Tag: Emotions

Posted in 2019

Tears

Posted on by Auri'An

I have been a person easily moved to tears all my life. Many situations move me in such a way, but especially those situations where I feel vulnerable. It is the common belief that such tears are a sign of weakness that has lead many people to belittle me and also, to under-estimate me.


For most of my life I have worked hard not to allow those tears to flow so easily and the result was disastrous – I reached a point where I couldn’t stop them. I had a breakdown 5 years ago.


It’s been a long journey back from that dark place and tears have, many times, lead the way. But these have often been cathartic. A release of emotions too long squished down. The releasing of such emotions eventually allowed me to examine them, to understand why I feel so deeply and to learn to flip almost every situation that previously caused me so many problems. Instead of squishing the emotion, bottling it up until it explodes in tears, I seek the lesson, the joy, the love in each event. That light is always there even though I sometimes have to dig deep to find it.


The result is someone who is (most of the time) standing in her Power. Who understands her strengths – and her weaknesses. Who understands that tears are not a sign of weakness, but are often a sign that there is work to do.


Recently I was talking with someone I hold in especial high regard; we discussed one of the areas where I feel vulnerable and I felt the tears form. There were many choices before me at that time. I could be embarrassed and feel weak for showing these tears and therefore squash them down. I could let them flow and tell myself I was being honest with my emotions, but also aware that if I did that there would be an element of “Poor Me” which is something I abhor. Or I could chose to see the lesson, the compassion and yes, the Love that my vulnerable situation has to show me – the “What is possible from this position?”


From a position of vulnerability there IS a whole heap of possibilities, they just have to be recognised and the work to change that area of vulnerability to be started. Recognition is the first step.

Auri’An (Sue Thomson) lives in Cardwell, Queensland and is the Founder of Ki’An Healing and Helping You.  She is a Meditation Therapist and Holistic Counsellor, Spiritual Teacher/Healer, Energy Healer, Belly Dance teacher…….  

Contact Auri’An by email: kianhealing@gmail.com  to book a private consultation.

Posted in 2019

Growing-up

Posted on by Auri'An

As a child and as a young adult you learn to make your way in the world.  You learn to see and to be seen.  You learn how to make your presence felt.  You learn how to argue and, very importantly, you learn how to forgive.

As I grew up I did not learn these things.  I learned that I was the pretty little ballet dancer, gifted by many things – reading and writing at just 2 years of age, playing the piano at 3.  I did not learn how to use my voice.  I learned to fade into the background.  I learned that my opinions and thoughts were not important.  I learned to be a shadow on the fringe.  Growing up, I knew I was loved but that made me even more confused – how could I be loved when I was on the outside looking in?  Even now my family still think I am the weird one.  The hippy.  Many of my generation understand what I am saying – at least those who are First Wave Blue Ray Indigo.  I could be writing their story.

See?  I’ve just underscored my weirdness in the eyes of many.

The thing is, the vast majority of people do learn these early life lessons.  It’s usually pretty intense during those teenage years as you start to spread your wings and grow towards the adult you are going to be.  But when you don’t get to grow in this way you either stultify and become the person you were trained to be or you find your own way to grow.  And that growth can be even more painful, especially as it generally last many, many more years and you don’t have the protective wings of family to support you as you grow.

And making even harder – I had absolutely no idea what it means to be empathic.  Very empathic.  For the first almost-60 years of my life I lived in a state of overwhelm.  I lived in a constant state of emotion, mainly fear, and had absolutely no way to express it.  I now suspect that a lot of the emotions that overwhelmed me were not even mine.

In life, everything seemed normal.  I fell in love, married, had a child, ran a successful business, emigrated and then lost my husband to cancer.  Then I remarried and subsequently moved through all sorts of drama.  I also suffered from undiagnosed PTSD, had a mental breakdown and had absolutely no idea how to deal with the wash of emotions that I couldn’t escape from. 

I have moved a long way from that younger Sue, and that too has brought about its own sets of drama.  I am not the person I was.  I am not the Sue that my family and friends of years gone by would recognise and as a result, most of the people I loved best have moved away.  They do not understand this new, stronger, Sue.  I had another mental breakdown in 2014 and the journey back from that has been difficult but it has also been such an amazing journey.  This is where my growth really took off.

Today I discovered just how far behind I have left that childhood Sue.  The one who watched from the outside, who couldn’t express herself, who burst into tears at the slightest emotional intensity.  Today, my husband visited me and told me he had found someone else.  It’s really strange, the very things that had driven a wedge between us – mainly my spiritual beliefs – are one of the things he admires in this new lady. 

Our separation is fairly new – at least it is from a legal standpoint – and recently we had a major blow-up.  The sort of thing that just a year ago would have had me bawling my eyes out and feeling totally distressed.  Instead I stood up and said what I thought.  I argued in a clear and concise way without a heap of emotion getting in the way.  Probably a first in my life!!!   Then I got down to doing the Energy work.  I meditated, lovingly removed cords, re-wrote our Sacred Contract, practised Ho’oponopono and it was obvious, even the day after the argument, that there was an improvement.  And today, just a couple of weeks after that event, when my husband told me he had met another person – I was genuinely happy for them both and deeply wish them well.  I felt the love and forgiveness wash through me and I knew that I had finally grown into the adult I was meant to be.

Posted in 2019

Ripples

Posted on by Auri'An
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It fascinates me, watching the ripples that move through humanity.  How the action of one person or one small event can set off a cascade of responses reaching wider and wider.

The first time I noticed this effect was when my first husband died.  I’d nursed him through his illness and some family members had given me so much love and support, taking on the little things such as cleaning the house and running errands, so that I was free to look after Ian.  This love and care is what formed the first Ripple Event that I noticed.

One of my Sister-in-Laws had read a newspaper article on a spate of home break-ins that were targeting the homes of those who were grieving.  These low-life folk were entering the homes whilst the family were at the funeral.  My SIL was worried, so she called upon a friend to ‘house-sit’ for the few hours we were away in order to farewell my husband.  The friend was very happy to help but had to make some arrangements to get her children picked up from school and looked after – so she called another friend.  That friend was also very happy to help, but she too had to change her plans…..  and so the ripple spread out formed from the Love and Care of one person.  I have no idea how far those ripples spread in order for me to feel safe that my home would not be attacked during the funeral, but I will always be grateful for these unknown and unsung heros.

That was over 20 years ago and I have remained aware and fascinated by this Ripple Effect.  It mainly tends to work quietly in the background – people helping people helping people – but sometimes it can also cause tsunamis of pain.

I know of a person who was in deep pain.  She kept the pain bottled up and never actually told the person who was inadvertently and unknowingly causing that pain.  Eventually it all became too much to contain and she closed all avenues of contact, even moving to a new town.  It was her choice, her way of dealing with something she needed to stop, but the ripples from this event are huge.  They spread out first to the person who was causing the pain.  Remember – that person was totally unaware they were the cause of any form of anguish and indeed has no idea what they did to cause such pain.  Being told of this would have been a shock but nothing like the pain of being discarded and blocked from her family.  She is still unaware of what caused the person to cut her off, and that causes her to now live in pain.   Some would call it Karma – you cause pain, you receive pain and I’d absolutely agree except that surely, this could have been healed by talking.  And so the ripples moved out.

In trying to explain that she really wants to resolve this, in trying to understand the cause behind this person’s actions, those ripples have gained momentum and spread out to other family members, causing huge arguments and rifts and the separation of grandchildren from grandparents.  Those family members then are more emotionally invested in this than before – and the ripples spread outwards.  Such a sad situation.  The pain one person kept hidden has now affected many.

I watched this Ripple Effect at play in my life yesterday.  I have a friend who was recalled to hospital after being discharged a few days ago.  A “get back here now, we’ve found something that needs checking out” type of call that must have sent waves of shock and worry through my friend.  She asked if I would drive her into the hospital.  There is no way that I wouldn’t help out, but I was up to my eyeballs in a business audit.  To take my friend to hospital I had to ask the assistance of 3 other people who all responded to immediately help out.  Their plans also had to change spreading those ripples.

So what are these ripples?  They are Energy.  Everything is Energy, we all know this, but this is Energy made visible through the actions of humanity.  Who knows how far those ripples spread before they peter out.  Do they ever peter out?  Perhaps they join with other, similar ripples affecting a deeper change in society?

From what I have observed, the ripples caused by pain and fear are huge and spread out so very easily – humans are conditioned to respond to fear.  It’s a survival trait.  But nowadays our fear is not from the chance meeting with a Sabre Toothed Tiger, but it’s on every billboard, on every TV programme, in every magazine and plastered right through social media.  We live in a bath of fear with tsunami ripples going every which way.

But we have the opportunity to choose.  Right now, at this point in the growth of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity, we can make a difference.  We can choose not to stir up or spread those ripples with a basis of fear.  We can choose to spread the slow, constant, smooth and gentle ripples formed by actions coming from Love and Care.

How do we do this?  We consider our every action and the effect it will have on our family, friends and neighbours.  Will this action cause tsunami ripples or gentle ripples?  Can I take potential tsunami and calm it?  Will this action stir up waves needlessly.  Do I need to send out tsunami waves to affect a positive change or will constant gentle actions ultimately bring a better result?

Considering your actions, being aware of what is best for you is good – but be also aware of the Ripple Effect and choose wisely.  Each choice you make affects far more than just you.

Gy’ Shé em

Sue Thomson

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Posted in 2018

Home Alone

Posted on by Auri'An

niklas-hamann-418782-unsplashSome days are hard.

Christmas is one of those days for me. It is a day filled with loss and aloneness.  This year was especially hard and I am disappointed in myself.

I don’t “do” Christmas and this year Spirit has guided me into understanding more about why this is.  In fact, over the last few weeks, Spirit has shown me a low-frequency Energy that I carry around with me, and have done so for most of my life.  It is such a part of me that I haven’t recognised it. It’s been bottled up so tight for so long I simply don’t see it.  I see it in others, but not in Self and that has to change.  You can’t work to better yourself, to grow, if you don’t see the very thing you need to work at.  This low-frequency Energy is Anger.  I can talk another time about how that Anger grew, about why I haven’t recognised it, but that is a tale for another day.  It is enough right now that I have recognised that emotion.  It means I can now work to heal that pain.

I am normally a glass-half-full person.  Even in the bleakest times I can usually find something to be grateful for.  I can usually see beauty in the dullest of days.  But Christmas Day?  Man that is hard.  Especially when faced with Face Book.  All those families coming together in Joy and celebration.  It’s confusing.  I am so glad and happy that others can enjoy that closeness with family but I am also deeply saddened that I don’t have family around.  Normally I can deal with it, mainly because it’s usually just another working day for me.  This year, I had no work to do.  It’s my life choices that have brought me such a Christmas Day, but this year I wallowed.

Loss comes in many forms.  I emigrated from England to Australia and in doing so, lost the family Christmases of childhood.  Australian Christmas is in the middle of summer – that is something I can’t get my head around – so many of my Christmas traditions are lost also simply because of the heat.  I could have made new traditions, but didn’t really get the chance.  My husband passed from cancer not long after we arrived in Australia and his family made it clear – and they chose to do this at Christmas, the first one after he died – that we were outsiders.  Or rather, If I am being honest (and I need to be) one member of the family made it clear we were not a part of that family.  I think the others told themselves that it was best if they left us alone in our grief.  I couldn’t get past the hurt that was done to my daughter that day and it was from this point that I decided that I wouldn’t “do” Christmas any more.  You can kid yourself that you are fooling others into believing that not ‘doing’ Christmas is a choice against commercialism (and I don’t go for the religious stuff either) but I don’t think that many folk realise that for me it is a defensive thing.  If you don’t do it, it can’t hurt.  How screwed up is that?

More loss.  This year I lost a close family member.  We have some barriers to break through and it appears that she is not prepared to talk about them, to try to fix them.  I didn’t even know they existed, at the level they obviously do for her, until early December.  And this is the trigger for my despondency, but it also where I found my bottled up Anger.  It is reflected in my daughter.  I found it in my mother a few years ago.  I remember that I’ve seen it in my grandmother – and experienced it at her hand.  And if you look closely at the one picture I have of my Great Grandmother, it’s right there in her eyes too.  I hope my daughter can break that trait.  She has the strength.

But now, it’s Boxing Day.  The day where tradition says you can return unwanted gifts.  I return the gifts of loneliness and dismal introspection.  I think it may take longer to return the Anger – that is something I don’t want anymore, but it will take some work to loosen.  It was a horrible day, yesterday, but this morning I realise my glass is still half full.  I had been given the opportunity to review these losses.  Some are profound and can’t be changed, some can be worked on and hopefully overcome.  But my decision, yesterday, to wallow in that loss and anger was a choice I made.  Unknowingly, yes –  but still a choice.  Today I choose differently.

I have started the Energy work on this.  It is a Karmic Imbalance that needs to be brought back into balance.  And that is one of the reasons why I am here in this lifetime.  To balance Karmic Imbalance.  I do have help in this.  I need it.

I asked my sister to be an intermediary, and sent a letter to this hurting family member.  A bridge, I hope.  A place from which to grow a better understanding of each other.  As adults.

So I will stay away from Face Book for another day – I’m not quite ready to take Joy in other people’s happiness but I do not plan to allow another Christmas to knock me so low.  If next year it looks as if it will be a lonely day again, then I’ll do something about it.

So often we see meme’s about remembering those who are alone over Christmas.  My last 20 Christmases have been difficult, but this year I learned the depth of loneliness this day can bring.  I didn’t like myself as someone wallowing in pain.  That pain has been with me for those past 20 Christmases, but this is the first year that I have faced it.  For the next 20 Christmases I will seek ways to build new traditions.

The Knowledge of my Anger, Despondency, Aloneness – and my wallowing in such low-frequency emotions IS a gift.  A gift of deeper understanding that I can now take out into the world.

A Gift of Knowledge, given in this Era of New Beginnings and New Knowledge.  I will NOT be returning this particular Gift on this Boxing Day.  Knowledge is far too precious.  And the opportunity for New Beginnings is the best Gift of all.

Posted in 2018

2018 – A Year of Change

Posted on by Auri'An

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Gosh it’s been a while since I last wrote a blog article.  So much stuff has happened and despite heaps of good intentions, not a lot of writing has made it to this blog!  As I do every year, I hereby set my intention to be more diligent in the coming year.

As many other folk will also do, here is my review of my 2018 – a year that could have been the end-game of a very intense and fraught decade of disasters.  Instead it has been an amazing year.  As I think about the catalogue of woes of this year, I could be forgiven, I think, for curling up, burying my head in the sand and refusing to move into the world, but something happened on 8th January that completely changed how I viewed my world.

Backing up to the end of 2017:  I was living separate from my husband – a decision initially brought about by work, but which became comfortable – in a gorgeous old Queenslander workers’ cottage  three hours’ drive from where my husband ran our holiday accommodation business.  I lived alone with my dog; was studying, offering holistic counselling and spiritual healing and growing into my Self for what was probably the first time in my life.  On December 31st my husband called asking for help with cleaning the holiday apartments as the regular cleaner had been offered another job.  So, 1st January 2018 saw me packing up the bare minimum, throwing the dog in the car and heading back to Hervey Bay.

So many memories of living in that place, and not many of them good memories, so by 8th  January I was emotionally struggling and decided to go to the beach and meditate.  I was really low and although I was far from being suicidal, if the Mother Ship had landed next to me, scooped me up and flown me off to other parts of the Galaxy I’d have gladly left everything behind and gone.  I meditated on gaining more Balance in my life which had been out of control for many years.  Pretty much all my life had been a roller-coaster and I’d had enough.

Spirit sent the answer almost immediately.  I finished my meditation turned around to climb the sea wall back home and slipped on the first step breaking my ankle.  Well – not just breaking it, but doing about as thorough a job of smashing it up as you can possibly do without breaking the skin.  Long story short – I was rescued by the Fire Service, was hospitalised twice, surgery had me become the proud owner of a huge pile of titanium, two months of injecting myself in my belly every day and a total of 9 weeks with my leg stuck in the air.

Oh!  I forgot to mention that I was living with my husband and my dog (who weighed 63kg) in two small rooms at the back of the work office.  No proper kitchen, no view to outside, nowhere to move – pretty miserable.  Enforced bedrest gives you a choice.  You can wallow in self-pity or you can seek the Joy where you can.  I’d had a lifetime of self-pity, I had asked for Balance and although balancing on crutches wasn’t my plan, I realised that this was the start of my learning what I needed to learn in order for that balance to come into my life.

The year moved forward from that point – the bank threatened to foreclose on our mortgages (a whole back story there); the new owner of the business moved in and started running things, and so we needed to get out.  The minute I was relatively mobile we all piled in the car and drove the 17 hours to where my husband’s son lives.

We had absolutely no income and only had whatever belongings we had been able to fit on the back of a ute and we had to sell whatever we had in order to pay the rent.  I applied for unemployment benefit but in the meantime we sold everything including beds, table, chairs, washing machine….  You certainly discover who are true friends in such situation.

This is only the tip of the iceberg of the woes in my family, but you get the picture.  But when I was laid on the beach with that smashed ankle, moving into and out of consciousness, I felt very strongly that this was needed.  That something had to break in order to heal – and I am not talking about the various bones in my ankle!

This was one of those pivot points that everyone experiences at some time.  A time of choice.  Do I wallow, do I bewail my bad luck, do I fight or do I accept that Spirit has a plan?

I don’t see myself as a fighter.  Anything that has a feel of violence – even certain words – ties me up in knots.  I had been fighting for many years, through many traumas and with this injury I realised I had no fight left.  The Law of Attraction was in place – the more I fought, the more stuff appeared that needed to be fought for.  So instead, I Accepted.

I accepted the weeks confined to bed.  I accepted the loss of my home and that wonderful people who are barely more than strangers, went into my house and packed up my belongings.  I accepted that it will take 2 years to get fully mobile.  I accepted that we had fought through floods, bank errors, vicious attacks from neighbours and ex-friends. I accepted the loss of our business.  I accepted the most amazing people who came into my life, sometimes just for a few minutes, sometimes for longer. Spirit-sent for sure.  I accepted more home moves; battles with Government agencies; no income and the need to cancel plans to visit family and friends.  I have accepted that some family members are not willing to help (man that one hurt, but I have accepted) and that other family members will give their all to help.  I have accepted that my Spiritual Sisters are my strongest family.

And in all this acceptance I have learned.  I have learned to see the threads that bind us together.  Stretching throughout my lifetime and the lifetimes of every single being I have come into contact with.  Stretching through all dimensions and ages, I have learned to see the tapestry that is woven that brings me to this point.  This place where I am now.

I see Balance.  My husband met someone who had work available that is exactly what I needed and gives me time still for my Spiritual work.  I am teaching people in my new town the things that are dearest to my heart such as meditation and belly dancing and greeting the Full Moon.  And the people of this new town are the most amazing, friendly, open-hearted folk.  I knew as soon as I first stepped out of the car onto the foreshore of this place that I had Work to do here.  Spiritual Work.  Within days a local lady stopped and spoke with me.  She told me that she knows I have Spiritual Work to do here and that she had been waiting for me.  We have worked together for many, many lifetimes and we both recognise this.  It is a beautiful thing.  Most of all I see the Energy of Spirit behind everything that has happened in my life – and that all things were needed for me to become who I am right now.  Today.

Slowly, the ties to the traumas of the past years are being resolved.  Some are painful, some are amazingly smooth, but one by one they are being dealt with.

And so I greet 2019 with Joy.  I am at Peace.  I survived and came out whole.  I am stronger mentally and emotionally than I have ever been.  Physically?  Lots of work to do there LOL.  12 months being physically inactive, especially when you are no spring-chicken, plays havoc with the waistline and the fitness!!!

Through the entire year, the back-bone of being willing to carry on, are those who helped: my husband’s son and his family and my Spiritual Sisters.  These are true Family.

I am starting to understand the reason I landed in this town, and the lessons I am here to understand and grow with.  I have no doubt that the year to come is likely to have its own set of problems, but I have learned deeply, the adage that everything happens for a reason.  This lesson has cropped up many times in this life, but now I am able to see the threads and the weaving that brings together a Tapestry of Life that continues to grow into it’s beautiful whole with each day that passes and each person I meet.  The difficulties of life offer you the opportunity to tie a tight knot to strengthen that tapestry; an opportunity to change the colour of the thread you have been weaving.  They enrich your life – if that is what you choose.

Posted in 2018

Which Way Forward?

Posted on by Auri'An

I wrote the following a few weeks ago when we first started to hear of children being separated from their parents as they tried to head towards a better life in the US.  It triggered a worldwide shock wave – and I am not about to get embroiled in the why’s and the finger-pointing, nor will I respond to any negative discussions that may result from this sharing of my thoughts.  These words are just my verbal meanderings as I try to sort it all out in my mind – what is the way forward?

Here in Australia, at the same time, there was outrage against the men who perpetrate crimes against women and the fears of women generally as the focus was once again turned, not towards educating men that this is not acceptable, but in educating women in the need to be more vigilant and more restricted in their actions.  Women were standing up and asking why they need to be careful, why they need to stay indoors, why should they not be free to venture outside without a male escort?

I do my best in such situation to remain outside the energy, to be the Detatched Compassionate Observer, but in the face of all this emotion it was hard to remain separate – and certainly it was hard to remain silent.  So I did what I naturally do – I wrote.

Regardless of your stance in these or similar topics I hope you will read beyond these initial thoughts of mine and to the voice I now hold in my heart that I would share with those who would like to hear.  I’m not saying I am right, heck I’m as confused as anyone else as to how this human race got themselves to this point, but I do have a few thoughts that may give you a pause for thought, an idea how you want to travel forward from this point.

This is what I wrote:

If every woman curls up and says “This is just how it is. Nothing has changed in the past and nothing will change in the future,” we, as a Collective Consciousness will choose that reality. We will be agreeing that it is ok to disempower women, that it’s OK to make women into perpetual victims. Yes, women are also taking that party line – they have been led to believe that they do not have the right to expect to be able to walk through a park at night without considering personal safety as a priority. They have been sold the concept that it is up to women to protect themselves from attack, and by default they have agreed that men hold power over them. Most who follow this path do not even see it. They do not understand that by following the ethos of “Nothing Changes” nothing WILL change.

Each individual, whether male or female, who cannot stand up and be counted in whatever way they are able to do so, is supporting the view that women (and children) don’t count.

I’m not an activist. I don’t follow world events. I am not the person who will go on marches or protests. I am the silent sister who simply adds her voice to the many other individual voices around the world saying ENOUGH. I am the sister of those who are afraid, but I am past my fear. I do not live by fear. It is no longer a part of my world. I am one individual who is part of the whole who says that the dominance over the weak, the hurting and the innocents is over.

Fear is the means that has been used for thousands of years to keep the balance in favour of those who perpetuate the fear. Those who would be rulers. This Energy we are discussing here, and that in the USA with the separation and imprisonment of children, and in almost all other parts of the planet is this Fear.

Now it is time for choice. Do we stay with fear or do we work now, raise each individual voice in whatever manner the person is drawn to do for the beneft of innocents. Do you want your daughters, and their daughters’ daughters to be able to be able to go for a run in the park, without fear? Or is your fear so great that you cannot even add your prayers to the growing movement of those who say NO MORE.

Even now, reading this it doesn’t seem unreasonable, but what if I were to tell you that even that reasonable-sounding voice is also adding to the disharmonious energy of Fear?  As too is that last sentence, because some of you will have become annoyed, angry even, at my words – “What?  That’s BS!  Everyone can fight in any way they want/feel called.”  And whilst that’s not wrong either, we have to dig deep and discover the base emotions behind our thoughts.   It is usually righteous indignation – which has the base of Fear, and without Fear, there is nothing to fight. It’s that simple.  And the sad part is that most who call out in this way don’t even realise that it is within the Energy of Fear that they are walking.

It is so very, very hard to live in this Reality and avoid Fear.  It is everywhere.  We all live in perpetual Fight or Flight Response and for some, the slightest thing can trigger anger, annoyance, even chest-puffing bluffing.  Today I saw a conversation on Face book between two people who consider themselves as “Lightworkers” – they were talking about the number of guns they have and that they were ready for whatever they thought was coming.  I also heard of other Spiritual people who talk about Love and Light – and gear up for marches against something that angers them.  And so much more in a similar vein.

It saddens me that the folk who genuinely want to do the right thing, who feel they are defending those who cannot defend themselves; who genuinely feel they can make a difference still feel the need to follow the same aggressive model that hasn’t worked but has been the norm for the last few thousand years.  They cannot see that they are not, after all, following the Goddess, the Divine Feminine, they are still feeding the world of anger, aggression and the “I am going to fight for my cause through my physicality.”

Without a doubt the events that cause us to fear, to be angry with the actions of our leaders need to stop.  I don’t think that anyone who calls themselves “Human” can disagree with that.  But do we believe – I mean truly believe – that following the male-dominated model of the last few thousand years is the right way to continue?

These, of course, are just my thoughts, my ramblings, but when I realised that the words I wrote were still feeding that anger and fear, I stopped and took a good long look at what I was hoping to achieve, and I realised that my actions in writing those words, and the way I believe these changes will come into this world are very widely different.  My words shout that we need to change this NOW.  Right Now.  Someone needs to fix this problem now so we no longer have this fear and anger in the world.  We don’t want to live like this, with this fear any more.  The underlying story of these words is like that of a child – lashing out in fear and confusion and trying, in the only way she knows how, to fix things –  but the fixing tool is broken.  It no longer works, in fact it hardly ever did work for most people.  It’s a boy-tool, male energy working through money and technology and power-games.  It no longer works and more and more people are realising that they need to find another way.

The “other way” is ultimately in the balance and harmony of the male and the female – but guys – we are riding pendulum of emotions and if we are not careful we will send the pendulum shooting too far the other way (more on that another day), but for now we need to walk our talk.

Trying to combat Fear with Anger will not work.  Love and Light do not walk hand-in-hand with guns and argument.  Peace and Calm do not blend well with dogma and dominance.  Each time we bring these together we are saying that this is the world we choose.  We are building the future reality with our actions now.  I know that the future world I want to see is not these things.

My truth, as I see it now, is that these things will not be fixed by marches and demonstrations and fear and anger.  These things will not be fixed overnight.  Heck, I don’t think these things will be fixed in my lifetime.  Or the life time of my children’s children.  But maybe, if we get it right now, then their children, my great-great grandkids, may be able to walk in freedom and balance.

We are honoured to be here right now.  This is a time of New Beginnings and New Knowledge – and we need to step up and use that New Knowledge to bring about the New Beginnings of the future of humanity.  WE are the ones to take the first steps in turning away from that old male model of aggression that has failed all but a few, and we need to continue what the Hippy / Flower Power generation started.  Peace through Unity and Love.

Through each Individual Consciousness acting through Love, Compassion, Prayer, Unity and Knowledge we will slowly move towards that time of balance.  We just need to get organised in following that peaceful route together.  And the first step is coming to Unity in how we are going to approach this matter.

For now, I Energetically support the Collective Consciousness of Humanity and when enough people get together in this way, believe me – you can see the changes starting to happen.

Posted in 2018

Flippin’ Heck!

Posted on by Auri'An

I had a wonderful deep and meaningful conversation a little while ago with friends.  Sometimes such debates will result in nothing more than joy in the talk, sometimes they send me off to research more info, sometimes the conversation just sits in a hidden corner of my mind and will jump out at me days, or even weeks later, with confirmation or an alternate view or a desire to share – such as now.  Luckily for you, dear Reader, you actually get very little of my thoughts.  How boring are those people who spew out every little thought every single day!!!

So, today’s “Deep and Meaningful” is about making the best of a bad situation.  You know those times – we all experience them – when it feels like the end of the world is about to happen and we get so overwhelmed that we just want to hibernate.  Those times when it seems like everyone is chasing you for money – and you don’t have any until pay day; when the kids seem to only know one word “Muuuuuuummmmmm”,  when you miss the bus or train and you are now going to be late for work – and the Big Boss is going to be there and you just know that you’ll get overlooked now for that promotion.  You know the sort of thing I’m talking about.  You are human, so of course you know!!!

So what is it that makes some people just deal?  Things happen and they find a way through the turmoil with barely a hair out of place?  It’s preparation – and I don’t mean preparation like having the kids lunches packed the night before or making sure you have a stash of oh-my-goodness-I’ve-missed-the-bus-need-to-get-a-taxi money hidden in your bra – I’m talking about preparing your brain so that it doesn’t get all panicky and go into Fight or Flight mode where you just can’t think!!!

Huh?

When something like that happens, your brain just can’t tell the difference between missing the bus and seeing a sabre-toothed tiger walking down the street.  Both are fearful events even though only one of them has the potential to kill you!  Your brain turns to mush, sends out panic signals, your adrenals do their thing and you get a rush of hormones flooding your body ready to get you out of the way of that tiger.  And if you haven’t trained your brain to recognise those symptoms (and the fact that there isn’t a tiger) and to stop long enough to allow your logical brain to kick in and offer an alternate solution (like getting a taxi when you miss the bus) there’s your day – ruined!

There are lots of ways you can train your brain – meditation is way up there on the list, but also learning to flip your thoughts.  Whenever you catch yourself having a ‘negative’ thought – flip it.  Always.  Find something positive, or ridiculously silly about the event.  Lik when you are wondering if your butt looks too big – grab a mirror and watch yourself twerking – bet you are awesome, and even if you are not you’ll probably end up in a fit of giggles.  When things start to get into overwhelm, look for the ‘lesson’ so that it doesn’t happen again – like the credit card payments for example.  You missed a payment and really don’t like getting the reminder phone call and you’ve stopped answering your phone unless you know who’s on the other end.  Not a comfortable situation – so brainstorm ideas about how you can make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Even though they can seem huge at the time, you can always – and I seriously mean ALWAYS – find something that is light.

I’m really short of $$ at the moment so I decided to sell a lot of stuff and that gives me lot of choices in how I view these sales:

  • I’ve loved those collectables for years, I want to keep them – OR –  that’s less dusting to do/ less clutter/ I never really looked at them anymore / how nice that someone new will get to enjoy them!  How many times have I moaned about stuff being left all over the place!
  • Why do we have to sell the rowing machine – I was planning to get back on there and lose some weight – OR – well, isn’t it nice that someone will get chance to feel fitter and healthier, because I’ve been meaning to do that for 4 years, and I do really prefer to take the dog for a walk to the doggy park – lots of doggy cuddles I wouldn’t get stuck inside on that rowing machine!
  • The kids have driven me INSANE; why did I ever think I wanted kids?  – OR – when they are finally asleep they are angels/ the little one just brought me a flower from the garden and my heart just melted/ they are going to be awesome, indepentant, strong adults one day

Get the picture?  Go look at something in YOUR life that you moan about, or have negative thoughts about and see how easy it is to flip into a positive thought.

My washing machine got left behind last time we moved – and see the picture at the top of this blog?  That’s my new washing machine!  I get to experience how my grandmother did the washing.  And yes, it’s hard work, but scrubbing clothes up and down that washboard is very therapeutic.  I can meditate at the same time.  I actually like that so much that there is a possibility I won’t rush to buy a ‘proper’ washing machine!!!  Who needs a washing machine when you have elbow-grease and a washboard, warm, clean-smelling water and a far greater sense of satisfaction at a job well done than you get by throwing them in a machine and pressing the ‘on’ button!

If you practice flipping your thoughts, seeking the lighter, brighter, fun aspect of your troubles then they suddenly don’t seem so huge.

So next time you are about to spit-the-dummy or feel as if things are about to overwhelm you just stop.  Draw a deep breath in; close your eyes and slowly breath out and FLIP whatever was about to rock your boat.  Stuff may still go bottom-up but it won’t be so painful or scary.

And for those who follow a spiritual path and understand how the Law of Attraction works – you will find that by flipping all negative thoughts, you start to attract the positive stuff.  Like me.  I was going through a tough patch and had to sell stuff so I could pay the rent.  Then, out of the blue I discovered an old insurance I had forgotten about and phoned up to see what the go was.  And was told that I actually had TWO old insurances I could cash in.  Not a lot of money, but enough to tide me over.  How amazing is that!!!!

I’m off to do the laundry!

 

Ki’An is an Holistic Counsellor and Meditation Therapist.  She is also a practitioner of Reiki and Access Consciousness(R) Bars.  Other methods of energy work include intuitive healing using crystals, medicine drum, tibetan singing bowl and more. 
Please visit   http://www.kianhealing.com.au for more information regarding classes and conssultations.
Posted in 2018

A Tricky Topic

Posted on by Auri'An

This is a tough topic.  It shouldn’t be because it’s something we will all achieve eventually.  It’s the last thing that most of us will do in this lifetime although some do it a couple of times, usually thanks to modern medicine.  I’m talking about death and grief.  If this is a sensitive subject at this time for you, it’s probably best not to read further just now.  This is just my view, at this stage in my life.  I know some people will worry that I’m struggling in some way, but no I just feel this is a topic with a taboo that we need to re-assess.  It shouldn’t be something to fear.

This ramble was triggered by a Face Book friend who has just written that she had to say goodbye to her dog after an emergency trip to the vets.  It’s such a time of sadness, when you loose a fur baby and friends gather around offering support and condolences, but I have a very different view that could be difficult for some folk to comprehend.

I’ve never feared death.  It’s a part of the experience of living.  None of us can escape it.  It’s the unknown that often scares us and the fear that many of us experience is mainly due to centuries of religious fear of going to Hell if you are bad.  And let’s be honest, we are all ‘bad’ at times.  It’s part of being human.  I bet there is not one person reading this who has not stolen something – even if it’s just a paperclip from the office or ten minutes of someone’s time when they were in a hurry.  In this scenario, Hell must be a busy place!

When someone I know passes, of course there is sadness and grief, but for me it is also a time of celebration.  This person (including fur babies) was in my life for a reason and my life is so much richer for having known that person, and hopefully that person gained much for having me in their life for a time too.

It is so easy to get caught up in the sorrow of someone passing.  You may disagree or want to argue with me, but I see that sorrow as also a little selfish.  Don’t, please, get me wrong, I also don’t see ‘selfish’ as a bad emotion although it can be.  The sorrow is because that person is no longer there.  You cannot interact with them anymore.  They are missing in your life.  They have left a hole that is going to be difficult to fill.

In our sorrow, we often forget the good times we shared with that person.  At least for a while.  For me this is the crux of grieving, the ultimate thing to be sad about – we forget for a time how much richer we are for having known that person.

When someone passes we all offer sympathy: “So sorry for your loss.”  “My condolences.”  We just don’t know what to say to bring comfort and that brings a level of awkwardness and sometimes friends just drop away when they are needed most, simply because they don’t know how to help.

For me, the way to help is to remember the good times.  The Joy and Laughter you shared together.  The giggles and the mischief, the times you sat into the middle of the night discussing world affairs, the hugs.  Remember the funny quirks that you teased him or her about, the things he or she taught you.  Remember and be thankful for the Love you shared, but most of all, don’t focus on the sadness.  It isn’t disrespectful to giggle at a funeral when you are remembering with Love.

When my first husband passed 20 years ago, I wanted to hold an old-fashioned wake.  Not one where everyone stands around, dressed in black with serious expressions on their faces, and softly spoken words.  I wanted a good old knees-up, a remember with Joy And Laughter PARTY!  I wanted ‘funniest thing I can remember about Ian’ games.  I wanted kids to have ‘run like Uncle Ian’ races (he had a very strange way of running).   I had a shed full of car maintenance tools I’d never use and didn’t even know the names of, so I wanted a Grab a Gift from Ian for all the guys into motor racing or car repairs.  I wanted a Moody Blues sing-along.  I wanted to make his life, and the impact it had had on each person there REAL.  I had heaps of practical support from many wonderful people, but people are so conditioned to celebrating the sadness; the absence of the person that they just couldn’t cope with my need to celebrate the good and the funny quirks that made Ian who he was.

What all this rambling is ultimately saying is yes, the time that someone transitions is sad, but don’t let the sadness overpower the richer memories.  The Joy and the Laughter.  You walked with that person, or fur baby, for a reason and when they leave your life, let the memories be the good ones.

I’m not old, but I am older and occasionally thoughts of my mortality cross my mind (no, I’m not being morbid so, my loved ones reading this, no need to worry).  I see my eventual time of transition as my greatest adventure,  I get to see, to Know, what comes next!  I am honoured that I got to walk next to you for a while.  Maybe I’ll get chance, like Billy Fingers, to pop back and say Hi!

 

 

Posted in 2017

Sharing the Energy…

Posted on by Auri'An

I’m finding a fair number of Facebook friends are spouting off at the moment.  At a ton of different things, and most of them seem to be pointing at things in the physical world that they see through emotional eyes and without any digging into the event to see what really is happening.  Just reading something, getting wound up because, in this day of so much False News, they have a certain innocence and still automatically believe what people tell them.  Let’s have a look at this….  From a basic Energy perspective it is quite interesting.

Did you know that when you respond with an emotional blast of anger, you are feeding energy to the very thing that threw you into a tizz in the first place?

Think about it from a purely practical/physical/emotional point of view:

You read about something that really gets you annoyed.  That gives you a choice – you can react by actually directing that energy into finding more info about the situation, so you are not just being a sheeple, but working out whether it is something you should be angry about.  Or you can just re-post without checking the validity and without adding anything.  You can let your anger blurb out and add your comments to the post (maybe with a whole heap of swear words and finger pointing).  You can also choose to do nothing or even delete the post from your page.  There is probably many more things you can do, but these are the main ones I see.

Let’s look at what happens with each of these things – and we’ll use a scenario that actually appeared on my page a few minutes ago and triggered this ramble.  A local tour boat has been forbidden to tie up at the dock due to health and safety risks.

 

You can re-post without checking the validity and without adding anything:

This appeared in your feed, the person who posted it is quite wound up.  You didn’t know anything about this and it has got you quite annoyed.  But you are a ‘don’t rock the boat’ kind of person, you prefer not to get personally involved, even though you are actually pretty angry about it.  So you don’t bother to find out if this is true or not (and that is so easy nowadays with Google) you just hit the Share button.  That’s so easy and, having done your thing, you can completely forget about it.  You didn’t sound off, you didn’t rant, you just let it flow through you and maybe if you are Spiritual you added a belt of Love and Light.

Except you have 300 friends and let’s say that half of those people saw that re-post.  50 of those friends live in the local area and of those 50, 40 didn’t know about this.  It just dropped into their feed in the same way as you received it.  So now, potentially, another 40 people are annoyed.  Some will sound off, most won’t check the validity.  And I’d bet my bottom dollar that no-one will actually contact the tour operator or the harbour master to find out the real situation and see if they can help.  And if each of those 40 have 300 friends……  Well that is a whole lot of people going through their day feeling angry.

This form of sharing is AWESOME if many of these people decide that they need to physically get out of their armchair, check out the real facts and if the matter is accurate and unjust, go see what they can do to help. Just think Standing Rock.  But really?  In our society?  Mainly we just get good and mad.  Then find something else to get good and mad over.  Humans like to point the finger of blame at someone!

Maybe you get REALLY wound up and have a great rant:

IMG_0379Phew!  Got that out of your system, you kinda let rip but hey! that released the anger and now you can get on with your life.

Except…… Those 300 friends.  They now have the added fire of YOUR anger added to the initial post and there may be some who are offended by the swearing (I’m one of those – swearing is low frequency energy and I don’t want that in my energy field)  So now, YOU may have released your anger by spouting off, but you have just INCREASED the load you have spread around.  And you STILL didn’t bother the check the validity or the reason behind the decision OR get off your chair to do something about it.  Getting the picture?  Those flames are well and truly fanned!

Redirect the Energy:

When the post hits your feed and you get all riled up about it, maybe the first thing you do is say to yourself “Stop – let’s check if this is true”  So many people fail to do this and that is how angry rumours and false news get a foothold in social media.  Let us say that you make the decision to check it out and you turn to Google.  In this way you gain really good information so you can decide if you do need to get good and angry or if it’s all a load of hogswash!  Or maybe there is a really good reason that the boat was forbidden to tie up at the dock.  Whatever it is, you are then taking your next step – sharing or not sharing, maybe telling it as it really is.  The other benefit of heading off to Google first is that you have had time to take a metaphorical deep breath!  You don’t just explode with a heap of emotional-driven superlatives and hit the share button!

You can choose to do nothing:

This one is a tricky one.  A lot depends on your thinking behind this.  Did you choose to do nothing because you are not interested – someone else’s problem, not yours?  Did you choose to do nothing because you know that one lone voice is pretty much lost in the wilderness of all this anger?  Maybe you chose to do nothing because you got involved before in something similar and got hurt.  Maybe you did check it out, found it was true and chose to do nothing because you feel there is nothing to do – there was a solid reason behind the decision maybe.  Some people may think you cowardly for appearing to ignore the situation (I have not followed news media for about 35 years – many people think this of me.  I no longer care what they think.  I know what is right for me).  There are so many reasons behind this choice, but the bottom line is that you are NOT feeding the energy.  Not in a positive way by acting or in a negative way by re-acting.  And provided you are comfortable with that decision and understand why you made this choice, that is absolutely great.

You can delete the post – and maybe the poster:

This is my preferred method.

We have already shown that the post is carrying low-frequency energy in the form of anger.  You have decided you are not going to promulgate that anger.  So you can either leave the post on your page and it will soon move out of sight, or you can remove it from your page.

The reason I prefer to remove such posts from my page is the Law of Attraction.  Yes, that very Law that we use whenever we want to create something in our lives (like money, good health, a holiday etc).  The Law of Attraction doesn’t care what is being asked, it simply reads the Energy.  And low-frequency energy, like anger, on your page will attract more low-frequency anger.  I’ve seen this happen hundreds of times.  It is the very reason why we Admins on the First Wave Blue Ray Indigos Facebook page remove all low-frequency posts.  If we let someone post who is seeking money through a GoFundMe – even for a good cause – there will be 10’s of these in the next couple of weeks and most will not be for a “good cause.”  If we allow an apple-cider cure post – we will be flooded with more apple-cider, garlic, turmeric, ginger cures followed by shampoo ads and even, once, we got a fish tank being offered for sale.  And all this low-frequency clutter reduces the overall vibrational frequency of our page.  And for Spiritual people trying to raise their frequency, it’s like shooting yourself in the foot.

I, personally, do not want that Energy on my page.  Especially if there is a rant liberally peppered with foul language.  My choice is to check out the validity, get involved if I have something I can offer or delete the post if it is untrue or I can’t help in any way.  I also give the poster the benefit of the doubt – sometimes you do just need to rant!  But if all – or even most – of their posts are rants, then I remove the person from my friend’s list.  I don’t need their low energy affecting me.

I have one exception.  One area of zero tolerance.  Outright hatred, bigotry, fear-mongering.  These energies have NO place in my life.  Anyone who posts graphic pictures of the pain and torture of animals or other humans; anyone who spreads hatred and fear of other races, ethnic groups or communities – If this is where your energy lies; if you can share these things, fanning the flames of fear and hatred, even when you may disagree with them, ( the OMG look at this – it’s horrible kind of posts) then you will be removed from my friend list.   I try not to judge – we all have our path to follow, and sometimes I give the benefit of the doubt and just remove the post – but every time I have done this, I find those things coming back.

IMG_1389I hope this has given you some food for thought; that you better understand how easy it is to promote low-frequency energy and especially that if you want to raise your energetic vibration, you really need to be on your toes.  Work on Self doesn’t always mean from a healing / spiritual point of view; it doesn’t mean knowing the ins-and-outs of every Ascended Master – it includes your language use, it includes understanding why you do certain everyday things like having a rant! And it includes understanding the repercussions, Energetically, of those rants or low-frequency posts.

Yep, it can be a good thing to let the anger out – but maybe it is better to do it by yelling at a tree who will only argue back with a gentle, soothing hummmmmmm…..  Me?  I let rip in the shower.  Its amazing how much emotion can be released, transmuted and washed away when needed – without harm to anyone else.

Whatever decision you make – it is YOUR decision.  YOU hold responsibility for not only your Energy, but for how your energy affects the Collective Conscious Mind.  It is easy to see how your possible explosion of anger on your facebook page can affect a whole heap of other folk and can even set off a chain reaction around our globe.

Conversely, each time you choose to share something worthwhile, something that brought you a smile or a laugh; something uplifting or supportive – you feed THOSE energetic flames too.  How much better, I believe, to share the uplifting, positive, high Energy.

Choose wisely how your share Energy.  Your choice has deeper repercussions than you may have realised.

It was a long read – I hope you found it worthwhile.

Posted in 2017

Blowing My Top…..

Posted on by Auri'An

I’ve just played one of those silly Facebook quizzes we are all so addicted to and it told me I have a lot of anger.  I cracked up – I thought it hilarious.  Anger is probably the emotion I least relate to.  Of the lower-frequency energies, I understand Fear the most and Anger (like most low-frequency energies) has a foundation in Fear.

Yep I get miffed at times but ANGRY?  That is a very rare thing.  But the quiz did get me to thinking.  Having lived in fear for most of my life, could I possibly have hidden angers buried so deep I can’t find them.  Is Anger just waiting for the right set of circumstances to crop up so I can erupt like Vesuvius and wipe out half the planet?  It certainly is feasible.  The two emotions are very closely linked.  This is something worth exploring.

So I delved deep to see if I can find Anger.  Well, first I am human and Anger is a part of the human lexicon of emotions, so, yes I am very capable of Anger.  Am I angry now, or likely to explode in the near future. I very much doubt it.  And the reason why is because I really don’t want to waste my energy on old low-frequency emotions.  I have worked incredibly hard to rise out of those low frequency energies to achieve – and maintain – a high frequency energetic vibration.  I have absolutely no intention of dropping back into that old fear-filled murk because I blew my top over some post on Facebook or my dog trashed the sofa or even at my husband when he asks my advice but wont listen to what I say.  And getting angry at the world’s political situation simply doesn’t make sense!  It achieves nothing but feeding the low energy flames.

In every case, you can do so much more if you maintain a higher frequency.  For past events……the very ones that have bubbled and festered deep inside you for absolutely years and are most likely to cause that major eruption…. Well, it is possible to move past them by learning to see them as your hardest yet most worthwhile lessons.  The people or situations that caused the most damage are actually your very best teachers.  You can choose to wallow in rememberance of these past hurts or you can choose to let these events be your agents for growth.  And in 99.9% of cases I will choose growth.

For current events (and this is just my take) If you are getting worked up and angry about something you either cannot physically do anything about or are not willing to get up out of your armchair and do something practically about, then ask yourself a couple of questions – Why am I angry?  What is stirring me up so much yet not enough to make me act?  (Here I am specifically thinking of the people who spout anger and hatred and foul language on Facebook posts).  Am I angry because it seems like it’s something I ought to be?  Could it be that if I am not angry I may be judged as being uncaring? Or, more likely,  are you scared of what the outcome might be.  Do I need to be angry to show I care?  Or maybe you are so furiously angry about something that you have no other choice but to go do something to help sort out whatever the issue is.  Then it may be a good idea to recall that Anger is simply energy.  And that Anger energy can be utilised into a more constructive, higher-frequency energy and put to great use in fixing the problem.

Of course, this is just my thoughts at this time in my life.  My thoughts change as I do.  Your thoughts may be totally different, but next time you feel Anger bubbling away or even if you are angry at what I’ve just said – think about the reason behind the anger.  Could it possibly be defensive?  Or are you fearful of the outcome?  Hmmm….  It’s so interesting to delve into all the fears and emotions that collectively  are described as Anger.

Next time you are blowing your top, stop and take a breath – and then start to think about all the emotions that are running through your body as a part of that Anger.  I bet Fear is there!   I can pretty much guarantee that if you do that exploration of Self, you will very soon find you are no longer angry – and that you have a much deeper understanding of what triggers you and why.

I did respond to the person who posted the quiz game with a laugh and a giggle and that person replied that Anger is good – fuel for Love.  First off I discounted what he said – Anger and Love are on opposite sides of the coin, but in a way he is right.  All human emotions are connected.  They are just at opposite ends of the Energy Ladder.  When you get past your anger you are heading towards Love.  They are both simply energy but one is low frequency and the other is high.

Can you be Angry and Love at the same time though?????  More thought needed on that one methinks.