Symphony of Sorrowful Songs

I saw a post on Facebook asking people “what kept you alive when nothing seem able to save you”.  That post triggered a memory of me, in my office, not long after my husband had passed on, sitting at the computer, headphones on and the volume really loud so that I didn’t have to listen to, or deal with, any of the crap going on around me. 

Symphony of Sorrowful Songs by Gorecki was one of only two things that kept me on this earth when my husband died.  It starts so softly and gently that you don’t really hear anything for the first 2 minutes, and then it just builds and builds.

I’ve you’ve not listened to this, the title may be enough to make you wonder why, when you are feeling at the absolute bottom of the dung hill would you want to wallow in deep, dark music?  Those who turn to music to help them get through the hard times will understand – the music you listen to can be a reflection of the emotions you have rolling through you when are either unable to fully express those emotions, or have pushed them down so deep that you can’t express them.  It’s like doing mirror work; delving deep knowing that once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. 

When you find that one track and you keep playing it over and over again, you may start to recognise the beauty and grace in the flow of the melody and you find that even though the music almost always brings tears, they are cleansing.  This was my ‘bling’ in one of the dark times of my life.  I literally wallowed in this music for several months.  It became like a drug, and without it I could not exist.  It seemed to be the only thing around me that reflected back the emotions I tried to hide from the world and that often threatened to drown me.

Symphony of Sorrowful songs by Gorecki is like a sunrise over the ocean.  Living in the darkness is not comfortable.  It can be scary, especially when the future is unknown, but like the sunrise, this music guides you through your personal dark nights and shows you a promise of peace.

Sunrise from my garden – Auri’An

As you listen, there is the quiet expectation of the time before the first hint of light becomes visible.  The darkest place.  It’s quiet.  So quiet and deep that you barely register the sound, but bit by bit like the pre-dawn glow of the sunrise, the music starts to infiltrate, it starts to make itself known to your awareness.

It’s heavy, dark, and it feels like a very familiar reflection of the darkness and struggle in your own heart.  But like that sunrise, it keeps coming on in waves that bring the inevitable lifting of the darkness.  As the waves of music swell, for a moment you recognise the emotion that you hold under tight control, so that to others, you show not the sadness that is your constant companion, but rather your hard-won strength, and that even though you may be struggling right now, you will survive this.   It is a recognition of how you get through your day – the heaviness pushed to the background and overlaid with something lighter that allows you to do what you need to do in order to simply exist. 

And still this music climbs, bringing the Energy from your Root Chakra, through Sacral, Solar Plexus and coming up to your Heart Chakra, bringing the promise of eventual Peace.  Your heart rate starts to slow and, as with the sound of the ocean waves, you allow the music to wash over you, relaxing physical tension, washing away the false-front you hold like a shield against the world, and allowing a release of emotion.

Then the sun peaks over the horizon – a moment of stillness, before the Soprano voice joins in and so perfectly expresses what is in your heart, building and building until you feel almost overwhelmed.  The waves of Energy keep climbing and you recognise the cycles that occur in life: the humdrum repetitions that sometimes provide a lifeline; the almost-too intense times when you simply don’t know what to do and you just exist through the tempest; the quieter times where you can pause and take a breath.  These cycles?  They are Life.    The sun is risen.

In writing this, I sat and listened to this music for the first time in years.  Those life cycles have moved on and although there has been much drama, pain and loss, there has also been much joy and love and laughter.  Life has been lived.  I still feel the sunrise in this music and as it builds and grows it takes me to different heights.  I have a different starting-point – I’m no longer in the well of despair and am not listening from the dark depths of grief.  I still feel it in my Heart Chakra, but this is where it starts, not where it grows to.  That promise of peace has been realised and I am now feeling deeper into the emotion of the composer.  I don’t know his story, but this piece was written from the heart.  And it is beautiful.

This is a link to this album. I’d love to hear your thoughts…..

Remember – Flip the Fear, Find the Bling.

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Thank you for reading.


The Gympie Pyramid

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Today I realised an ambition to visit the Gympie Pyramid. This is an ancient pyramid in Australia. Yes, you did see that correctly – a pyramid in Australia!

The pyramid is hidden in plain sight. I have driven this road for over 10 years and have never seen it, just bush and absolutely no hint that a whopping big ancient artefact is hidden behind the tall grass and the trees.  We pulled off the road and parked in rough bush and after a little talk about checking for ticks when we get home we set off down a path that was poorly defined until we reached a river with a dirt bridge.  Noels, our guide, gave the gift of tobacco into the water on either side of the bridge showing gratitude for our visit.  We continued walking along a well defined path – a tractor had been along here during the last rains and left tracks in the otherwise natural bushland scrub which were quite intrusive.  Just around the corner we found a sign telling us that we were entering a Sacred Site. The Kabi Kabi hold Sovereign Right to this land since it was returned to the Natives in 1836, but the Department of Main Roads have claimed it in order to build a by-pass around the town of Gympie. They plan to bulldoze this most ancient of monuments!  The Kabi Kabi are, like First Nations around the world, having to fight for their land rights.

We continued past the sign and then turned to start to climb up the side of the hill. There are records that show that just 200 years ago, this pyramid was still mainly intact, but the place was trashed by gold miners seeking an easy way to build homes.  The ready-dressed sandstone blocks were too much of a temptation when the only other option was to transport stone from Brisbane – too far away and too expensive!  Artifacts were stolen, removed or destroyed and now there is little to see other than some stone terraces and a lot of rock scattered around the ground.  Those who disbelieve this is an ancient site have gone on record to say the terraces were built by Italian immigrants and are actually for growing grapes for wine making – despite very poor soil, no water, facing in the wrong direction, a climate most unsuited to grapes and absolutely no record of any Italians in the area during these times!

060.jpgA person who is not awake spiritually, nor sensitive to Energy, would only see a lot of lichen-covered fallen stone with some dry-stone walling set in terraces. But for those who are sensitive – Oh My! The energy is different on every terrace. It is like a progression of raised frequency – each terrace being higher. The lowest obvious terrace grabs you in the gut – heavy and dense – a warning.  The next terrace hits higher – I felt a strong Energy of anxiety whilst my friend thought she was about to vomit. I think she had need to clear something before going higher. As we climbed higher the feeling became lighter and half way up I knew I had been here before and this level was about Welcome.  I have since researched and believe there are actually 7 terraces – one for each of the Chakras maybe?  Certainly many people have mentioned that each level has it’s unique energy and I cannot disagree with this at all.

065The level below the Welcome (Throat Chakra?) Energy showed us the first of the worked stones. This one was about the size of a prone body and has a triangle cut right in the middle of the stone.  My photo isn’t particularly great – I’ve taken the picture at the wrong angle to see the triangle clearly!  It is believed that this stone was the cap stone or even an altar and that it has rolled down from the top.  I climbed onto the stone, right on top of the triangular hole and felt……not much at all!  For me the energy from the stone was pretty insignificant compared to what I was feeling all around me.

On the Welcome level, Noels took us to what I consider the most amazing aspect of the whole pyramid.  A gate.  A stone doorway.  The way the stones are cut in order to fit into each other – well, there is absolutely nothing natural about this.  Two stones have been balanced together at the top, wide at the bottom, to form the entry, and a third stone, worked so that it perfectly fits the angled stones, is flat faced, bevelled edged and has a carved symbol  and a perfectly round tiny half-sphere carved into it.  And if you dig right down into the dirt, you find that the bottom of the “door” stone is perfectly flat.  Noels told me that she had tried, just a couple of weeks previously to insert some type of “spy” camera into the space behind the door – but there was no space large enough for the tiny equipment she used.  the door is a tight fit all around.

071I was very interested in this doorway, but I was even more drawn to a place slightly above and to the left of this spot. This place is so familiar to me.  It was so familiar even though I have never been here in this lifetime.  But I have been here in a past life.   I Knew that I had stood on that place just above and to the left of the door and welcomed people in Ceremony.  I could see it as I stood there, I wasn’t sure of my role -maybe I had been a shaman or priest of some kind – but I was welcoming a group of people to this place and specifically through the doorway.    Although we carried on towards the top,  I knew that I would be back to explore this – we had permission to wander here for as long as we wanted.

This hill most definitely is not terraced for grape growing as some doubters have stated. There are dressed stones everywhere that just feel so obviously not natural formations.  There are three or four stones that have been ground down into deep bowl-like cavities – as if they had been used to grind grain for many, many years.   In moving your hand around the bowl, you can feel how the grain was crushed in a circular method.  Most definitely not natural wearing of the stone. There are more stones with cuts and depressions that are not natural; a fallen stone that is circular in cross-section – like a pillar that has fallen over. There is another that looks like the kind of stone you see in stone circles around the world,  but fallen over and right next to it, another stone that has a perfectly straight-cut side. I saw stones carved so that there is a perfect three-sided right-angle like the corner of a cube; another that looked like a brick carved into the stone I saw a stone that looked like it may once have been a carving of an animal foot, worn down by time and yet another huge rock that seemed to be a toppled statue of some animal – we considered everything from a turtle to a dinosaur to an elephant. I now think it may have been a griffin.

As we climbed to the very top we stepped into a place of Peace. I still have that feeling with me now, hours later.   The trees, the prickly pears, the humming of the mozzies and the bird song.  Even the spider webs festooning everything came together in a glorious feeling of Peace.  For me, it was like climbing up through the Energies of the Chakras to the peaceful Crown Chakra.  The deep connection to Source, Spirit, God – whatever name you choose.  And right at the top, protected by a small grouping of trees is another stone carved to appear like a chair. This is a Place of Power.

We wandered around a little more as a group and then we all, by common accord, sought a place that called to us. I, of course, went back to my place of Welcome.  I wandered around this small area seeking the right place, MY place, but of course, in this Reality Now it’s no longer there. Eventually I settled on a rock just to the left of the doorway. There were thousands of mozzies. So before I started, I had a quick word with Mother Earth and asked her to remind her children not to bite or I couldn’t be responsible if they got squished. Honestly – this is the BEST mozzie protection ever, but you do have to be prepared to allow them to walk on you!

077I dropped into a deep meditation almost immediately and I asked Spirit and my Guides to allow me to learn of my connection to this place. I found myself taking my consciousness into my Third Eye, and then into The Void and finally into this ancient Self. There has been much talk of this pyramid being built by Egyptians. Egyptian hieroglyphs have been found here and other places in Australia. This pyramid, however, is much, much earlier than Ancient Egypt. The connection I Knew is with Lemuria. I don’t know which period – but I do know that I was not a shaman or priest – I was something like a site foreman!!! I was there at the building of this wonderful place. I know that I did indeed welcome people to this gateway half-way up the side of the pyramid and that there is a chamber within the hill that contains 6 bodies.  I suspect, but am not sure that these are the people I welcomed. Important people, gladly entering the chamber.  What their task was, why they were sealed into that chamber, I have no idea.  They entered there in Ceremony, dressed in many feathers.

111I know how the stones were dressed and lifted into place – it was by an Energy seen as a blue/violet light beam.  When I eventually looked at the photos I had taken – you can see a shadow of this beam in some of them. Two beams that meet at right angles. This pyramid was not built as a place of worship – my Knowing tells me it has something to do with a World Map. My friend Herschell was given another clue – more on that later.  There are links with other pyramids – especially those in South America (most of which came later – I don’t think linear time is important) and i need to do some research on this. I am also aware that the height we see in this time is much smaller than the original structure and I, as my ancient self, became very saddened by the desecration of what is possibly one of the oldest places on this planet.

Within my meditation I started to gather Energy from those ancient times I was straddling. This is something I do fairly frequently, although never before whilst straddling two time-lines, so when my arms started to levitate – oh so slowly – and gather energy I, in this time-line, was aware of what was happening.  This was interesting – I was observing myself from two perspectives – now and not-now.  Eventually I had gathered what was needed and with my breath, I shared this Ancient Energy into our current Now Reality and started the long journey to bring my consciousness back to Now. I felt a disappointment from my ancient self – my ancient body would not have been in contact with the stone at the time of sharing. I should be levitating above the stone.  I know this feeling. I have felt it many times.  A final gift – now I know where this urge comes from.

It did indeed take a long time to fully return. First, I noticed my phone 2:22pm. Then I noticed Herschell watching over me. I spent many more minutes before I felt sufficiently connected to start to move. It took me a long time to stand and eventually walk to Herschell’s wife, where she was waiting. There I discovered Herschell had been gifted with a symbol. This was like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle,  and on the car journey home I understood what the symbol means.  Herschel’s Glyph tells that this Place is a place of travel. A place where those who have the knowledge can travel to any other place via the Third eye and The Void. My “normal” method of travel.

This wondrous place is about to be desecrated in order to build a road. I am fully aware that if anyone breaks into that chamber, the effect will be catastrophic. I have no idea what that catastrophe would be, but I know it will not be pretty. I have absolutely no idea where to start but there must be a seismic survey done before anyone hits that hill with a bulldozer. At one time the site had standing stones, 12 or 13 pillars. An archway; statuary and more. It is all gone, almost robbed out, with the exception of a single carved statue known as the Gympie Ape which is now housed in the museum. Apparently there was an archeological survey done – and the reports have been “lost”.  Something or someone is hiding the truth about this wonderful Sacred Site.

No wonder my ancient self was saddened.

Talking to Lulani

Ever since I spiritually woke up and learned about guides, guardians, angels, spirit animals etc I have wanted to talk with them direct.  But that doesn’t seem to be the way I work. Certainly if I was clairaudiant life would be simpler – but the sleuth-work I find myself doing trying to work out symbolism can be fun.  And frustrating!

In my last post GUIDES and ANGELS I mentioned how I came to discover the name of one of my guides, Lulani, and  how she gave me info to research – all through the gifts of a lovely lady I am proud to call Teacher and Friend, Essence Ka tha’ras.  Today, I would like to share with you how Lulani and I have worked out a way to speak directly without my being clairaudiant!

After learning about Lulani, Pele, lava and more I spent a couple of days sifting through Google and You Tube following this lead and that lead trying to decipher what could be meant by “Moon Night Sun” and “Sun Behind the Sun”  I learned a whole lot about sun flares, CME’s. coronal hole streams but not a thing that was actually relevant.  It’s very possible this will be relevant at some point, but not in the short-term that I was looking at.  We were due a HUGE geo-magnetic storm and I thought the two phrases had something to do with that but it became very obvious as the storms passed that I had been barking up the wrong tree again!

So I had a problem.  I have a guide who is giving me clues to follow, but I can’t contact her unless I get in touch with Essence who lives on the other side of the world.  And calling on her all the time would be rudeness of the worse kind.  She’s a busy, busy lady but I know that she would give whatever little time she had to help out.  A totally unfair thing to do to anyone.  The problem needed a solution, and so I did what I usually do when faced with a tricky situation – I meditate.

Meditation, for me, usually involves me completely zoning out – eventually coming back to this life a tad disoriented; astral traveling somewhere; acting as an energy conductor (very common when I meditate in a group); being on the receiving end of a high-speed movie-style download or dropping into a vision/dream.  I NEVER meditate lying down – there is always too much of interest happening to risk falling asleep!!!!

And so with this meditation, and a very specific task to achieve, I dwelt on the words Lulani had given me.  “Ask and ye shall receive”  So I asked:  “I need to be able to speak with you directly.”  Somehow.  We had to work it out and I’d already tried auto-typing on my computer with very limited success.  But this guide was one step ahead of me.

When I act as a conductor for energy, my arms do ‘their own thing’.  They levitate.  I don’t control it, they go off and gather energy, squish it into a ball and send that ball of light off to wherever it is needed most.  All without my input.  I’m just a collection bucket!  LOL.  And this day was no different.  Except this time I received the energy!

When I collect energy I am usually quite aware of what my arms are doing.  I am simply not controlling them.  I feel the energy that is gathered, I usually know where it’s source is – Earth, Sun, Moon, Stars, Source or any combination. This time it was none of these.  It was a Gift from Lulani.  My arms gathered the energy as normal, squished it into a ball as normal and then very carefully placed it in my solar plexus chakra.  And everything stopped still as I went deeper into myself to see this Gift. No sound, no time, no me.  Just the Gift, wrapped in Love.

Lulani is a Dragon.  She is the Golden/Green dragon that I rode on my first astral travel to my home planet.  She is the dragon I have felt frequently over the last 12 months, but not seen.  And she gifted me the power of speech through fire.

Actually, that sound a whole heap more dramatic than it really is, but I couldn’t help leaving it in!!!  My weird sense of humour at play.   Heat is the means, the chakras are the locations of the heat, and each chakra has a word. Plus a few extra!  The heart chakra is LOVE.  The throat chakra is YES.  The base chakra is NO.  The solar plexus is KNOWLEDGE.  Heat across both shoulders is I AM HERE.  There’s more – I’m still learning.

And so we can speak.  It’s rather like a game of 20 questions but it is truly amazing how much information you can get with 4 words.  Yes, No, Love, Knowledge.

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