Focus

How can we justify being focused on spiritual and philosophical pursuits when there is so much pain and suffering in the world?

This is a question asked by my Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras.

I love her questions. They usually come when I’ve just got up in the morning and am still stumbling around trying to sort out my first cup of coffee. I swear, I am not human until after two cups of coffee, so when Essence greets me with questions such as this, it can be a bit of a shock to the system! This question arrived at a more civilised time, so I was able to crank up the brain cells….

This is the lesson I learned when I had my first mental breakdown in the early 1980’s  Life had always been stressful; I was a young mum who was also suffering from PTSD although it was another 20 years before that was diagnosed.  My husband watched the BBC News all day, and the only topic of conversation on the TV station was the various wars, famine, murders, IRA, Cold War and all the other terrors of that era.  It was too much.

At that time there was really only two methods of treating a breakdown – hospitalisation with electric-shock therapy or some really vicious drugs.  Either way, I would not be in a position to look after my baby and seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist was only for rich folk.  I was incredibly lucky in that my doctor was very forward thinking; and he was a neighbour.  What actually happened was that for about a year, he gave up his lunch time for an off-the-books appointment with me.  What he taught me, not only saved my sanity, but probably my life.

He asked me if I was going to physically do something about the world problems that were causing me such distress.  Was I planning to travel to Cambodia to assist the people who were struggling after surviving the Pol Pot regime?  Was I going to actually take food to the places around the world where children were starving?  Could I, personally, do anything about the IRA presence in my home town?

My answer was no.  I had a baby and a family to look after, and I could barely find the energy to leave my own house.

This doctor was the first person to teach me Compassion with Detachment, although he didn’t use those words.  In more recent years, Essence reminded me of this – during the time I was recovering from my 2nd breakdown – and my Dark Night Of The Soul.

He made a recommendation.  He suggested that I think about the world 150 years ago.  It would have been the 1830’s and most people had no idea what was happening in the next village, and certainly no knowledge of what was happening on the other side of the world.  My choice was to actually leave everything I knew and loved and go DO something – take Physical Action Steps – to rectify the world problems as I saw them, or I could focus on my local area, physically and emotionally, where I COULD, actually, do something to help.

This was the place I dwelled for the next 40 years – until Covid. Many people, me included at times, would have considered my choice as hiding my head in the sand. Many would think me very ignorant because I had no idea what was going on in the world. I had no idea who was Prime Minister or even which political party was holding sway. My quiet, small, voice was not going to make a difference, so my worrying myself sick over these things would only result in my being physically, emotionally and mentally even more hurt.

Thich Nhat Hanh summed it up beautifully

I am aware of what is going on in the world, but if I allow it within me, I will become sick.  If I am sick I am of no assistance to others.

Thich Nhat Hanh

What I now know is that my choice was an Energy choice.  I could devote a whole heap of Energy into fields where I had no ability to make a difference – and in the course of that, I would drain myself of any ability to do anything helpful in any arena.  Or I could focus my Energy on where I COULD make a difference.  In my case, it was my local community and my own physical and mental health.

At that time, I was in my Dark Night of the Soul.  Now, today, the entire Collective Consciousness of Humanity is in its Dark Night of the Soul– and we are heading towards a peak in those Energies.

I am now realistic – and, hopefully, wiser.  There are things I can do, and things I can’t.  I, as an individual cannot fix the world any more now than I could in the 1980’s.  But I can work in my local community, I can focus on my spiritual, physical and mental health.  I can, as an individual, stand in the Energy of being aware, of bearing witness, of doing what I AM able to do, where I am able to do it.  I choose not to make lots of public noise on social media, not because I think it’s wrong to make a noise, but because it’s simply not something – at this point in time – that I, as an individual, can do much about. 

We have to grow, we have to come together and we have to be absolutely sure of our Collective way forward.  Right now we are none of those things. 

Right now we are in a cycle that has been repeated for as long as humans hold memory. 

Is this going to be the last time we pass through this cycle?  I don’t know – but I doubt it.

So where do you want to focus your Energy?

I Thank You

We are all on a journey. A Journey through Life. That means we have the opportunity to experience all the ups and downs that life has to offer and we also have the opportunity as individuals to learn and grow from those experiences. And over the last year or so we have had opportunities galore.

I’ve mentioned before that the old adage of “no gain without pain” is old hat, and that we can just as easily learn and grow from Joy and Love and Laughter, but it appears that the Collective has been stuck in that old Energy and seems determined to walk the hardest road. And so we travel into our Collective Dark Night of the Soul.

I’ve been in that place a couple of times and it is not fun. This year has been almost non-stop ‘not fun’ for me on a personal level and I know for sure that I am not alone in that, but I am fortunate. Firstly, I have been in these overwhelm situations many times and I know how to deal with them, and it helps that a few years ago I started a course of study to help not only myself but others who find themselves in these situations where things just overwhelm so badly that you can’t cope. Now I have the technical back-up, and a tried and tested action plan to get me back on track.

Returning to ‘normality’ from a crazy, difficult, emotional period in your life is not easy. It doesn’t happen overnight. You can even get a few ‘false-positives’ where you are sure that you have overcome your tricky times, only to find that the hard stuff still keeps happening. I believe I am finally back, and that this time it’s real and not a ‘false-positive.’

One of the things that has been instrumental in my being able to deal with the heavy stuff is that I have had the support of friends. Essence and Kō B’a Jā, the other Krones in the International Koalition of Krones, have given me the breathing space I needed in the cyber world. We’ve never met physically but these two people are incredibly important in my life and despite having some hard things happening in their lives too, they’ve kept the social media stuff rolling on to the point where I’m pretty sure most people didn’t even miss me. I’ve also had three close friends who have supported me in the physical world with hugs; tissues to wipe my tears; kind, encouraging words and plenty of scotch, chocolate and cheese!

I learn by experiencing things and my recent experience seems to me to be a microcosm of the macrocosm. My personal experience of what the Collective is also going through. We are each going through hard and difficult times, but we are each not alone. It almost seems easier to see our Oneness as we all travel through our individual but oh-so-similar Life Journey together.

Have you noticed how so many people seem to be hunkering down? So many people suffering from overwhelm and anxiety? We have to support each other. We have to give each other space and respect that those you are talking with are probably struggling too. This has been my experience of what is needed for the Collective to come back from the happenings of 2020. There has to be very few people of this planet that haven’t been affected by Covid and the explosive political messes of the last year or so and right now we need to collectively take a few deep breaths and get ourselves grounded again. We need to stop the merry-go-round for a while because we all know that it’s going to pick up speed again very soon. This show ain’t over.

We need to be gentle with each other.

Gy’ Shé em

Krone Auri’An

Drama and Ego

I’m no expert, but it seems to me that in times of war you have to stop and review what’s been going on, what you believe will happen, what you want to see happen and what is likely to actually happen.  This is what I have been doing over the last few weeks.

I’m not a regular writer in this blog.  I have a tendency to do my other stuff until something happens and I just have to write about it – and if that need to write gets as far as actually publishing, well that is just awesome!  I had intended to become a tad more disciplined this year – at least I had until the Universe stepped in with other plans.

So far it’s been a year of drama.  And really?  I’ve had quite enough drama in my life to be quite happily bored for a time.  We know that there is massive amounts of drama in the world but I’m talking personal drama on top of all that Covid crap. It’s been full on and has felt like a major war with massive salvos being shot across my equanimity. 

It should have been no surprise.  I’d had plenty of warning from my Spiritual Sister and Teacher, Essence Ka tha’ras.  I knew that the Collective Consciousness of Humanity was heading towards a Collective Dark Night of the Soul and that it won’t peak at its worst point until September 2022.  I also know (because I work closely with her and have seen her predictions come into reality so many times that any doubt just doesn’t exist) that this is only the first stage of that DNOTS and that things are likely to get a whole lot rockier.

So what on Earth made me think that I would escape?  Was it because I have just come out of my own DNOTS?  It took me over 5 years to pull that one off, so I have all the experience in the world about working and living in that place.  I definitely thought I could use that to help others as they fall into their own personal dark place.  Could I possibly have thought that I was immune because during my DNOTS I also studied and gained my skills and qualifications as an Holistic Counsellor? 

Who knows?  What I do know is that in thinking I could avoid this I had donned my own face mask – right over my eyes.  I recognised this. This was the work of Ego. 

Ego is super-sneaky.  Ego leads you to believe that you are helping to sort out the problems of Self and/or the world.  Ego makes you think you are bullet-proof and, believe me, that doesn’t help one little bit when trying to survive in our current society. 

It’s not really surprising that Ego has shown up for me as a micro aspect of the macro (the Collective Consciousness of Humanity).  Ego is currently having a field-day with our world leaders.  And not just the leaders of our society.  You only have to turn on the TV to see it glowing in the faces of many people as they scream and yell and destroy all the while thinking that this violence is going to change things for the better.  Idiots.

What they are doing is giving Ego a bigger platform in their lives.  They are making it all about Me Me Me whilst believing that it is about Us Us Us.  And the arena that it is most easily seen is in that of what is rapidly becoming one of the worlds fastest growing religions – yes a religion, complete with warped dogma – the so-called New Age Belief System.  But I digress.  I’ll talk about that one on another blog.

So.  In my personal war I have spent time reviewing.  I have spent time looking into the darkest aspects of me and my ego.  I have been doing Shadow Work.  We, the IKoK – International Koalition of Krones – have been saying for a while that the Collective will have to do this Shadow Work.  That if they don’t they will be forced into it by circumstance.  I learn by experience and I am having my personal experience of being made to look deeply through all the drama in my life in a way I just can’t avoid.

And all I can say right now is that if the entire Collective Consciousness of Humanity has to do the same, has to dig as deep as I have, has to face its fears and its demons, it’s going to be messy.  But I also want to hold up a ray of light.  Only a few days ago I believed I was falling deeply into that dark well of despair that I know so well having lived in it for many years, but I am still here.  Occasionally teetering on the edge for sure but all that experience and study and training has held me in good stead.  I recognised what was happening and I chose to survive.  I chose to survive because I believe, so very strongly, that I can help.  Even if it is only with one person.  I can help that one person make a difference in their life.

And that isn’t ego.  It’s Krone Wisdom.  The wisdom that is grown out of knowledge and experience and shared with all who seek it and respect it.

Gy’ Shé em

I AM Krone

Krone Auri’An

ANIMAL MEDICINE

MUSKRAT AND CARDINAL

Roughly four times a month I record a message that is brought forward for the Collective Conscious of Humanity – and in particular for Starseeds who are trying to find their way. Many Starseeds are becoming lost, unknowingly being pulled down the rabbit-hole of addiction to the Energy of the Shadow Side Forces of Light.

You can find these recordings by going to You Tube, and searching on “Essence Ka tha’ras”
Two of the recordings each month are direct and two are as a part of the bi-monthly Zoom Chat of the International Koalition of Krones.


The following is my notes for this recording.

How do you think, in future years, historians are going to respond when looking back on 2020?  What are they going to write in the history books?  What are the children of the future going to be taught, about this period in linear time? 

Is this year going to be remembered as the period in human history that we just about destroyed ourselves?  A time where humans managed to get pulled under by fake news, egotistical politicians over-stepping what they were elected to protect; fear and panic over a virus driving humanity into insanity?

Or is it going to be remembered as a time when humanity finally stood up, and not with fear, violence and over-reaction, but with gentle love, compassion and understanding, turned things around?  Is 2020 going to be remembered as a time where we recognised that we are working through a Collective Karmic Imbalance, and that we have the opportunity to release and correct the misuse that caused the imbalance in the first place?

Just as we, as individuals have to work through our Karmic Imbalance, so too does the Collective Consciousness of Humanity.  The imbalance that the Collective is having to deal with at this time was first incurred during the time of Atlantis.  The verbal histories tell us of the downfall of Atlantis, and the reasons why this happened.  These reasons are origin of the imbalance we are clearing now. 

We can’t move forward until this Karmic Imbalance is cleared, but we don’t have to do it alone, we have help.  The animal kingdom has been coming forward – they are inhabitants of this planet just as we are, and what we humans do directly affects them too.  They are sharing their wisdom in the hope that we will listen, take note and act.  Before it’s too late  This week we are receiving the wisdom of Muskrat.

The Karmic Imbalance that we, the Collective Consciousness of Humanity, are working to release is to do with the mis-use of technology and the manipulation of human DNA. Muskrat obviously isn’t directly involved with technology or with DNA manipulation, but he IS involved with using resources wisely and with purpose. Human technology is a resource that is being mis-used and we run a very real risk of sliding back into the very thing that caused this Karmic Imbalance in the first place.  We are wasting resources at an unprecedented rate. We are chasing after illusion and mis-direction;  we are being emotionally manipulated by media and those we put in a position of trust.  We are fighting battles with Energy that should be directed in a different way.

Muskrat is very involved with avoiding wastage of resources.  For the benefit of his home and family, he will re-cycle – re-purpose things that have been discarded by others.  He teaches us to use our resources wisely.  He is asking us to look at where we waste our resources – not only on a global level but more on a personal level, an emotional and energetic level.  Are we using our time and our personal Energy wisely? Or not? 

We need to look at our lives, at where we direct our Energy and if we find we need to change direction, to basically re-purpose that Energy that we are putting out into the world, and we need to make those changes in order to conserve our shining light, our Vibration, our Loving Energy and no longer allow ourselves to be depleted into the fear and anger that is so prevalent right now, we can draw upon Muskrat Energy to help us to move through these emotional times.  We need to be able to swim through these emotional waters calmly and with purpose and not to be discouraged.  We need to re-purpose the Energy we have spent chasing down rabbit-holes filled with anger.

With the Collective Consciousness of Humanity entering into it’s Dark Night of The Soul we are being asked to look at many things and reviewing and re-purposing your Energy use is just one thing that Muskrat can help us with.  Another area to look deeply into is how we interact with others.  Muskrat knows how to get along well with other species and he is showing us that we should have a good look at how we interact with others, how we view those who have differences to what we hold and believe in.  Differences in skin colour, hair, size, fitness levels , age, sex, knowledge, religion, political views, ethnicity, the make up we use, our style of dress – the list goes on and on.

The differences held between people are many and a lot of that wasted Energy is spent in pointing these differences out, of using these differences as a means of dis-respect, fear and anger.  We will not move forward until we – as individuals and as the Collective – can recognise these differences and treat them with honour, respect and celebration of humanity’s diversity.  Because, as we have said before, we cannot have Unity without Diversity.

Muskrat is bringing a whole heap of wisdom to our attention.  Draw upon his Energy as we work our way through this DNOTS.  Draw on it as the individual thread of the Collective Consciousness of Humanity that you are.

Muskrat IS our messenger today, but we also had a visit from one of the most loved of Spirit Messengers in the US.  Singing “pretty, pretty, pretty” a Red Cardinal joined in our Krone conversation.  Cardinal is a messenger of change, and she brings a message reminding us that we are loved and supported and whilst she can bring confirmation that you are on the right track, she can just as easily be visiting to tell us that we need look around us, we need to look into ourselves and make sure that we haven’t got caught up in using our Energy on something that is not singing to you of beauty.  Messengers on crimson wings should never be ignored.  They carry the wisdom of ages and a Cardinal can often appear to help us make up our mind about the right course of action.

If you find that your course of action is to separate yourself from certain elements that are being destructive to your Energy; if you are feeling emotionally wobbly; if you need to make some changes in your life or if you discover that you are having difficulty in understanding someone who is, perhaps, oriented in a different direction to you, then close your eyes, draw in a couple of deep breaths; focus on Muskrat, bring his image into your mind, and in gratitude for his gift of wisdom, ask for his aid in helping you to use your resources in a way that brings Love, Hope, Peace and Safety.

Dark Night of the Soul

Humanity is struggling.  You don’t need to be psychic or intuitive to understand this, you only have to look around you.  Even in the very small town that I live in, a place that has not been touched by COVID-19, you can still see this is inexorable slide.  The microcosm representing the macrocosm.  As above, so below.  It’s happening folks, the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is entering it’s Dark Night of the Soul (DNOTS).

For those of you who are unaware, the Collective Consciousness of Humanity (CCoH) is the gathered Energy and thought processes of all humans on this Earth.  Not all BEINGS, just all Humans every one of the individuals forming the CCoH – close to 8 billion humans – have the potential to be so overwhelmed or so in need of the deeper work that they too could be affected.

  • How will it affect you? 
  • What might you expect to experience? 
  • How will you deal with it? 
  • How do you know you are in your DNOTS?
  • How long can it last? 
  • How do you get out of it? 
  • Will you even be the same person once you do emerge?

I’ve been through this process twice and have been instructed by my Guides to offer my experience to you.  These are some of the questions I’ll attempt to answer so that if you are drawn into this, you can recognise it and know how to work through it.

I can’t speak for everyone of course, all I can do is let you know that you won’t be alone. 

DNOTS truly is an awful place to be but it also presents you with the possibility – the opportunity – to take what you learn and aim for the most glorious future in full knowledge of who you are and why you are here, IF you do the work that is required of you whilst you are in that dark place. 

I want to tell you the story of my recent visit within the DNOTS because this is the one that I understand the most,  and for those of you who have known me over the last almost 6 years, you are likely to be surprise by the information that I have only recently stepped fully out of that place.  My story really started suddenly, unexpectedly and intensely in September 2014.

I had been going through a tough time and was already fighting a certain level of depression and anxiety when on this particular day in September 2014, my world fell apart after a very traumatic phone call.  I was accused of something I had not done, within a business I was not even involved with, and threatened with jail time.  The shock was so great, I spent days curled in a ball in my garden unable to stop crying.  From a mainstream perspective,  I had had a break down and although I didn’t know it at the time, from a Spiritual perspective I had dropped into my Dark Night of the Soul.

There is a lot of mis-information on social media about the Dark Night of the Soul.  I see talks and memes suggesting that this is what is happening when you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious.  Yes, these are very definite aspects of DNOTS, but as someone who works with people dealing with these emotions, I can tell you that even the strongest of these are not of the level of a DNOTS.

It’s not something that lasts a few days or a few weeks, or even a few months.  It’s not about feeling depressed and worried about stuff, it’s about being at the bottom of the deepest, darkest well of despair and knowing that there is absolutely no light at the top.  It’s deeper and darker than clinical depression, it’s beyond feeling suicidal and it takes YEARS to recover. 

I’m going to try to explain this from an individual perspective, how it happens, why it happens and what you have to do to emerge from a DNOTS.  I can talk about this individual perspective because I’ve been there.  I’ve travelled this path.  And I can tell you that DNOTS is not only about the deep dark well of despair – it’s about the absence of EVERYTHING which forces you to look into yourself at a level that you never thought possible.  It’s a stripping-away of everything that you thought made you who you are and it can happen not only on an emotional and spiritual level, but also within the physical realms.  And right now the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is falling into a DNOTS. 

A fall into DNOTS often coincides with a Saturn Natal Return – when this happens, it feels as if you’ve got a double whammy, and this can be a situation that some people never return from.  I personally know people in this situation.

I’m not going to focus on what it feels like to fall into a DNOTS because, honestly, that’s just not something it’s possible to describe except, to those who have been there – and everybody’s journey is different.  I understand deep depression, I’ve watched family members struggle with clinical depression and suicidal feelings – I’ve experienced this myself.  And I can tell you that DNOTS is infinitely beyond that.  My personal visualisation was of living in a deep muddy hole that sunk down into the deepest parts of the earth.  A hole with quicksand in the bottom sucking me further down and with absolutely no way to climb out.  No ladder, no rope, no light at the top.  That absence of everything except fear and despair.

For me, personally, I also lost pretty much everything in my physical life.  From running three successful businesses I ended up losing them all – home, family, friends, pets, even furniture and personal treasures and as I took my final steps away from my DNOTS, I realised that I had nothing – just me.  My Self.  And that Self took itself into a cocoon and thus began the journey of metamorphosis.

In the bottom of that well of despair you discover who you are. You discover who you are not.  And if you are a person who has bucket loads of determination, courage and strength you eventually discover that these are three of the tools you need to emerge.  I’d already discovered, through widowhood and 15 years of chronic illness, that I did have these things. 

I mentioned that DNOTS is about absence.  It’s not just about the loss of stuff in the physical, it’s also a time to go deep inside yourself and review everything you believe about yourself – who you think you are, how you believe you are viewed by the world, your worth to Self and to society. To start this work you first have to recognise that you are in your DNOTS. 

DNOTS forces you to dig deep.  Everything needs to drop away.  And it is hard work.  All your beliefs – in yourself and the world you live in have to be reviewed.  For me, that happened by dramas cycling around and around in my life until I worked it out, until I learned to overcome the fear and the despair, to recognise and acknowledge the anger and to really learn that lesson of forgiveness.

Although it’s unlikely to be recognised whilst you are in your DNOTS, this time is also a period of immense growth.  There are huge opportunities to be grasped if only you can be aware enough to see them; to have the strength and courage to go after them.

It was, literally, just one week after I entered my DNOTS in September 2014 that new people started to enter my life; people that would become, for a while, my teachers and guides.  It was just one month after that time, that I had my initial, conscious Spiritual Awakening experience.  3 ½ hours of the most immense pain and confusion – and also the most wonderous single experience of my life – and that even includes giving birth to my daughter which was also amazing.  It’s not uncommon for a DNOTS to trigger an intense Spiritual Awakening process and for me, this totally changed my life forever.

I have cycled through these dramas, loosing much and gaining much as understanding started to flower.  There have been several times that I thought I had emerged, only to discover that no, the dramas are still there, still not fully resolved, still some remaining anger, fear or an acknowledgement that I really am not ready to forgive.  Emerging from a DNOTS feels like rising waves – you ride a wave believing you have reached the top of your dark well only to find yourself slipping back.  But each time you rise a bit higher, fall a little less. 

Although, for me it felt like waves, a more true description would be to consider the emergence as a spiral.  Samsara – the cycle of death and re-birth.  I was presented with an Energy – some drama would occur in my life which was so horrible and difficult it was like a part of me was dying.  But as I learned to recognise the Energy and understand the lessons; as I learned to dig deep into my beliefs and recognise Truths and Untruths; as I started the work to change those beliefs, I would emerge, changed by the experience only to discover the same Energy appearing a few weeks or months later in a different scenario requiring different exploration of my Self.  I mentioned earlier the tools you need to hold to work through these cycles – Strength.  Determination.  Courage.  You need these by the bucket-load.

It’s now almost 6 years since I fell into my DNOTS and I’m no longer that person I was.  I no longer even recognise that old version of me.   Over the last 12 months or so, as I took my final steps away from my Well of Despair,  I have undergone an immense metamorphosis.  I am, literally, no longer the person I was.  The Physical, Spiritual and Emotional changes are far greater than most people will ever understand.  I took those tools of Strength, Determination and Courage and made them my own.  I am stronger, more confident, more ALIVE than I have ever been.  I have spent a lifetime of struggle and fear and now I recognise ME.  I recognise the Starseed that I truly am within this human camouflage.  It is precisely because of the journey down the path of DNOTS that I am moving into a future beyond that which I couldn’t even envisage when I fell. 

Some people never emerge.  All they see is the drama, the fear, the anger.  They don’t hold the strength and courage to face their Self in the mirror – especially when, in that deep well of despair, there is no light to shine the reflection back to you.  You have to travel within.  You have to hold the courage to face Samsara – the death and re-birth of life.  And you absolutely must be determined to succeed.

Right now, the Collective Conscious of Humanity is falling down that well.

I send out the call for all peoples of this planet to gather their Strength, Determination and Courage, not to face the illusions of our current society, but to face that hardest place of all – You.

Gy’ Shé em

Auri’An

Taken from a talk on the bi-monthly chat with the International Koalition of Krones – https://youtu.be/kx4xkz5IgQs

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