Helping Ego

Today I want to share a personal story with you.  It’s something that happened a few years back – when I was barely started on my Awakening Journey.  It took me a few years to fully understand what had happened in that situation, but it is something that profoundly affected me and I see the same Energy of it happening in current society.  Other people falling into the same trap.  And it is because I understand just how easy it is to fall into this trap – and how very hard it is to get out again – that I am sharing this today. This is about wanting to help and how in some cases, helping is actually inappropriate and it can back-fire.   It’s also a very eye-opening tale about Ego – and just how sneaky it can be.

I’ve always had this strong urge to help people.  I saw myself as a “helper” and quite frequently as a “Rescuer”.  The urge to help people was very strong. 

I had a friend who needed help.  She was a close friend, I considered her a sister and I could see that she was hurting very badly but she wouldn’t tell me what the problem was.  Sometimes she was angry, sometimes very fearful and it broke my heart to watch her.  I felt so ineffective.  I knew, I KNEW I could help if she’d only tell me what the problem was.

Then, in dance class, she was in tears and I went to give her hug.  That was all it took and she became furiously angry, focused all that anger at me and spat out all the fear and venom that she had been holding right at me.  I was devastated.  Devastated that I couldn’t help my friend and I was absolutely desperate to do so. 

Yes, my friend had a problem.  Something that was causing her distress, but she had made it very clear that she didn’t want help.  I dis-respected her choice and in my desperation to help I turned her problems into a story about me.  It became about my need to help.  MY inability to reach her and sort things out.  MY emotional distress at being refused.  After all – all I wanted to do was to help.  It was years later that I realised I had exacerbated the situation because of my Ego.  It was my Ego that drove me to insist on helping even when my help wasn’t sought after or wanted.  I didn’t see that my Ego as involved.  How can it be Egotistical when all you want to do is GIVE?  To Help?  But the reality was, my Ego was jumping up and down, waving flags and holding a party because it had made me so sure that I was the Saviour of my friend’s situation.

So how come this personal story from several years back relates to what is happening to Starseeds right now.  Well, we’ve spoken over the last few chats (IKoK Bi-monthly chats – see below for info) about the addiction energy that is draining Starseeds.  We’ve spoken about how strong it is and chances are you’ve grieved over friends who seem to be lost down the rabbit hole of QAnon and other conspiracy theories, just as we have.  What we haven’t spoken of is how this addiction actually grabs hold of Starseeds.   Well.  It seems to me that it is Ego that opens the door to that addiction.  That need to help, that DRIVE to help can become so very, very strong that it does become like an addiction.  You need that hit of knowing that you helped someone feel better.

Starseeds, almost without exception, want to help people.  So what better way to hook Starseeds than to show them people who need help.  People they feel desperately that they NEED to help, that they are able to help. People who are suffering intense pain.  Abuse.  Torture.  Black Magic. Stuff you can barely imagine.  And when it’s children who are suffering this things?? Well the need goes right up through the roof.  And what does QAnon etc give them.  These very things.  Through Conspiracy Theory, they show Starseeds the stories that tap into that very real desire to help those who cannot help themselves.  Starseeds are being taken down with their own gifts.  Gifts that should be used to help humanity.  They are ‘fighting’ for a made-up cause.  They are giving their Energy to feed those who are trying to take them down.  And they can’t see that they are being driven in the wrong direction by an Ego that is jumping up and down, waving flags.  Having a party.

How do we know that Ego is involved – just read their posts when challenged.  They’ve done what I did.  They’ve turned the story around to be about themselves.  But like me, they can’t see it.  It’s about how they are helping and others aren’t.  It’s about how they protest, carry guns, wear a mask, don’t wear a mask.  It’s about Us and Them.  It’s about division and fear and anger.  It’s not about Love, compassion, peace.  And if very definitely is not about forgiveness.

And the part that is so very hard is that most of these conspiracy theories have some element of truth in them.   All these Starseeds want to do is be the saviour of those who can’t save themselves.  And they haven’t yet worked out that what they think they need so desperately to save is an illusion.

These are just my thoughts. You can agree or not, but I hope that this sharing of my personal story and how I see it applying to what is happening today, has given you some food for thought.

Gy’ Shé em
Auri’An

Note: This is the transcript of a talk I gave on the International Koalition of Krones bi-monthly chat. If you want to watch the You Tube version of this and other chats, readings and messages, please follow this link:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1-dXpuahHKlTYr3nWTyI3w

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