Posted in 2020

The Fear will Kill You

I was going to post this yesterday, but my computer fell over and I decided that the Universe was stopping me. Today I see why. It’s just got crazy in Europe and the USA. Schools, theme parks, supermarkets….
Meanwhile, in Australia, in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Debacle our Government has announced that it is going to do it’s level best to support and maintain the economy with a $7.6 BILLION injection.

But Honestly? It’s still the fear that will kill you.

Have you read Bruce Lipton’s Biology of Belief? Man that man makes some sense – and when you understand just how much that fear affects you physically – and especially your immune response – you will start to realise just why you need to start thinking logically and not through that Fight or Flight response.

So. What are you afraid of? That you will die? Yep, that MAY happen, especially if you are elderly, infirm, have a compromised immune system – but heck, we are all going to die at some time. Why panic buy toilet paper? CV doesn’t give you the trots as far as I know. The majority of people will get a cold. Granted, it could be a real hum-dinger and you’ll feel like shit for a few weeks, but something like 99% of people will get over it.

The media are having a field day. Instead of remaining positive – or even neutral – and letting us all know of the thousands of people who are recovering, they focus on the few who are not. This is a time of change for the media – a time when we should be standing up and telling them to start reporting without all the hype. To stop inciting that fear. How do we do that? By not buying into that fear.

Fatalistic? Not a chance. I’m going to do everything possible to avoid getting this cold – just like I have done since 1997 when I last had a cold. I make sure I THOROUGHLY wash my hands. I’ll probably stop indiscriminately hugging people. I’ll support my immune system by doing my level best not to buy into the fear. I haven’t gone panic-buying toilet paper, water or anything else. If I do that – well apart from promoting that fear response, I am perhaps depriving someone else from having those things. How selfish can a human be when they are riding the wave of fear.

So – that was today’s little spat – here is what I wrote yesterday……

You won’t often see me writing about my fears.  Just writing about them does, to my way of thinking, give energy to those fears.  It brings them right to the front of my attention and as a result it makes them grow.  Some people will tell me that ignoring them doesn’t make them go away either – and that is perfectly right.  This is why Fear is such a tricky energy to deal with.

My work in this life is helping people to deal with fear.  I help folk whose bodies have reacted to years of fear by falling over – becoming ill.  Yes, I hold qualifications that help me to guide others, but I am also the product of over 60 years of living in fear.  In my mind, that kind of makes me an expert. 

An expert.  Unfortunately, in our current society just about everyone is an expert in fear.  We are swamped by it day in and day out to the extent that most people no longer even recognise it until something like the Coronavirus comes along and the media has a field day.  Fear sells far more than sex ever will.  Think about it. It’s fear, not sex that caused Australia’s entire stock of toilet paper to be sold in days.  Just think about how ridiculous it is that people stock up to that extent on toilet paper – I should have thought that if you needed to stock up on anything, it would be soap and paracetamol.

I find it quite fascinating: unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last 20 years, everyone knows about how the Fight or Flight Response works and how the long-term affects of living with stress and anxiety issues (caused by fear) affect your physical health as well as your mental health, yet we fall for it every time.  We are addicted to it.  Addicted to the cocktail of hormones that flood our bodies when fear hits.  We watch fear-based movies; read fear-based books, our advertising is fear-based (especially where women are concerned); politics, TV, religion, wars, food shortages, unemployment, the weather…..  Every which way we turn we are bombasted with something that invokes fear.

I live in Australia.  I see the toilet paper fiasco and I’ve posted a couple of ‘funnies’ on Facebook about it – only to get lambasted by those who are travelling that fear-based road.  “I’m not fearful” they say, “just being prepared.” Well, my friends, if you need to be ‘prepared’ by buying trolley-loads of toilet paper, I’d say that there’s a whole lot of fear going on!

I’m not going to rabbit on here about how the Energy side of this works – I’ve written plenty of other articles here in my blog on that topic – All I’m going to say here is please, be realistic.  Unless you are old and/or have a compromised immune system you are unlikely to have anything more than a really bad cold.  And that’s if you even catch this thing!

So now, let me tell you something.  This is how you make fear work for you.  You tell it that it has no power over you.  Fear is the bottom-most rung on the Energy Ladder and you exist way above that.  Then you set your intention that this fear-based stuff is not going to enter your energy field.  Physically you make sure that you do your bit by maintaining good, sound cleanliness practices like thorough hand-washing and not touching your face and then you set your intention that you will not become ill.

By setting this intention – and believing in it with every single molecule of your being – you are emotionally supporting your body; you are physically supporting your body with your good hygiene practices and you are spiritually protecting your body by maintaining your high Energy frequency.

How do I know this works?  Up until 1997 I, regularly as clockwork, had two colds every year.  In that year my husband became terminally ill with cancer.  His specialist told me that with his compromised immune system it was very important that he not even catch a cold.  It was then that I started strictly observing hand-washing / face touching hygiene.  I set the intention that I would not ever catch even a cold.  I re-married in 2004 and one of my guests flew in from Afghanistan where she was deployed in a military hospital.  She inadvertently brought in an extra guest – bird flu.  That one I caught.  Other than that bird flu I have not had a cold or flu since I set that intention in 1997. 

That’s how I know it works.  I’d had a choice.  I could become fearful, watchful and incredibly aware of every little sniffle; constantly giving energy to the fear that I would catch a cold and be responsible for probably shortening my husband’s life, or I could chose not to be fearful and thereby boosting and supporting my own immune system by not allowing those FFR hormones to flood my body.

You all have exactly that same choice.  You can worry about Coronavirus; you can focus on it by reading every article, checking out every ‘cure’; stocking up with toilet paper – in other words you can make it a focus for your life at this time.  And anyone who knows about the Law of Attraction will know that what you put out there, you attract. 

Or you can tell fear to take a hike.  You are aware of the virus – heck if you’ve ever had a common cold (and who hasn’t) well, you’ve already had a run-in with one type of Coronavirus!  You know already it’s only the old and the already-compromised who are at risk of fatality; that 99% of people who get this just have the symptoms of a bad cold;  you can practice good hygiene and then STOP GIVING IT ENERGY.   Don’t attract what you don’t want by always having it in your field!

And now – I’ve given this enough Energy.  I’m off to wash my hands.

Posted in 2019

Helping You – 6

I thank you for your patience – I needed to lay the background down for you over the last few posts so that you know that digging yourself out of that dark hole of depression, anxiety and stress is not only about what is going on in your head – it’s also about what is going on in your body!

Last issue I let you into a little bit of my life – which has been filled with stress, anxiety and depression issues.  I got out of that dark hole.  There’s still a lot of stress in my life but now I can deal with it without getting overwhelmed.  And this is what I want to show you. 

For me I had to start from a very dark place.  In chronic pain, unable to walk more than 4-5 steps, depressed, a whole heap of physical problems ranging from severe food intolerances, migraine, chronic fatigue.  I was popping pills by the bucket-load.  That was what first changed.  With the guidance of my doctor (yes, I had a lot of arguments with her about this, and I would NEVER advocate stopping prescribed meds – there are very good reasons why some medication shouldn’t be stopped) I slowly cut down on meds.  It took me two years but eventually I was medication free.  I was controlling my pain through meditation.  I didn’t realise I was meditating – I was simply breathing through the pain. 

I started pushing my physical activity. I started walking to the door and back.  A few days later I made it to the lift and back.  In small increments over a 4 month period I eventually was able to walk about 1km.  Belly dancing was next on my list of activities.  Yes – using belly dance as a therapy is how I ended up teaching it here in Cardwell!  Eventually I was running a small holiday apartment complex, cleaning, making beds and the mum of two very huge Newfoundland dogs.  Dancing, working, cycling, walking the dogs – it seemed I lived an active life.  I’ll never been in that top 5% of fittest people again and I still live my life in chronic pain – but you know what?  I can walk.  How cool is that!!!

So what can you do to start this journey.  The first and the hardest step is to decide that you are going to get your life back.  You need to decide that you are in charge of your physical and your emotional well being. 

I’m an Holistic Counsellor.  That means that I don’t get you to dig into the painful past unless you want to go there.  I am far more concerned with how you feel RIGHT NOW – and how we can work together to make it better.  So if you have problems with stress, anxiety, depression, chronic pain – you now have a choice.  This is your first step toward either recovering or remaining as you are. 

WARNING – this is where I get tough. 

It’s a hard choice and you need to be super clear and honest with yourself.  You have to work out if you are actually comfortable where you are.  I know that on the face of it, it sounds silly, but lots of people are actually happy being unhappy!  It’s what they know; it’s what they are comfortable with.  Some part of your body doesn’t work or you feel depressed – you go give those problems to the doctor and if you are lucky you’ll get some pills to pop. 

Is this you?  Or do you want to take charge of your own health – physical and emotional?  Are you prepared to do the work needed to turn things around?  It’s not hard work and it doesn’t required lots of sweat!  But it does require your determination to succeed.

So that is your homework this week.  Make a decision.  The first, and I believe, the hardest step to your recovery is making this decision and to decide you have the determination to carry it through.  The rewards are huge!

In the next post I’ll start to give you some of the tools that will help you once you have made that so important decision that you ARE going to get back your zest; that you DO want to live a fuller and happier and more fulfilled life.



Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Helping You – 3

Helping You – 4

Helping You – 5



Posted in 2019

Helping You – 5

Over the last 4 posts, we’ve had a good look at what happens in your body when you go into overwhelm.  You know that feeling, it’s when everything gets on top of you and you just want to burst into tears and hibernate somewhere until it all goes away.  Doesn’t matter if its work, kids, school, finances, partner issues, illness, chronic pain or a sabre toothed tiger popping up in the supermarket.  Your body reacts exactly the same – it hops into the Fight or Flight Response at warp speed plus.

If you want to know more about the Fight or Flight Response (FFR) follow the links below to my previous articles on this topic

Last issue we touched upon some of the ways we actually keep ourselves in that Fight or Flight Response (FFR) situation and in this issue I want to look at how that constant low-grade FFR affects your health.

Actually it’s easy.  Pretty much every thing you have a health issue with can be directed back to your lifestyle with a big emphasis on the amount of stress you deal with.

I know someone who has been in that Stress Response (FFR) pretty much all her life.  It has badly affected her health, and I am going to give you the short version of those problems – and the way she climbed out of that cycle.  I know this person very well indeed.  It’s me.  I tell you this not for sympathy, but rather to show you that you can be in the lowest place and still climb out if you are prepared to put in the work. 

I was emotionally abused as a child, but it was so insidious I didn’t even realise it was abuse until a few years ago.

I lived in a town on the Cold War strike list.  The threat of a nuclear bomb landing on my home town was very real.  We lived in the shadow of nuclear power stations; built nuclear submarines.  The IRA and Greenpeace activists were a constant worry. 

I was a classical ballet dancer – with all the demands and stresses of that profession.

In 1980 I found myself on the floor of a shopping mall in the UK in the middle of racial riots.  Noise, shrieks, glass windows crashing to the floor, youths trying to kill each other, missiles being thrown.  It took another 20 years before I was diagnosed with PTSD.  I had full-scale panic attacks almost every day as I pushed myself to live as close to a normal life as possible. 

I’m an Empath and the world news of that era – war, famine, torture were constant on the news – I couldn’t handle it and had a breakdown.

My husband was diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer.  I nursed him at home.  During this time there was also problems with money, threats to have our house taken off us and so much more.

I collapsed, paralysed for several hours on the bathroom floor.  I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  I had been an elite athlete; I trained with Olympic athletes and ranked in the top 5% fittest people on Earth.  Now I couldn’t walk across the room. 

Recently, there’s been really tough financial situations; another breakdown; relationship issues…..  the list is ongoing.

I say that I have lived my life in constant fear.  To a certain extent this is true, but there were also joys and love and laughter.

One day my doctor told me I needed to stop working and start using a wheelchair.  That is when I turned my life around.  A wheelchair was not for me.

This seems long winded, but believe me it is the short version! 

So what did I do to get myself out of this stressful, anxiety-laden life?  That first step is the hardest – I recognised that I needed to stop living in fear and do something about where I’d ended up.  I had to work it out myself as I had no help.  It’s absolutely not a quick fix. This work takes strength and determination.  And it starts with the breathing exercise I gave you in the very first post in this series!  But MAN it is worth the effort.

More next time – I’ve run out of space!

Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Helping You – 3

Helping You – 4



Posted in 2019

Helping You – 4

In the last edition I talked about the cascade of events that happens when the Sympathetic Nervous System kicks in with Fight or Flight Response – how it’s like stomping on the accelerator of your car.  I also mentioned how the Parasympathetic Nervous System cuts in to help calm everything down once the danger, or perceived danger, has passed.

What I want to talk about today is what happens when we keep getting triggered and the parasympathetic nervous system doesn’t get a chance to apply the brake!

Basically, the sh*^ hits the fan!  If, for whatever reason, we don’t realise that there really isn’t anything dangerous going on, something called the HPA Axis kicks in.  The Hypothalamus get back into the picture and notifies the Pituitary gland which lets the Adrenals know they need to release cortisol into our system.  That means we keep our foot on the gas pedal and our body stays ramped up for action.  And it pretty much stays that way until we can work out that the danger is passed.  When the all-clear happens, the adrenals stop producing cortisol and as that fades away we can relax again.

In modern day society, we are not likely to meet a sabre-toothed tiger.  Our FFR is far more likely to be the result of someone’s dodgy driving and even that can be fairly short term.  If FFR is something that happens every now and then and only lasts about 15 minutes – there’s no real problem, but we LIVE in FFR.  We rarely, if ever, allow that cortisol to fade away and fully relax.  Our FFR triggers are so commonplace that we accept them as a way of life – money worries, kids, spouse, the electricity bill, the boss getting on our case, being unemployed, menopause, empty nest, retiring, chronic pain.  The list is on-going.  I’m sure you can think up some more.  And, even more disturbing we voluntarily put ourselves in FFR through the things we watch on TV – movies, news – and the bun-fights we get into on social media.  Then, when you include the pressure we put on each other and ourselves to conform to a certain ideal….  Too tall / too short; too thin / too fat;  growing older, struggling with diets and disliking the view in the mirror.  We have been programmed to live in the FFR.  For sure, it’s a mild version but it is still scary in it’s implications for our health.

And that my friends is the next topic before we really look at what we can do about it.

Are you still breathing?  Three deep breaths remember ❤



Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Helping You – 3



Posted in 2019

Helping You – 3

NOTE: My local paper (for which these articles were first written) started off very small just a few months ago and is growing beautifully. Unfortunately that means that I no longer get a full page for my column! All is good though – a link will be provided to this blog so all my readers can carry on following…..
Downside though is that I have to flood this blog site will all the catch-up articles!!! Happy reading!

We’ve spoken about the Fight or Flight Response and briefly discussed how your body’s defence systems by-pass your brain, scooting into action before your logical brain has time to wake up and notice what is happening.  In this post I’d like to dig a bit deeper into how this works.

The Fight or Flight Response (FFR) has a very serious job to do.  It is our first line of defence when something potentially bad is happening or about to happen.  It puts our body into ‘high alert’ by flooding our system with adrenaline and a whole cocktail of other hormones and making sure that blood is diverted away from your gut and other non-essential parts such as your brain,  Yep – your body knows that your brain is useless if your head has been chomped by that sabre-toothed tiger.  In such dangerous conditions your legs are the most important parts of your body!  The problem, though, is that we no longer know how to switch that response off.

Think of a dog.  These guys are masters of dealing with FFR.  Pooch is lying in the sun, snoring, twitching feet, legs every which way and seemingly without a care in the world when something triggers him.  He shoots up, looking totally confused for about half-a-second and stands on high alert – tail fluffed up, hair sticking out so he looks bigger; maybe even barking.  And then he realises that it was just a dream, or that there’s no danger and with a very sheepish look he settles back down and two minutes later he’s snoring again.

What’s happened is that FFR response was triggered, but as soon as his mind caught up and worked out that all was safe in his world, his body reacted by relaxing.

The jargon stuff is that the Sympathetic Nervous System jumped into action letting the Amygdala know something was up.  The Amygdala notified the Command Centre (the Hypothalamus) which sends in the solders to wake up the Adrenals who flood the body with epinephrine (also known as adrenalin).  Epinephrine flooding your body is a bit like stamping down on the accelerator of your car – nought to sixty in no time!   In my mind, this is probably the most efficient system we have in our body!  There is a whole cascade of stuff that happens, almost instantaneously,  without us being in the least bit aware of it.  Then, when the cerebral cortex (the logical part of your brain) catches up and realises there isn’t really any danger, the Parasympathetic Nervous System kicks in and allows the body to settle back down to it’s normal state.

But what happens when the body doesn’t settle back down?  When we keep triggering the FFR?  This is what our modern society is constantly doing – and we will look at that in the next edition.

Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Posted in 2019

Helping You – 2

In Helping You – 1, I spoke about a very simple breathing exercise you can do when things threaten to overwhelm you.  Breathing is so easy – we are all masters at it but we tend to forget all about it when faced with stuff getting too much for us.

The reason that stuff gets too much is something you’ve probably heard of – The Fight or Flight Response, but if you are not too sure what it is, here’s the speedy version…

Millions of years ago, when sabre-toothed tigers roamed the world, having a bit of a day-dream whilst you were going about the chore of staying alive was rather dangerous.  Then (and now in some situations) the FFR was, literally, a life-saver.  The problem is that if we just relied on our eyes to tell us that a tiger is hiding behind a tree and then factored in the time it took for our brains to process that info and get us moving out of the way, we’d be kitty dinner.

Our bodies constantly take in information at a rapid rate – through our eyes, our skin, sound, smell and taste.  Although we can process this information without really even thinking about it, it still takes a micro-second too long to get us to physically respond fast enough to that possible danger.

Did you note that I said possible danger?  That’s because the FFR actually gathers all that information, totally by-passes most of your brain functions and whacks the body into high-gear, flooding it with a cocktail of enzymes, dragging blood away from your gut and pushing it all into your arms and legs ready so you can get the heck out of there; thump the tiger on the nose or maybe freeze solid in the hope it won’t spot you. 

And THEN your logical brain picks up that something is wrong and gets into the game by studying all that information and deciding that it’s not a sabre-toothed tiger, it’s just someone in the supermarket wearing a leopard-skin onesy!  (Yep – still scary!).  What is supposed to happen next is that your body relaxes, more enzymes are released neutralising that first rush of adrenalin and you, feeling rather silly and maybe a bit nauseous, go back to choosing which lettuce to buy. 

Those deep breaths I spoke of in the last edition?  They are designed to give your logical brain time to catch up and realise that all the stuff that is happening isn’t life-threatening,  just really frustrating.  It gives your body time to allow those FFR enzymes time to calm down and for you to not blow your top.

I’m going to talk a bit more about this in the next post in this series because, in our modern world, those FFR enzymes are running almost constantly for many of us and are affecting our health. 

(This Helping You series was written for my local town newspaper – Coral Sea Sun, but as I thought it may help readers here too…. here it is!!!)