lived in it for many years, but I am still here.  Occasionally teetering on the edge for sure but all that experience and study and training has held me in good stead.  I recognised what was happening and I chose to survive.  I chose to survive because I believe, so very strongly, that I can help.  Even if it is only with one person.  I can help that one person make a difference in their life.

And that isn’t ego.  It’s Krone Wisdom.  The wisdom that is grown out of knowledge and experience and shared with all who seek it and respect it.

Gy’ Shé em

I AM Krone

Krone Auri’An

Of Wings and Lost Marbles

2020. 

The Year that Humanity Goes Galactic. 

2020 was the year that historians will look back upon and say that this is where we took the first step towards physically travelling to the stars.  But looking back now, at the end of the year and not from the perspective of 200 years into the future, is it any wonder that I occasionally think that this is a euphemism.  That “going Galactic” really means that humanity goes completely off it’s collective rocker!  It’s the only possible explanation for what’s been going on this year.  We’ve lost our marbles.

Think about it.  It’s been exhausting.  It’s been a year filled with fear and anxiety; with anger and with helplessness.  It’s been a year where people have lost their jobs, their loved ones, their lives. We are at war.  Make no mistake about that one.  But it’s a war, the likes of which we’ve never seen before.  A cyber war. A war where people are being beset with their greatest fears – all in the so-called safety of their home.  It’s a war where Starseeds and Lightworkers believe they are fighting for good and for the light – but in reality have been drawn into an addiction energy that drives the Shadow Side Forces of Light.

I remember at the beginning of Covid thinking that this is IT.  This is the thing that will bring humanity together.  I remember writing that there was no war on the planet at that time because everyone had finally found a common enemy and they were coming together to fight it together.  How different could this have been if we’d stayed on that path?  But humans are still ruled  by division.  If we can’t go fight overseas and show the world that face of superiority, well we’ll just escalate the in-fighting and continue to believe in that fallacy of superiority.  Only this time it’s our belief that we are superior to our neighbour that drives the fear and the anger.

Everything about humanity that is bad has been lifted up and reflected to us in the mirror.  It’s a mirror that we have not been able to avoid, but still many of us haven’t done the needed work on Self.  It’s been a year where we have not been able to stick our head under a blanket and say ‘it’ll be all right’ because for the first time in most people’s lives, we just don’t know if it will, in fact, ‘be all right.’  And still we don’t do that really honest look at Self – because to do that can be brutal.  And a lot of us are at the point where we can’t deal with ‘brutal’ anymore.

For many, it’s been a year of hardship.  Of lost jobs, of insecurity.  Of not knowing when or if it’s all going to get back to normal.  If it will ever get back to normal – and what is normal anyway and do we really want to go back to that?

But we have seen fighting, and death, and finger pointing, ‘Not me – you’re the one to blame for this, not me.” We’ve seen family members and loved ones struggling and we’ve not been able to even go give them a hug.  We’ve seen separation, division and people forced to hide behind a mask – the physical representation of the masks we all wear when we don’t show our true selves.  We’ve seen those buried fears rising up and exploding out in bigotry and hatred.

2020 is a year that it will take a long time to recover from.

And so it probably seems strange that I can say, in all honesty, that 2020 has been the best year I have ever experienced.

2020 is the year that I finally stepped out of my metamorphic cocoon and brought myself to a place where I can prepare to fly.

I’ve spent many years struggling with the experiences and the emotions of my past, and on 7th January 2020 the stage was set for me to move away from that past.  To start my journey forward towards the future I want.  On that day, my divorce came through and my decision to legally change my name, to become known by my Spirit-given name was also approved.  For me that was an amazing fresh start in a fresh new year that was filled with possibilities.

And then COVID happened. 

Media had a field day and drove the fears of the Collective to new heights.  But I had avoided news media for almost 40 years.  I had no idea what was happening in the worlds of finance or politics, so I missed most of that media-fuelled fear. 

And lock-down?  Well, that was fantastic for me.  Given half a chance I’d be a hermit – as long as I had access to the internet.  I avoid people when ever I can anyway so suddenly having the freedom to indulge that was really energising for me.  I loved it.  I had the opportunity to live without clocks, without time restrictions.  I could eat when hungry, sleep when tired without being concerned about functioning within society.  I could study and research; spend more time in meditation; start to teach myself Qi Gong and so much more.

I’m unemployed.  I live on welfare which in Australia is an amount roughly half of what is considered to be bread-line living.  I’m not old enough to retire, but I’m too old to be a serious contender in the race to gain a job.  COVID brought a financial bonus.  Abundance. Here in Australia a temporary increase in unemployment benefit for 6 months brought my income up to almost bread-line level and that felt like I had been given riches.  It felt like a really heavy weight had lifted and it has allowed me to prepare for next year, when that COVID supplement is removed.  I’ve built a garden – I only grow things I can eat.  I’ve learned to re-purpose cast-off items and as a result I’ve been asked to head up a team showcasing those skills as works of art.  I’ve gained in so many ways.

I’ve gained in confidence.  I recognise what I still need to work on, but I’ve left the majority of my fears behind.  I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone with the Zoom Chats for the International Koalition of Krones. 

2020 has, for me, been a year of finally putting the jigsaw pieces together.  It’s been a time-out-of-time that has allowed me to complete my metamorphosis into the real me. A metamorphosis which, like the caterpillar, reduces one to sludge and from which you have the opportunity to rebuild yourself in any way you want.  2020 has been the year where I broke free of my cocoon and started to step out onto the tree branch and spread my wings.

And to complete the year I was gifted with the opportunity to meet with a group of people from nine different countries who have learned to work together to achieve their goals. Nine groups with a deep connection to our planet and to all Beings who live on her. Nine individual groups who have formed a Group Collective Conscious Mind and the whole has become far greater that the individuals.

Seeing these peoples meeting and interacting for the greater good of all was so beautiful I could barely contain my emotion. My Heart Sang. Seeing the Respect given to each other – and especially to those Elders who are revered filled me with hope. THIS. THIS is the way forward.

And so we venture into 2021.

 A Year of Creation through the use of Conscious Control of Sacred Sound.

This Blog is based upon my IKoK message during this Zoom Chat https://youtu.be/zp3LwLqC1Fw

May you have a wonderful Christmas time and you are free to take down masks and show yourself fully to friends, family and other loved ones.

Gy’ Shé em

Auri’An

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