Posted in 2016

The Elders.

Over the past couple of weeks there has been a sequence of events that is growing more and more interesting. It started with a friend posting a question on the First Wave Blue Ray Indigo Face Book page.  She asked if anyone had met the Elders.  I’d never heard of them, but was very intrigued.

Since Awakening, I have been aware of people watching me in my meditations.  I say ‘people’ but do not mean humans.  I’ve not known who they are, but have never found them threatening.  I connected the two.  These people could possibly be The Elders.

In response to my friend’s question, Essence Ka tha’ras posted an item about the Universal Elders and I knew the Truth of this.  I knew I was involved in some manner.

Just a few days later, I was in meditation and…..

Lulani came. I could see her swimming towards me and I welcomed her. I had wondered how I ‘ride’ her because it certainly doesn’t feel as if I sit on her back. Tonight I received my answer. I  don’t ride her at all – I AM her. We merge together andbecome one. 

Tonight she took me to see the Elders. It was a bit hazy as to how many people I saw. One female for sure and 2 or 3 males. There was some conversation, but I don’t  recall anything except “You are a part of the Seeding” and then a pressure on my third eye. The pressure is like two fingers pushing my forehead. I still feel it even though a good two hours has passed. I described it as like putting your underwear on back to front. Everything is covered but it feels different. A little uncomfortable. Strange.

Posted in 2016



First published 27/09/2015

How amazing are the ‘co-incidences’ in my life right now!  
I was in the middle of reading an inane fantasy series when i was nudged to re-read The Celestine Prophecy. On my first reading, I was barely started on this spiritual path, and I found the book hard-going. This time, although I still find the one dimensional dialogue a tad annoying, and am only able to read it in small bits, I am more able to recognise the steps I have been through and the levels I am currently working on. 
On the very same day as someone on the First Wave Blue Ray Indigo Face Book page asked for advice regarding a client, I read the Sixth Insight – people’s dramas – and it was obvious that this was the problem our friend was up against. Her client was using a Poor Me drama. I found myself re-reading that bit and then turned to myself to work out my Drama. It was quite shocking to realise that I too had been using Poor Me. I’ve gone through some bad stuff and, as I thought, I was seeking support and sympathy. I don’t believe I am as bad as our friend’s client – I’m not looking for other people to fix my problems – but I was using this drama. As in the book, I looked back at my family to work out why this should be my and it became incredibly obvious when I thought about my parents lives. Now that I am aware, I can start to monitor myself and then shut down the Poor Me drama when it comes up.

We thought that the problems of the last few years that we have been experiencing were over. But on Friday another matter reared it’s ugly head and I just collapsed. I was just starting to recover from a breakdown and I fell over in a major way. I phoned my husband seeking support and love, but he too was up to his eyeballs and was scathingly abrupt with me, even hanging up the phone on me. I fell over big time. Crying, shaking, vomiting. I couldn’t eve control my body.

Several hours later I started to calm down and by time Mal came home I was, starting to come together. A hug would have resolved many things, but Mal was, with his own set of problems and worries, not prepared to even talk civilly with me.

Moving on, we got over our individual issues and the following day, apologised and made up. And then I got to thinking about what had happened from a Spiritual point of view. Something disastrous happened and I needed love and support……..and energy as described in the Celestine Prophecy, my motive for phoning Mal was to take his energy, but Mal wouldn’t supply it. Without that stolen energy, I wasn’t able to deal. Mal’s Drama is Aloof. So that’s what he played when he came home. With both of us having submissive dramas it’s not surprising that we came to a breaking point.

I have some wonderful friends, and we were meeting up that day, yesterday, to dance at a Festival. They knew something was wrong and asked me open-ended questions about what had happened. It was the ideal opportunity to start a Poor Me drama. But I have learned to recognise this, learned in a spectacular fashion. I think I talked things over with my sisters without the Poor Me. Yes, the initial trigger is awful and once again the Universe has dropped us into a hard position. But I do know that these difficulties that keep happening are because we have some very important lessons to learn.

It could be tricky, this Poor Me drama. I think I have been using it all my life without the slightest idea what I was doing. I know I’m not going to immediately be able to stop, but now that I can recognise it, I plan to do my damnedest to stop it and change track.

The trick, I can see, is being able to tell the story without the need to seek pity for the situation I find myself in. All I can do is my absolute best.



Since writing this, almost a year ago, I have come across a number of situations where someone is ‘energy feeding’. It’s very easy to spot once you have recognised it in yourself.  And with that self recognition, I have found it fairly easy to stop!  Like breaking a bad habit.  Takes some determination and self-knowledge but is very achievable.  As for people trying to steal your energy – Ignore them!  Don’t let them feed from you, do not engage, keep your energy neutral.  They will rant and scream….jeep ignoring and staying centered.  It works every time.


Posted in 2016

Yggdrasil – Part 5

It’s been a while since I re-birthed Yggdrasil, and I thought I would bring you all up to date.  This is one powerful drum!

A few months ago, I helped a friend for a few days working on a Psychic Expo and one of the things I did was give free drum healing.  Except my only previous experience of this was a 15 minute workshop whist on a retreat- in a Tipi – and being shown two ways to do drum healing.  Both of which I forgot!

So, being much practiced in the art of bulls*^t, I made it up as I went along!  Something was good though….because over the next few weeks, my friend kept getting phone calls from people who had experienced my 5 minute freebie and wanted to book a proper session. LOL!

Since then I have practiced on friends and in my meditation circle.  With great results!

There are a lot of things I do in non traditional ways.  I want to do something, and no-one has told how it is expected to be done, so I just go do whatever it is, in my own way!  The drum healing is just one of those things.

The way I move the drum around the body, the beat, the volumn; these are all things that I just make up.  I do however, listen to the tone, I notice the areas of pain, of congestion and can work on those areas.  Mainly though I just be that conduit for Energy – and Allow….

Every breath in…..

Every breath out……


Posted in 2016

Source Energy – update….

Ive just been reading an older post of mine “Source Energy” and realise how much I have changed.  When I wrote that post, I was very new on this journey, experiencing some wild events, and felt Source Energy only when deeply meditating or during those wild-ride happenings! But how intensely it was felt!  

In those early days (gosh, not even two years ago!) the energy was way too much for me to handle.  It felt too strong, over-powering, so intense it was almost impossible to breathe.  I sizzled, almost exploding out of my skin.  I would visibly vibrate, the intensity was so high.  It also felt addictive, I wanted more, but wasn’t ready for more.  I couldn’t handle what I had!

Since then I have experienced the ups and downs of life; I have been to the pits of despair in my Dark Night of the Soul and have slowly worked my way back, a much wiser and calmer person.  And my perception of Source Energy has totally changed.

My DNOTS has completely changed my view of the world.  I now view everything through Love.  Matt Khan is right:  whatever appears, Love that.

And with that great Love, comes the ability to hold, to conduct, Source Energy indefinitely.  Every breath in, draws in Energy.  Every breath out, projects that loving Energy into your world.  Without cease.  You don’t need to contain a vast reservoir of Energy.  It is all around you, it is within you.  It is you.  Simply breathe.  The ‘high,’ the jitters, the visible vibration, these were because in my inexperience I was trying to hold on to that Energy. To store it up for the times I couldn’t connect.  Now I know that isn’t necessary. 

This difference is profound and leaves me wondering what deep insights, wonders and changes will occur in future years?  But for now….

Every breath in…….

Every breath out…….

Posted in 2016

Digging Through Ego

I’ve been thinking about Ego.

Like most people, I’ve had my moments of Ego and always, in hindsight I’ve disliked myself in those times.  That feeling of superiority, the whole “I know/have done/have experienced more than you” persona.

It’s usually not pretty.  And so I tend to watch myself fairly closely that my Ego is not colouring my words and emotions.  We’ve all seen and felt the energy of those people who  believe themselves so much better/further along the path…..  but then I also see other folk who project Ego all unknowingly.  And I realise just how insidious it can be.

So why am I thinking about this now?  Because something happened a couple of days ago and I wanted really badly to share it.  So I did, with my friends, people I trust.  These friends are awesome and would take what I said at face value and then celebrate with me.

But my busy brain got in on the picture and asked the question….was there an underlying Ego blast there?  A lot of self-searching later and my answer is No.  No ego, just excitement and a desire to share that experience for what it is.

But what about the possibility that people other than these friends see my talk as Ego?  As a “look what happened to me, you’ve not experienced this!” superiority?  That niggly voice can be very annoying!

This is something that has plagued my life; that has inadvertently led me into heaps of situations that have knocked the stuffing right out of me.  That has undermined my confidence and self-esteem.  The sharing and not feeling any form of ego, but still receiving the accusation; the empathic reaction to another’s problem and the resulting accusation of one-up-manship.  The accusation of needing to be better than everyone else.  These questions had, I thought, been laid to rest – until Ego popped up and said “You don’t get rid of me that easily!”

Ego isn’t all bad though.  It is a part of us that is involved in our consciousness. The etymology of ‘ego’ is “the self; that which feels, acts, or thinks,” from Latin ego “I”.  So your ego is, quite simply YOU.

Digging a little deeper: The “I” or self of any person (ego is Latin for “I”). In psychological terms, the ego is the part of the psyche that experiences the outside world and reacts to it, coming between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social environment, represented by the superego.

And so, back to Google to check out “superego”:  The superego is the ethical component of the personality and provides the moral standards by which the ego operates. The superego’s criticisms, prohibitions, and inhibitions form a person’s conscience, and its positive aspirations and ideals represent one’s idealized self-image, or “ego ideal.”

And I realise that there is a whole world of wonder regarding Ego.  It is not as simple as someone’s superiority, it is also not something that needs to be squashed right down and removed.  That would be squashing what makes you YOU!  The trick must be, as it is in many other aspects of life, in gaining a balance.  Of being able to yell “look what I experienced” without making other people feel as if they are lacking.

Or is their feeling of lack, something they need to look more deeply into on a personal level?

Sheesh……  This became complicated!