Dark Night of the Soul

Humanity is struggling.  You don’t need to be psychic or intuitive to understand this, you only have to look around you.  Even in the very small town that I live in, a place that has not been touched by COVID-19, you can still see this is inexorable slide.  The microcosm representing the macrocosm.  As above, so below.  It’s happening folks, the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is entering it’s Dark Night of the Soul (DNOTS).

For those of you who are unaware, the Collective Consciousness of Humanity (CCoH) is the gathered Energy and thought processes of all humans on this Earth.  Not all BEINGS, just all Humans every one of the individuals forming the CCoH – close to 8 billion humans – have the potential to be so overwhelmed or so in need of the deeper work that they too could be affected.

  • How will it affect you? 
  • What might you expect to experience? 
  • How will you deal with it? 
  • How do you know you are in your DNOTS?
  • How long can it last? 
  • How do you get out of it? 
  • Will you even be the same person once you do emerge?

I’ve been through this process twice and have been instructed by my Guides to offer my experience to you.  These are some of the questions I’ll attempt to answer so that if you are drawn into this, you can recognise it and know how to work through it.

I can’t speak for everyone of course, all I can do is let you know that you won’t be alone. 

DNOTS truly is an awful place to be but it also presents you with the possibility – the opportunity – to take what you learn and aim for the most glorious future in full knowledge of who you are and why you are here, IF you do the work that is required of you whilst you are in that dark place. 

I want to tell you the story of my recent visit within the DNOTS because this is the one that I understand the most,  and for those of you who have known me over the last almost 6 years, you are likely to be surprise by the information that I have only recently stepped fully out of that place.  My story really started suddenly, unexpectedly and intensely in September 2014.

I had been going through a tough time and was already fighting a certain level of depression and anxiety when on this particular day in September 2014, my world fell apart after a very traumatic phone call.  I was accused of something I had not done, within a business I was not even involved with, and threatened with jail time.  The shock was so great, I spent days curled in a ball in my garden unable to stop crying.  From a mainstream perspective,  I had had a break down and although I didn’t know it at the time, from a Spiritual perspective I had dropped into my Dark Night of the Soul.

There is a lot of mis-information on social media about the Dark Night of the Soul.  I see talks and memes suggesting that this is what is happening when you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious.  Yes, these are very definite aspects of DNOTS, but as someone who works with people dealing with these emotions, I can tell you that even the strongest of these are not of the level of a DNOTS.

It’s not something that lasts a few days or a few weeks, or even a few months.  It’s not about feeling depressed and worried about stuff, it’s about being at the bottom of the deepest, darkest well of despair and knowing that there is absolutely no light at the top.  It’s deeper and darker than clinical depression, it’s beyond feeling suicidal and it takes YEARS to recover. 

I’m going to try to explain this from an individual perspective, how it happens, why it happens and what you have to do to emerge from a DNOTS.  I can talk about this individual perspective because I’ve been there.  I’ve travelled this path.  And I can tell you that DNOTS is not only about the deep dark well of despair – it’s about the absence of EVERYTHING which forces you to look into yourself at a level that you never thought possible.  It’s a stripping-away of everything that you thought made you who you are and it can happen not only on an emotional and spiritual level, but also within the physical realms.  And right now the Collective Consciousness of Humanity is falling into a DNOTS. 

A fall into DNOTS often coincides with a Saturn Natal Return – when this happens, it feels as if you’ve got a double whammy, and this can be a situation that some people never return from.  I personally know people in this situation.

I’m not going to focus on what it feels like to fall into a DNOTS because, honestly, that’s just not something it’s possible to describe except, to those who have been there – and everybody’s journey is different.  I understand deep depression, I’ve watched family members struggle with clinical depression and suicidal feelings – I’ve experienced this myself.  And I can tell you that DNOTS is infinitely beyond that.  My personal visualisation was of living in a deep muddy hole that sunk down into the deepest parts of the earth.  A hole with quicksand in the bottom sucking me further down and with absolutely no way to climb out.  No ladder, no rope, no light at the top.  That absence of everything except fear and despair.

For me, personally, I also lost pretty much everything in my physical life.  From running three successful businesses I ended up losing them all – home, family, friends, pets, even furniture and personal treasures and as I took my final steps away from my DNOTS, I realised that I had nothing – just me.  My Self.  And that Self took itself into a cocoon and thus began the journey of metamorphosis.

In the bottom of that well of despair you discover who you are. You discover who you are not.  And if you are a person who has bucket loads of determination, courage and strength you eventually discover that these are three of the tools you need to emerge.  I’d already discovered, through widowhood and 15 years of chronic illness, that I did have these things. 

I mentioned that DNOTS is about absence.  It’s not just about the loss of stuff in the physical, it’s also a time to go deep inside yourself and review everything you believe about yourself – who you think you are, how you believe you are viewed by the world, your worth to Self and to society. To start this work you first have to recognise that you are in your DNOTS. 

DNOTS forces you to dig deep.  Everything needs to drop away.  And it is hard work.  All your beliefs – in yourself and the world you live in have to be reviewed.  For me, that happened by dramas cycling around and around in my life until I worked it out, until I learned to overcome the fear and the despair, to recognise and acknowledge the anger and to really learn that lesson of forgiveness.

Although it’s unlikely to be recognised whilst you are in your DNOTS, this time is also a period of immense growth.  There are huge opportunities to be grasped if only you can be aware enough to see them; to have the strength and courage to go after them.

It was, literally, just one week after I entered my DNOTS in September 2014 that new people started to enter my life; people that would become, for a while, my teachers and guides.  It was just one month after that time, that I had my initial, conscious Spiritual Awakening experience.  3 ½ hours of the most immense pain and confusion – and also the most wonderous single experience of my life – and that even includes giving birth to my daughter which was also amazing.  It’s not uncommon for a DNOTS to trigger an intense Spiritual Awakening process and for me, this totally changed my life forever.

I have cycled through these dramas, loosing much and gaining much as understanding started to flower.  There have been several times that I thought I had emerged, only to discover that no, the dramas are still there, still not fully resolved, still some remaining anger, fear or an acknowledgement that I really am not ready to forgive.  Emerging from a DNOTS feels like rising waves – you ride a wave believing you have reached the top of your dark well only to find yourself slipping back.  But each time you rise a bit higher, fall a little less. 

Although, for me it felt like waves, a more true description would be to consider the emergence as a spiral.  Samsara – the cycle of death and re-birth.  I was presented with an Energy – some drama would occur in my life which was so horrible and difficult it was like a part of me was dying.  But as I learned to recognise the Energy and understand the lessons; as I learned to dig deep into my beliefs and recognise Truths and Untruths; as I started the work to change those beliefs, I would emerge, changed by the experience only to discover the same Energy appearing a few weeks or months later in a different scenario requiring different exploration of my Self.  I mentioned earlier the tools you need to hold to work through these cycles – Strength.  Determination.  Courage.  You need these by the bucket-load.

It’s now almost 6 years since I fell into my DNOTS and I’m no longer that person I was.  I no longer even recognise that old version of me.   Over the last 12 months or so, as I took my final steps away from my Well of Despair,  I have undergone an immense metamorphosis.  I am, literally, no longer the person I was.  The Physical, Spiritual and Emotional changes are far greater than most people will ever understand.  I took those tools of Strength, Determination and Courage and made them my own.  I am stronger, more confident, more ALIVE than I have ever been.  I have spent a lifetime of struggle and fear and now I recognise ME.  I recognise the Starseed that I truly am within this human camouflage.  It is precisely because of the journey down the path of DNOTS that I am moving into a future beyond that which I couldn’t even envisage when I fell. 

Some people never emerge.  All they see is the drama, the fear, the anger.  They don’t hold the strength and courage to face their Self in the mirror – especially when, in that deep well of despair, there is no light to shine the reflection back to you.  You have to travel within.  You have to hold the courage to face Samsara – the death and re-birth of life.  And you absolutely must be determined to succeed.

Right now, the Collective Conscious of Humanity is falling down that well.

I send out the call for all peoples of this planet to gather their Strength, Determination and Courage, not to face the illusions of our current society, but to face that hardest place of all – You.

Gy’ Shé em

Auri’An

Taken from a talk on the bi-monthly chat with the International Koalition of Krones – https://youtu.be/kx4xkz5IgQs

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