Posted in 2019

Question

I am blessed in that I have friends who challenge me. They have a tendency to say something off the wall that flings my mind into overdrive and I delve deep into whatever thoughts arise.

One such friend, who lives in America, is a master in posing metaphysical or ethical questions – before my first cup of coffee in the morning! The question will await me on Messenger or Face Book and MAN that is challenging at 4.30am! And I love it. When something grabs my attention I wholly commit to seeking my answers; which usually flow with ease and a confident Knowing of my Truth at this particular point in linear time. It’s as if I had been working on the question for months. In the case of this friend, I delve into my beliefs and my current knowledge and learn where I stand on a whole variety of somewhat tricky topics, and I grow in my knowledge of Self and the Truths that change as I move through this linear world.

Another friend threw me a real curve-ball the other day. It was an unusual question, in some ways relevant to the conversation, but totally unexpected and I was rather surprised that my normal Knowing didn’t jump up and provide the answer. I know I said I would rather not, and that answer was accepted, but I have since spent many hours turning over the question – and my response. The question was “Would I accept charity?”

Normally that would be an easy question. No, I wouldn’t. I have an intense need to be self-sufficient. I come from a working class family where there has always been a sense of pride in the presentation of a certain level of living. For example, as a child I was always well dressed, but few probably knew that my mum would stay up all night sewing these clothes, re-purposing from old cast-offs. As an adult I’ve lived times of plenty when money was not a big issue and I have lived times where funds are extremely limited. During each of those harder times, I have followed my mother’s lead and not allowed people to see the difficulties.

One of these difficult times has stretched back for the last 10 years. The bank made an error in a business loan that they wouldn’t fix. We fought this for years through every avenue we could all the time getting into more and more debt.. We knew that if we dropped the ball in appearing ‘comfortable’ the vultures would descend upon us really quickly. Finally we handed the whole lot back to the bank and then had to survive a whole 12 month period with zero income. We sold everything we owned in order to pay the rent and keep a roof over our heads. And I had to learn to accept charity.

I discovered I am a proud woman. I also discovered that if I refused assistance, I was refusing to let people help me in a similar manner to which I have helped others. It shocked me that I was so willing to offer help but too proud to accept. It was another lesson from Ego. I would like to be able to say that this lesson has been learned and I could accept that which is given, with love and humility, but I can’t. During that 12 months, recovering from injury and with no income, I had to learn to let go of that pride, that strong drive for self-sufficiency because at that time there was no other option. I needed to learn that it takes strength to admit that help is needed – and even more than admitting, it takes strength to accept help with dignity – especially from people who do not expect a return. Each time, it broke my heart.

Things are still not good, but they are an awful lot better than they were. I’m holding my own. Not attempting to keep up appearances, but also not willing to let them slip too much.

Now, perhaps, you can see why that question, “Would I accept charity” caused me to dig deep within Self. Right now, the answer is no, I won’t. But last year – I had no choice. It was accept or live on the streets. Is it pride that drives me to say no, even now? I honestly don’t know. But what I do know is that I have two arms, two legs and a half-way reasonable brain and I’d much rather earn my daily bread.

And that first friend, the one who asks the tricky questions early in the morning – it was she who taught me that I give and I give and I give. Isn’t it time I allowed someone else to do that occasionally?

Posted in 2019

Tears

I have been a person easily moved to tears all my life. Many situations move me in such a way, but especially those situations where I feel vulnerable. It is the common belief that such tears are a sign of weakness that has lead many people to belittle me and also, to under-estimate me.


For most of my life I have worked hard not to allow those tears to flow so easily and the result was disastrous – I reached a point where I couldn’t stop them. I had a breakdown 5 years ago.


It’s been a long journey back from that dark place and tears have, many times, lead the way. But these have often been cathartic. A release of emotions too long squished down. The releasing of such emotions eventually allowed me to examine them, to understand why I feel so deeply and to learn to flip almost every situation that previously caused me so many problems. Instead of squishing the emotion, bottling it up until it explodes in tears, I seek the lesson, the joy, the love in each event. That light is always there even though I sometimes have to dig deep to find it.


The result is someone who is (most of the time) standing in her Power. Who understands her strengths – and her weaknesses. Who understands that tears are not a sign of weakness, but are often a sign that there is work to do.


Recently I was talking with someone I hold in especial high regard; we discussed one of the areas where I feel vulnerable and I felt the tears form. There were many choices before me at that time. I could be embarrassed and feel weak for showing these tears and therefore squash them down. I could let them flow and tell myself I was being honest with my emotions, but also aware that if I did that there would be an element of “Poor Me” which is something I abhor. Or I could chose to see the lesson, the compassion and yes, the Love that my vulnerable situation has to show me – the “What is possible from this position?”


From a position of vulnerability there IS a whole heap of possibilities, they just have to be recognised and the work to change that area of vulnerability to be started. Recognition is the first step.

Auri’An (Sue Thomson) lives in Cardwell, Queensland and is the Founder of Ki’An Healing and Helping You.  She is a Meditation Therapist and Holistic Counsellor, Spiritual Teacher/Healer, Energy Healer, Belly Dance teacher…….  

Contact Auri’An by email: kianhealing@gmail.com  to book a private consultation.

Posted in 2019

Helping You – 1

This is the first in a series that Auri’An is writing for her local newspaper – “Coral Sea Sun”

Maybe today was a bad day.  Maybe the kids wouldn’t stop fighting, the dog threw up on the couch, and the washing machine flooded the kitchen.  Maybe today was a day you really just wanted to go back to bed and wish it would all go away.  Maybe today you just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. 

We all have those days.  I’m sure you recognise that, even if your bad stuff is different.  That feeling of being overwhelmed, of everyone looking to you to sort it out but seeming to not care that you just don’t want to do it any more.  That you need a break.

There are many ways that help you deal with it, get through it, and actually come out the other end still sane, and over the next few issues I’ll start to help you through some of these ways.  There’s nothing really hard, or flash or fancy about it. You don’t need to buy heaps of self-help books; you just need to know that you need some help and be determined to once again find your happy self.

One of the very easiest ways to get through this type of day – those days where everything seems to go wrong – is something that you have been doing most of your life, well, all your life actually – breathe.

But not just simply breathing in air and letting it escape again, you need to do this consciously: 

You stop whatever you are doing. 

You let your shoulders relax.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath in and then just sort of huff it out in one big, noisy swoosh.

Then, take another breath.  This time suck in as much air as you can.  Feel your chest expanding, your shoulders lifting and when you think you can’t take in any more – do just that….  Another little bit of air.  You can do it….

Then, as slowly as you can let it out. And when you think you’ve fully breathed out – go some more!  You’ll feel your shoulders pressing down, your tummy pushing upwards to squish your lungs.

You’ll automatically take another deep breath – let this one out with a swoosh again and then you just get on with whatever you had to do.

There’s many things that happen in the body when you take a couple of deep breaths, but there’s not really enough room to go through them here, but basically you are giving your body time to adjust and settle down from the Fight or Flight response all those overwhelming things put you into. 

I’ll tell you more about Fight or Flight next week.

Auri’An Lay lives in Cardwell, Queensland and is the Founder of Ki’An Healing and Helping You.  She is a Meditation Therapist and Holistic Counsellor, Spiritual Teacher/Healer, Energy Healer, Belly Dance teacher…….  

Contact Auri’An by email: kianhealing@gmail.com  Face Book https://www.facebook.com/KiAnHealing or phone: 0466 443 871 to book a private consultation.