Posted in 2019

Food for Thought – What do you share….

I would like to ask you  a question or three about a post that appeared in one of my FB pages.  Or rather, just ask you to consider something. I’ve written on this topic several times in this blog; I give workshops on this topic and frequently (metaphorically) stand on my soap-box and hope I reach at least SOMEONE!

It’s about how the Energy of this type of post works. The particular post that triggered this tirade, was a video of the rubbish that is clogging our oceans and destroying wildlife. You’ve probably seen it yourself – it’s been going around a fair bit. But it could just as easily have been a “trophy” hunter or a picture of animal or child cruelty.

What did you feel when you first saw this post.  Or any other post that shows the cruelty of man or the unthinking pollution of humans. What emotion?  Were you angry? Sad? Frustrated? Fearful? I’d like to bet that you weren’t joyous or happy or filled with love and light.

So when you were feeling these things, these low-frequency emotions, what made you want to pass those feelings – that Energy – on to someone else?

Why did you want to make someone else feel angry, sad, frustrated, fearful?  Consider how many folk read your posts, and now they are all possibly experiencing low frequency emotions too – and spreading them wider as they too hit Share without considering the Energy implications.

Did it make you feel better to share this post? 
Did you feel that you’ve done something positive about the rubbish in the ocean – by spreading those horrible emotions?  Maybe you thought that someone will actually do something if you spread all these negative emotions a bit further? Someone else – not you. See where I’m going here?

Does your spreading this fear and anger and sadness remove a single plastic bag from the oceans?

Does pressing “Share” save the life of a sea-creature?

Sorry – it didn’t.

Some people say, “Well it raises awareness”. Yes it does, but that awareness is only valuable if everyone does something about it.  But did that awareness-raising of the individual who reads this post remove the rubbish from the ocean or did it just sadden another person.  Or make someone else angry, fearful, or indifferent.  Did raising the awareness of this problem of humanity’s making, make any change to you.  Did hitting Post raise up your vibration in a positive way?  It might have stoked your Ego a little ‘”Hey aren’t I good?  I raised the awareness of the mess in the ocean.  Maybe someone else will clean it up.”

How much better would it be if you used that energy in a positive way instead.  If, instead of just hitting Post and feeling as if you have done your bit, you actually got up and spoke with the local supermarket about changing policies on plastic use or lobbied the council to insert those cages inside drains that gather up rubbish before it can reach the sea?  How about if you used a little more energy in a positive way and started to write awareness posts that made people think about their own habits and contributions to the mess of our oceans?  Or shared this? Or just looked after your own back yard and make a decisions to not contribute in any manner that you can avoid, to the mess we, as humans, have made.

Like most other people who share such things, you are lead into believing that you are doing good, but no.  You are actually spreading those low-frequency energies.  We do all know there are such atrocities going on in the world – there is no reason to advertise them.  If you delete such posts, you are not ignoring the problem, you are preventing the pain being passed to more people who, most likely wouldn’t have done anything other than pass that Energy on.  What if you delete such posts and then do something about the problem instead of hoping that someone else will look after the trouble if only enough people know about it – then we will be heading in the right direction.

I know that this will rile a few people up – but that’s OK.  I just want you to think a bit before hitting Share or Post.  What is the Energy of this post I’m about to share?  Is it uplifting, high-frequency, loving?  Or not?

Am I really just spreading low-frequency Energy or am I actually doing something positive about fixing the problem? Whatever your answer, whatever you decide – if you think before hitting Share, you are taking a step in the right direction.

Posted in 2019

Who is Auri’An?

Yesterday I divorced my husband.  It was probably one of the most easy things I have ever done.  We are great friends, get on really well in almost every respect but, we both realised only a few months after we got married that we should have just stuck with friendship.

At the time I was deep into the archetype of Rescuer – or if you prefer the Jungian definition, The Caregiver.  I’m a strong Empath and at that time in my journey, having come through some pretty hard stuff myself, I wanted to fix everybody else’s problems.  My husband had some health issues that he was ignoring and I felt that he needed rescuing.  Looking back neither of us doubt that I saved his life on a couple of counts, but a big Ego (me) and a possible need to be saved (him) are not reasons to marry. 

We scraped by fairly well, mainly by living separate lives, for almost 16 years and I can’t see the friendship ever fully falling over, but when we filed for divorce, there was a possibility of another Mrs Thomson and the question of name and possible name changes came up in conversation. 

Things like this get my mind working deeply.  I start analysing self and digging into my history and my desires for the future, and I realised that I did not want to remain as Mrs. Thomson.  I also realised that both my previous names – my first marriage which ended in widowhood at an early age and my maiden name, felt very heavy.  There was much baggage attached to both names which I do not want to carry forward into this new stage of a life that is filled with potential.  A new name was needed. 

I meditated. 

I am a meditation therapist/teacher and meditation is my first port of call to resolve sticky problems.  At the very least my mind gets a time to calm down and get centred, but there are also times when my meditation goes deep.  Very deep.  I frequently travel within meditation and I also interact with Guides and other Beings.  This meditation brought forth the Big Guns – not just any Guide, but my Master Guide. 

For those of you who are sceptical of such things, it may be a good idea to skip the next paragraph, LOL, because this could be too far out there for some folk to accept – but here it is.  It’s my belief and in this case, that’s all that counts!

I went on a Journey.  I am Starseed from the Almaak constellation in the Andromeda Galaxy.  I have journeyed ‘home’ a few times and that is where I ended up in this meditation.  I have also interacted with a Being there named Layhangh.  On this trip Layhangh sent me on a Journey through several of my past lifetimes, but that’s not really relevant here.  What is relevant is that this Journey was to “learn who I am.”  I learned many things – including my name.  Auri’An.  If I wanted to make this my legal name in this lifetime, I’d also need a family name.  That turned out to be so easy!  Layhangh is a family member.  Lay is the family name. 

My new name – Auri’An Lay. 

OK sceptics – safe to read on…   LOL.

The divorce doesn’t become absolute for one month and one day, and I promised myself that I wouldn’t make any legal changes until that time had passed.  Changing your name in such a drastic way is not something to be undertaken lightly.  It is a major thing requiring major deliberations.  But whether I change it legally or not, it is the name I am using from now on. 

For me, this change of name represents a line in the sand. A physical representation of the leaving behind of all the drama, trauma and history of Sue Thomson and all her other names. A metamorphosis from the fear-driven person I was to the new story I am writing for myself.

Hi there…..   IN-Joy I greet you. 

I AM Auri’An.

Posted in 2019

Helping You – 6

I thank you for your patience – I needed to lay the background down for you over the last few posts so that you know that digging yourself out of that dark hole of depression, anxiety and stress is not only about what is going on in your head – it’s also about what is going on in your body!

Last issue I let you into a little bit of my life – which has been filled with stress, anxiety and depression issues.  I got out of that dark hole.  There’s still a lot of stress in my life but now I can deal with it without getting overwhelmed.  And this is what I want to show you. 

For me I had to start from a very dark place.  In chronic pain, unable to walk more than 4-5 steps, depressed, a whole heap of physical problems ranging from severe food intolerances, migraine, chronic fatigue.  I was popping pills by the bucket-load.  That was what first changed.  With the guidance of my doctor (yes, I had a lot of arguments with her about this, and I would NEVER advocate stopping prescribed meds – there are very good reasons why some medication shouldn’t be stopped) I slowly cut down on meds.  It took me two years but eventually I was medication free.  I was controlling my pain through meditation.  I didn’t realise I was meditating – I was simply breathing through the pain. 

I started pushing my physical activity. I started walking to the door and back.  A few days later I made it to the lift and back.  In small increments over a 4 month period I eventually was able to walk about 1km.  Belly dancing was next on my list of activities.  Yes – using belly dance as a therapy is how I ended up teaching it here in Cardwell!  Eventually I was running a small holiday apartment complex, cleaning, making beds and the mum of two very huge Newfoundland dogs.  Dancing, working, cycling, walking the dogs – it seemed I lived an active life.  I’ll never been in that top 5% of fittest people again and I still live my life in chronic pain – but you know what?  I can walk.  How cool is that!!!

So what can you do to start this journey.  The first and the hardest step is to decide that you are going to get your life back.  You need to decide that you are in charge of your physical and your emotional well being. 

I’m an Holistic Counsellor.  That means that I don’t get you to dig into the painful past unless you want to go there.  I am far more concerned with how you feel RIGHT NOW – and how we can work together to make it better.  So if you have problems with stress, anxiety, depression, chronic pain – you now have a choice.  This is your first step toward either recovering or remaining as you are. 

WARNING – this is where I get tough. 

It’s a hard choice and you need to be super clear and honest with yourself.  You have to work out if you are actually comfortable where you are.  I know that on the face of it, it sounds silly, but lots of people are actually happy being unhappy!  It’s what they know; it’s what they are comfortable with.  Some part of your body doesn’t work or you feel depressed – you go give those problems to the doctor and if you are lucky you’ll get some pills to pop. 

Is this you?  Or do you want to take charge of your own health – physical and emotional?  Are you prepared to do the work needed to turn things around?  It’s not hard work and it doesn’t required lots of sweat!  But it does require your determination to succeed.

So that is your homework this week.  Make a decision.  The first, and I believe, the hardest step to your recovery is making this decision and to decide you have the determination to carry it through.  The rewards are huge!

In the next post I’ll start to give you some of the tools that will help you once you have made that so important decision that you ARE going to get back your zest; that you DO want to live a fuller and happier and more fulfilled life.



Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Helping You – 3

Helping You – 4

Helping You – 5



Posted in 2019

Helping You – 5

Over the last 4 posts, we’ve had a good look at what happens in your body when you go into overwhelm.  You know that feeling, it’s when everything gets on top of you and you just want to burst into tears and hibernate somewhere until it all goes away.  Doesn’t matter if its work, kids, school, finances, partner issues, illness, chronic pain or a sabre toothed tiger popping up in the supermarket.  Your body reacts exactly the same – it hops into the Fight or Flight Response at warp speed plus.

If you want to know more about the Fight or Flight Response (FFR) follow the links below to my previous articles on this topic

Last issue we touched upon some of the ways we actually keep ourselves in that Fight or Flight Response (FFR) situation and in this issue I want to look at how that constant low-grade FFR affects your health.

Actually it’s easy.  Pretty much every thing you have a health issue with can be directed back to your lifestyle with a big emphasis on the amount of stress you deal with.

I know someone who has been in that Stress Response (FFR) pretty much all her life.  It has badly affected her health, and I am going to give you the short version of those problems – and the way she climbed out of that cycle.  I know this person very well indeed.  It’s me.  I tell you this not for sympathy, but rather to show you that you can be in the lowest place and still climb out if you are prepared to put in the work. 

I was emotionally abused as a child, but it was so insidious I didn’t even realise it was abuse until a few years ago.

I lived in a town on the Cold War strike list.  The threat of a nuclear bomb landing on my home town was very real.  We lived in the shadow of nuclear power stations; built nuclear submarines.  The IRA and Greenpeace activists were a constant worry. 

I was a classical ballet dancer – with all the demands and stresses of that profession.

In 1980 I found myself on the floor of a shopping mall in the UK in the middle of racial riots.  Noise, shrieks, glass windows crashing to the floor, youths trying to kill each other, missiles being thrown.  It took another 20 years before I was diagnosed with PTSD.  I had full-scale panic attacks almost every day as I pushed myself to live as close to a normal life as possible. 

I’m an Empath and the world news of that era – war, famine, torture were constant on the news – I couldn’t handle it and had a breakdown.

My husband was diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer.  I nursed him at home.  During this time there was also problems with money, threats to have our house taken off us and so much more.

I collapsed, paralysed for several hours on the bathroom floor.  I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  I had been an elite athlete; I trained with Olympic athletes and ranked in the top 5% fittest people on Earth.  Now I couldn’t walk across the room. 

Recently, there’s been really tough financial situations; another breakdown; relationship issues…..  the list is ongoing.

I say that I have lived my life in constant fear.  To a certain extent this is true, but there were also joys and love and laughter.

One day my doctor told me I needed to stop working and start using a wheelchair.  That is when I turned my life around.  A wheelchair was not for me.

This seems long winded, but believe me it is the short version! 

So what did I do to get myself out of this stressful, anxiety-laden life?  That first step is the hardest – I recognised that I needed to stop living in fear and do something about where I’d ended up.  I had to work it out myself as I had no help.  It’s absolutely not a quick fix. This work takes strength and determination.  And it starts with the breathing exercise I gave you in the very first post in this series!  But MAN it is worth the effort.

More next time – I’ve run out of space!

Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Helping You – 3

Helping You – 4



Posted in 2019

Helping You – 4

In the last edition I talked about the cascade of events that happens when the Sympathetic Nervous System kicks in with Fight or Flight Response – how it’s like stomping on the accelerator of your car.  I also mentioned how the Parasympathetic Nervous System cuts in to help calm everything down once the danger, or perceived danger, has passed.

What I want to talk about today is what happens when we keep getting triggered and the parasympathetic nervous system doesn’t get a chance to apply the brake!

Basically, the sh*^ hits the fan!  If, for whatever reason, we don’t realise that there really isn’t anything dangerous going on, something called the HPA Axis kicks in.  The Hypothalamus get back into the picture and notifies the Pituitary gland which lets the Adrenals know they need to release cortisol into our system.  That means we keep our foot on the gas pedal and our body stays ramped up for action.  And it pretty much stays that way until we can work out that the danger is passed.  When the all-clear happens, the adrenals stop producing cortisol and as that fades away we can relax again.

In modern day society, we are not likely to meet a sabre-toothed tiger.  Our FFR is far more likely to be the result of someone’s dodgy driving and even that can be fairly short term.  If FFR is something that happens every now and then and only lasts about 15 minutes – there’s no real problem, but we LIVE in FFR.  We rarely, if ever, allow that cortisol to fade away and fully relax.  Our FFR triggers are so commonplace that we accept them as a way of life – money worries, kids, spouse, the electricity bill, the boss getting on our case, being unemployed, menopause, empty nest, retiring, chronic pain.  The list is on-going.  I’m sure you can think up some more.  And, even more disturbing we voluntarily put ourselves in FFR through the things we watch on TV – movies, news – and the bun-fights we get into on social media.  Then, when you include the pressure we put on each other and ourselves to conform to a certain ideal….  Too tall / too short; too thin / too fat;  growing older, struggling with diets and disliking the view in the mirror.  We have been programmed to live in the FFR.  For sure, it’s a mild version but it is still scary in it’s implications for our health.

And that my friends is the next topic before we really look at what we can do about it.

Are you still breathing?  Three deep breaths remember ❤



Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Helping You – 3



Posted in 2019

Helping You – 3

NOTE: My local paper (for which these articles were first written) started off very small just a few months ago and is growing beautifully. Unfortunately that means that I no longer get a full page for my column! All is good though – a link will be provided to this blog so all my readers can carry on following…..
Downside though is that I have to flood this blog site will all the catch-up articles!!! Happy reading!

We’ve spoken about the Fight or Flight Response and briefly discussed how your body’s defence systems by-pass your brain, scooting into action before your logical brain has time to wake up and notice what is happening.  In this post I’d like to dig a bit deeper into how this works.

The Fight or Flight Response (FFR) has a very serious job to do.  It is our first line of defence when something potentially bad is happening or about to happen.  It puts our body into ‘high alert’ by flooding our system with adrenaline and a whole cocktail of other hormones and making sure that blood is diverted away from your gut and other non-essential parts such as your brain,  Yep – your body knows that your brain is useless if your head has been chomped by that sabre-toothed tiger.  In such dangerous conditions your legs are the most important parts of your body!  The problem, though, is that we no longer know how to switch that response off.

Think of a dog.  These guys are masters of dealing with FFR.  Pooch is lying in the sun, snoring, twitching feet, legs every which way and seemingly without a care in the world when something triggers him.  He shoots up, looking totally confused for about half-a-second and stands on high alert – tail fluffed up, hair sticking out so he looks bigger; maybe even barking.  And then he realises that it was just a dream, or that there’s no danger and with a very sheepish look he settles back down and two minutes later he’s snoring again.

What’s happened is that FFR response was triggered, but as soon as his mind caught up and worked out that all was safe in his world, his body reacted by relaxing.

The jargon stuff is that the Sympathetic Nervous System jumped into action letting the Amygdala know something was up.  The Amygdala notified the Command Centre (the Hypothalamus) which sends in the solders to wake up the Adrenals who flood the body with epinephrine (also known as adrenalin).  Epinephrine flooding your body is a bit like stamping down on the accelerator of your car – nought to sixty in no time!   In my mind, this is probably the most efficient system we have in our body!  There is a whole cascade of stuff that happens, almost instantaneously,  without us being in the least bit aware of it.  Then, when the cerebral cortex (the logical part of your brain) catches up and realises there isn’t really any danger, the Parasympathetic Nervous System kicks in and allows the body to settle back down to it’s normal state.

But what happens when the body doesn’t settle back down?  When we keep triggering the FFR?  This is what our modern society is constantly doing – and we will look at that in the next edition.

Did you miss the previous posts in this series? Here’s the links….

Helping You – 1

Helping You – 2

Posted in 2019

Helping You – 2

In Helping You – 1, I spoke about a very simple breathing exercise you can do when things threaten to overwhelm you.  Breathing is so easy – we are all masters at it but we tend to forget all about it when faced with stuff getting too much for us.

The reason that stuff gets too much is something you’ve probably heard of – The Fight or Flight Response, but if you are not too sure what it is, here’s the speedy version…

Millions of years ago, when sabre-toothed tigers roamed the world, having a bit of a day-dream whilst you were going about the chore of staying alive was rather dangerous.  Then (and now in some situations) the FFR was, literally, a life-saver.  The problem is that if we just relied on our eyes to tell us that a tiger is hiding behind a tree and then factored in the time it took for our brains to process that info and get us moving out of the way, we’d be kitty dinner.

Our bodies constantly take in information at a rapid rate – through our eyes, our skin, sound, smell and taste.  Although we can process this information without really even thinking about it, it still takes a micro-second too long to get us to physically respond fast enough to that possible danger.

Did you note that I said possible danger?  That’s because the FFR actually gathers all that information, totally by-passes most of your brain functions and whacks the body into high-gear, flooding it with a cocktail of enzymes, dragging blood away from your gut and pushing it all into your arms and legs ready so you can get the heck out of there; thump the tiger on the nose or maybe freeze solid in the hope it won’t spot you. 

And THEN your logical brain picks up that something is wrong and gets into the game by studying all that information and deciding that it’s not a sabre-toothed tiger, it’s just someone in the supermarket wearing a leopard-skin onesy!  (Yep – still scary!).  What is supposed to happen next is that your body relaxes, more enzymes are released neutralising that first rush of adrenalin and you, feeling rather silly and maybe a bit nauseous, go back to choosing which lettuce to buy. 

Those deep breaths I spoke of in the last edition?  They are designed to give your logical brain time to catch up and realise that all the stuff that is happening isn’t life-threatening,  just really frustrating.  It gives your body time to allow those FFR enzymes time to calm down and for you to not blow your top.

I’m going to talk a bit more about this in the next post in this series because, in our modern world, those FFR enzymes are running almost constantly for many of us and are affecting our health. 

(This Helping You series was written for my local town newspaper – Coral Sea Sun, but as I thought it may help readers here too…. here it is!!!)